Gaslighting ( Archived) (119)

Jan 12, 2022 3:08 AM CST Gaslighting
QueSera_Sera
QueSera_SeraQueSera_SeraCork, Ireland62 Posts
Oxycodone: Gaslighting is prominent in the work place, and I have first hand experience of this. It got ugly because this particular person used all these mind boggling techniques to destabilise people. This said person would then report others to HR and spread gossip amongst others.

When it came down to the crunch, this said person lied and lied that staff had misinterpreted what she said and meant. It was truly shocking. So if anyone has been subject to this kind of behaviour I understand it only too well.
Similar to my situation, only my long standing friend befriended a woman who came from.an office where she had bullied someone and then when both met they had me as an easy target.
It went on for years and at the end it almost had me broken, I finally told them to leave me be and for fear of being reported them cooperated...I never reported them as is the case with gaslighting and bullying when it's verbal it's hard to prove,
Luckily I'm working from home the last 2 years ,but faced with the prospect of going back on a part time basis to the office and part time at home.
Even at that I'm considering a career change even with having contributed 22 years to a
pension there but my mental health is worth more than any pension
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Jan 12, 2022 3:17 AM CST Gaslighting
ChesneyChrist
ChesneyChristChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK7,144 Posts
ChesneyChrist: I imagine that the term gaslight has come to prominence because of the internets lack of shared reality. We're all sat here on our own, only in a very minor sense are we connected. The role of shared reality is tiny, ordinarily your way and my way would be moderated by the way. Gaslight comes on because we are all scattered individuals.
More than the empathy triggered by dealing with a real human face it's the shared reality of the earth. We are down to earth so I can see where you're coming from. Which is what the internet struggles with; I can see where you're coming from. It becomes progressively more difficult to see the point of view of others.
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Jan 12, 2022 3:29 AM CST Gaslighting
ChesneyChrist
ChesneyChristChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK7,144 Posts
I suppose a bit more like coding. People are not going to "get" you, they're not going to judge by the "spirit" by what was said. Technical error will cause a breakdown of the machine it doesn't have the same tolerances of human intelligence.
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Jan 12, 2022 3:42 AM CST Gaslighting
ChesneyChrist
ChesneyChristChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK7,144 Posts
And then we have the influencer where one reality dominates all of its fanatics. A totally dependent relationship and imaginary connection, the closest thing we have to the fascists, living vicariously through someone else.
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Jan 12, 2022 4:10 AM CST Gaslighting
ChesneyChrist
ChesneyChristChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK7,144 Posts
ChesneyChrist: And then we have the influencer where one reality dominates all of its fanatics. A totally dependent relationship and imaginary connection, the closest thing we have to the fascists, living vicariously through someone else.
There is influence and influenced instead of compromise with what just happens. It's a cult niche. It's a negative development of my body, my choice. Historically we were forced into all walks of life. Like being forced to keep the baby is an antidote to narcissism
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Jan 12, 2022 4:15 AM CST Gaslighting
ChesneyChrist
ChesneyChristChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK7,144 Posts
ChesneyChrist: There is influence and influenced instead of compromise with what just happens. It's a cult niche. It's a negative development of my body, my choice. Historically we were forced into all walks of life. Like being forced to keep the baby is an antidote to narcissism
Narcissism is about everything being on your terms. But the irony is that it's not more individual. I see a caste system emerging.
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Jan 12, 2022 4:22 AM CST Gaslighting
tomcatty
tomcattytomcattyCoral Bay, Paphos, Paphos Cyprus368 Threads 6 Polls 6,885 Posts
Youcannow: I can assure you it was an error in my haste to post .
Premature postinglaugh
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Jan 12, 2022 5:39 AM CST Gaslighting
Oxycodone
OxycodoneOxycodonePula, Central Croatia Croatia1,285 Posts
QueSera_Sera: Similar to my situation, only my long standing friend befriended a woman who came from.an office where she had bullied someone and then when both met they had me as an easy target.
It went on for years and at the end it almost had me broken, I finally told them to leave me be and for fear of being reported them cooperated...I never reported them as is the case with gaslighting and bullying when it's verbal it's hard to prove,
Luckily I'm working from home the last 2 years ,but faced with the prospect of going back on a part time basis to the office and part time at home.
Even at that I'm considering a career change even with having contributed 22 years to a
pension there but my mental health is worth more than any pension
These people seem to get some sort of sick pleasure out of how they carry on. Denying everything and the worst to me and a few others was when the person said sorry knowing full well it was not meant in anyway whatsoever. That in itself could wind others up causing them to react leaving them totally at the mercy of the gaslighter. These types are outright bullies.

When we had discussions about mental health she reported people after the sessions. Out of the blue people were questioning their own sanity.

Sometimes the change really does help to move away from these shuddering experiences. It’s not running away, absolutely not. As you say, your mental health is worth more. I hope everything works out for you. wine
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Jan 12, 2022 5:49 AM CST Gaslighting
Traolach
TraolachTraolachLondon, Greater London, England UK499 Posts
Oxycodone: These people seem to get some sort of sick pleasure out of how they carry on. Denying everything and the worst to me and a few others was when the person said sorry knowing full well it was not meant in anyway whatsoever. That in itself could wind others up causing them to react leaving them totally at the mercy of the gaslighter. These types are outright bullies.

When we had discussions about mental health she reported people after the sessions. Out of the blue people were questioning their own sanity.

Sometimes the change really does help to move away from these shuddering experiences. It’s not running away, absolutely not. As you say, your mental health is worth more. I hope everything works out for you.
State the bleeding obvious, why dont you
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Jan 12, 2022 6:03 AM CST Gaslighting
Oxycodone
OxycodoneOxycodonePula, Central Croatia Croatia1,285 Posts
Are people afraid to question their own ability to be wrong? Perhaps one needs to look at things from a different perspective from time to time.

Labels will always exist in some form or other as it is a way to identity, same as putting people in categories to make a comparison.

When it comes to people’s health no one likes to feel inferior, they would rather identify and try to make things better. It’s all about finding the right resources to assist you. And that can take time. One help group to the other can be very different. Like finding the right drug to assist you if you suffer from depression.

Branching out to another branch to the point where the actual perspective is totally lost and becomes not a discussion or decent debate but a battle knowledge and superiority, and I do not have time for that.

I’d rather share knowledge without belittling anyone or making them feel they are being picked on and over criticising them. When I share knowledge it sure ain’t like what I see going on here. And it ain’t all fluffy either.

wine
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Jan 12, 2022 8:35 AM CST Gaslighting
Traolach
TraolachTraolachLondon, Greater London, England UK499 Posts
Grandsiozzie: Let her, it's not like we are running out of kilo bites here r we now Troll-lars
Or your scroll finger tired? Or maybe, just maybe you want oxy to pay your next mouse? hmm

Let's state the obvious; you sir (lol) must be very, very bored. Just move on.. u know..
to where you feel at home. Is my advice.
Here we go. Another knight in shiny armour
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Jan 12, 2022 9:19 AM CST Gaslighting
galrads
galradsgalradsDublin, Ohio USA2,264 Threads 279 Polls 36,283 Posts
jac_the_gripper: I object to you using emotionanally charged name calling to try and manipulate an otherwise reasonable discussion.

I object when you use emotionally charged name calling to try and shut people up when they make some good points.

It's okay if people exist (and express themselves) who don't confirm your every belief. You don't have to stamp on them like they're scary spiders.
Just because you think snd say something Is a reasonably discussion doesn't make it so. Its not worth my time to respond to the rest of your post except to say you are the one trying to manipulate snd make people see the world the way yiou choose to see the wold.
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Jan 12, 2022 9:30 AM CST Gaslighting
mikey4691
mikey4691mikey4691Knoxville, Tennessee USA8 Threads 6,868 Posts
Grandsiozzie: Let her, it's not like we are running out of kilo bites here r we now Troll-lars
Or your scroll finger tired? Or maybe, just maybe you want oxy to pay your next mouse? hmm

Let's state the obvious; you sir (lol) must be very, very bored. Just move on.. u know..
to where you feel at home. Is my advice.
Trollars... rolling on the floor laughing ...thumbs up
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Jan 12, 2022 10:29 AM CST Gaslighting
LeeCharming
LeeCharmingLeeCharmingCardiff, South Glamorgan, Wales UK537 Threads 273 Polls 6,941 Posts
is gaslighting...noy just another word for brainwashing? A gaslighter would be a control freak and be expert...on the art of manipulation....feminism...uses a false narrative...to gaslight women...into believing it is something it is not and those women...have been the victims of gaslighting...for over 50 yearswow
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Jan 12, 2022 12:38 PM CST Gaslighting
Oxycodone
OxycodoneOxycodonePula, Central Croatia Croatia1,285 Posts
Shine your eyes well wellwink wine
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Jan 12, 2022 1:47 PM CST Gaslighting
Dedovix
DedovixDedovixBig Place, Central Serbia Serbia12 Threads 1 Polls 5,492 Posts
from what i see on the forums, everybody is an expert for psychology ,but no one cares about bat soup recipes
what happened with this world grin
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Jan 12, 2022 4:58 PM CST Gaslighting
fantaziya
fantaziyafantaziyawindsor, Nova Scotia Canada4 Threads 1,163 Posts
Selenite: What is gaslighting? And how do you know if it's happening to you?


“Oh come on. I never said that.”

“You’re just being overly sensitive.”

“I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal out of this…”

Psychologists use the term “gaslighting” to refer to a specific type of manipulation where the manipulator is trying to get someone else (or a group of people) to question their own reality, memory or perceptions. And it’s always a serious problem, according to psychologists.

According to the National Domestic Violence Hotline’s fact sheet, the techniques a gaslighter might use to manipulate someone else can include:

Withholding (meaning he or she refuses to listen or says they don’t understand)
Countering (when the abuser questions the gaslightee’s memory of an event)
Blocking/diverting (when the abuser changes the subject or questions the gaslightee’s thinking)
Trivializing (making the gaslightee's needs or feelings seem unimportant)
Forgetting/denial (when the manipulator pretends to have forgotten what actually happened or denies something he or she had previously agreed to)


One of the sings someone is gaslighting you:

In a confrontation with the person that might be gaslighting you, you feel like you suddenly find yourself in an argument you didn’t intend to have, you’re not making progress or you’re saying the same thing over and over again and not being heard.

I don't know why, but for some reason it looks likes a signs of Psychopaths'
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Jan 12, 2022 5:02 PM CST Gaslighting
mikey4691
mikey4691mikey4691Knoxville, Tennessee USA8 Threads 6,868 Posts
fantaziya: I don't know why, but for some reason it looks likes a signs of Psychopaths'
I told em to simma.. dunno
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Jan 12, 2022 5:14 PM CST Gaslighting
fantaziya
fantaziyafantaziyawindsor, Nova Scotia Canada4 Threads 1,163 Posts
mikey4691: I told em to simma..
handshake laugh
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