Authentic Self ( Archived) (132)

OK. Understood.

I think there's a distinct possibility though that one can be totally conscious and in a state of agape love, and then can get about without concern for how others perceive them. I am not that being, but I can see how it could exist.

I don't know what "agape love" is, so I couldn't say.

Generally speaking it is a love for all of mankind. This would be, I think, letting everyone be who they are without any judgement whatsoever. So, that person's perception is that everyone is great, regardless of what anyone says to them or about them.

I suppose if it is in your nature to behave in such a way as to conceal your true feelings, then concealing them is being your authentic self.

I don't think that's any part of agape. However it seems to me that most folks look at authentic, just as you've stated it.

I think that this is a socialized byproduct of ill informed schools, parenting and authority structures, telling/training us how to be.

Well I couldn't be my authentic self if it depended on my loving all mankind.

I'm afraid I would fall miserably short on that requirement, as well.

You see, there is the John Lennon type, who love humanity, yet seem to despise the individual, and there is my type, who likes, or even loves, some individuals, but doesn't give a hoot about mankind,

No, my comment was nothing to do with being agape. I became impatient and moved on before you had responded to my agape response.

Yeah. It is a lofty ideal. A good one, but lofty.

Lennon had the idea. I think it is so lofty that executing the ideal on a mankind level is a monumental task for most.

I think you give small hoot about mankind...

Well, I wish them well, but I don't really want to spend any time time with them.

I don't think being authentic is about caring or not what others think of me.
For me being authentic starts with being honest with myself with the real reason I choose this over that or decide this over that.

At one stage I realised that many of us go trough life "reacting" rather than consciously making our choices. I have seen women drinking too much, not because they like drinking, but because they NOW CAN. Or wear some crazy outfit, not because they like it but because they NOW CAN!.
And I realised I had done similar things with just about everything in my life. Even to the point of meeting someone and focussing one "what was now ok" totally oblivious to so many things that weren't!!

All come under my definition of reactions!!! And so sometime in 2006 I decided to "examine" all my choices by asking myself whether I really liked or enjoyed what I was about to choose or whether I was reacting to something from the past, be it parents, ex, culture, trauma, guilt, whatever...
That was the beginning of "redefined myself and my tastes and/or choices" from a more authentic place of my own. And shedding a load of stuff I no longer needed to cart around with me.

Of course it's a never ending process because the onion has many layers and we are so clever at kidding ourselves sometimes. This is all the more apparent when we examine the real reasons we might be doing a kindness for someone. Are we doing it out of the generosity and goodness of our heart or is there in there well hidden the need to be liked and thought of well by others? Being authentic would require that we acknowledge to our-self the real reason we are doing the act of kindness although I don't think we need to tell the person at the receiving end of the act of kindness in order to be authentic.

The more authentic with self one is the less it matters if others approve or not. Because those who matter aren't bothered. And those who're bothered don't matter or rather, they walk away ...

I've noticed that the happiest people I know are true to themselves and are surrounded by people who are comfortable with who they are and love them for it.