Have you ever been cat fished? (19)
LeahLeah10Princeton, West Virginia USA2 Threads 39 PostsIn your opinion or experience why do these people do this? What kind of people can lie and carry on with an innocent unknowing person about who they are, toying with their emotions. Could they ever be trusted if a relationship developed with this kind of dishonesty? Is it an addiction or escape?
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To some extent. Yes.
In the early days of internet dating, before webcams. I met a woman in a chat room. She sent her phone number and we began to talk on a regular basis that went on for weeks.
Requests for her photo were always answered with some excuse.
Her self description was having shoulder length hair and great figure that required daily exercise. Often she would excuse herself from the chat room to go running five miles, only to return in 10 minutes. That started my suspicions.
She claimed to have been in an issue of Playboy when she was in college. I bought that back-issue and didn't see anyone that fit her description.
She invited me several times to see her but, thankfully I didn't have the funds to fly north to meet. She took up with another guy who paid for her to see him in California.
Good thing. He was terribly let down and it was only a one-time visit.
After, it was very noticeable that he stopped chasing her in the chat room.
As questions arose, he was very diplomatic about their encounter.
Not long after, I received a photo of her via email.
The woman in the photo was probably 5'-2" with short hair and I'd guess 150 pounds.
Far from the description she had given.
Cat-fished?
I raise my hand as it was pretty naive of me to have allowed her to capture my attention for so long.
Is it an addiction or escape?
Probably both.
Very fast typist, she appeared to control the attention of the guys and girls in the chat room holding multiple conversations where others were slow to keep up.
In the early days of internet dating, before webcams. I met a woman in a chat room. She sent her phone number and we began to talk on a regular basis that went on for weeks.
Requests for her photo were always answered with some excuse.
Her self description was having shoulder length hair and great figure that required daily exercise. Often she would excuse herself from the chat room to go running five miles, only to return in 10 minutes. That started my suspicions.
She claimed to have been in an issue of Playboy when she was in college. I bought that back-issue and didn't see anyone that fit her description.
She invited me several times to see her but, thankfully I didn't have the funds to fly north to meet. She took up with another guy who paid for her to see him in California.
Good thing. He was terribly let down and it was only a one-time visit.
After, it was very noticeable that he stopped chasing her in the chat room.
As questions arose, he was very diplomatic about their encounter.
Not long after, I received a photo of her via email.
The woman in the photo was probably 5'-2" with short hair and I'd guess 150 pounds.
Far from the description she had given.
Cat-fished?
I raise my hand as it was pretty naive of me to have allowed her to capture my attention for so long.
Is it an addiction or escape?
Probably both.
Very fast typist, she appeared to control the attention of the guys and girls in the chat room holding multiple conversations where others were slow to keep up.
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LeahLeah10: In your opinion or experience why do these people do this? What kind of people can lie and carry on with an innocent unknowing person about who they are, toying with their emotions. Could they ever be trusted if a relationship developed with this kind of dishonesty? Is it an addiction or escape?
Why would anybody consider a relationship with someone they know to be dishonest? 
I wouldn't like to put a label on it, but may be the person could do with some counselling to raise their self-esteem
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Not really but I been too slow to ask for proper photos or go to cam-call,
so that it been developing a tad too far without proper wood knocking.
so that it been developing a tad too far without proper wood knocking.
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Grandsiozzie: Not really but I been too slow to ask for proper photos or go to cam-call,
so that it been developing a tad too far without proper wood knocking.
so that it been developing a tad too far without proper wood knocking.
My fault basically. Getting better at it.
I had one recently who had up a 25year old photo and stupid me though that photo was her now
..hey it was a bit far away picture...alright...
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Grandsiozzie: Not really but I been too slow to ask for proper photos or go to cam-call,
so that it been developing a tad too far without proper wood knocking.
What I used to find annoying was when men had no photo but wouldn't accept to put one on their profile so that I'd have to give them my email address to see what they look like and if I refused they accused me of may be having "false photos" on my profile!! so that it been developing a tad too far without proper wood knocking.
But yeah!! becoming a bit too fond of someone without having a clue who they really are is probably not so healthy
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Grandsiozzie: My fault basically. Getting better at it.
I had one recently who had up a 25year old photo and stupid me though that photo was her now
..hey it was a bit far away picture...alright...
Well one would assume the photo on the profile is a recent one. I had one recently who had up a 25year old photo and stupid me though that photo was her now
..hey it was a bit far away picture...alright...
I don't think you're stupid. I think she was deceiving ...
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Selenite: Why would anybody consider a relationship with someone they know to be dishonest?
I wouldn't like to put a label on it, but may be the person could do with some counselling to raise their self-esteem
Have you ever been manipulated? I wouldn't like to put a label on it, but may be the person could do with some counselling to raise their self-esteem
I once met a man on a dating site. He only had one photo, which is a red flag but I didn't think of it at the time. He sent me songs, and each one seemed to speak to my heart. He even sent me a couple Bible verses. There was a depth to it, and I was falling for him. But he also determined the times we would chat and I waited sometimes for him to reply to my messages. He was often silent and didn't reveal a lot about himself. But he did tell me he was divorced. I was very hurt when I finally found out he was married, and ended it. But there are some very good manipulators that get lots of money from their victims. I suppose it can happen as easily as people developing feelings and calling it love, on line. Do you think people can fall in love with someone they have never met before? Lets just say it happens, everyone is not so guaranteed from being vulnerable and being manipulated by skilled manipulators. Weather they need therapy or not is for them to decide.
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Leah (I know you did not ask me but I say something anyway, based on my own personal experience) You can deffo fall for person that you never met based on photos and comm!
I have more than once been captivated and ready. Absolutely.
However... when meeting on cam with full motion picture and sound and the whole nine yards... it may change some...
I recommend video calls as early on as possible.
I have more than once been captivated and ready. Absolutely.
However... when meeting on cam with full motion picture and sound and the whole nine yards... it may change some...
I recommend video calls as early on as possible.
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Grandsiozzie: Leah (I know you did not ask me but I say something anyway, based on my own personal experience) You can deffo fall for person that you never met based on photos and comm!
I have more than once been captivated and ready. Absolutely.
However... when meeting on cam with full motion picture and sound and the whole nine yards... it may change some...
I recommend video calls as early on as possible.
Of course, Grand, now I know. But it is still happening often, they can make a show about it. Besides all the scammers that rip people off of hundreds of thousands. There are the insecure who like the attention of being someone else. I have watched on cat fish where they have started off with dishonesty and still tried to convince the person on the other end when they met that their feelings were true. I say don't believe them, it says a lot about their character that they can lie right from the start.I have more than once been captivated and ready. Absolutely.
However... when meeting on cam with full motion picture and sound and the whole nine yards... it may change some...
I recommend video calls as early on as possible.
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LeahLeah10: Have you ever been manipulated?
I once met a man on a dating site. He only had one photo, which is a red flag but I didn't think of it at the time. He sent me songs, and each one seemed to speak to my heart. He even sent me a couple Bible verses. There was a depth to it, and I was falling for him. But he also determined the times we would chat and I waited sometimes for him to reply to my messages. He was often silent and didn't reveal a lot about himself. But he did tell me he was divorced. I was very hurt when I finally found out he was married, and ended it. But there are some very good manipulators that get lots of money from their victims. I suppose it can happen as easily as people developing feelings and calling it love, on line. Do you think people can fall in love with someone they have never met before? Lets just say it happens, everyone is not so guaranteed from being vulnerable and being manipulated by skilled manipulators. Weather they need therapy or not is for them to decide.
Just to clarify, my comment about therapy was about knowing that someone is dishonest and allowing the relationship to continue developing ... not about someone who doesn't realise they're being lied to ... I once met a man on a dating site. He only had one photo, which is a red flag but I didn't think of it at the time. He sent me songs, and each one seemed to speak to my heart. He even sent me a couple Bible verses. There was a depth to it, and I was falling for him. But he also determined the times we would chat and I waited sometimes for him to reply to my messages. He was often silent and didn't reveal a lot about himself. But he did tell me he was divorced. I was very hurt when I finally found out he was married, and ended it. But there are some very good manipulators that get lots of money from their victims. I suppose it can happen as easily as people developing feelings and calling it love, on line. Do you think people can fall in love with someone they have never met before? Lets just say it happens, everyone is not so guaranteed from being vulnerable and being manipulated by skilled manipulators. Weather they need therapy or not is for them to decide.
I think we should listen to our intuition and notice those those things that don't add up. Because if things feel like they don't add up, or we feel uncomfortable then it's for a reason...
Sorry you were so hurt
Many years ago, I was chatting for a very long time (sometimes for hours) with a guy who said he was separated. He used to travel a lot for business and was very fond of his dog who was a beautiful animal. I suddenly realised that he never talked about putting his dog in kennels or organising dog sitter etc... And it dawn on me that he was probably not separated. So on our next conversation I asked him: "Does your wife know that you're separated?"
There was a long pause and then blah blah blah the story, my wife does not understand me blah blah blah 
It was quite comical really!! Thankfully we had never met!!We used to get on quite well so we carried on chatting for a while till it petered out naturally...
I think it is possible to fall for someone you haven't met face to face yet and hopefully it happens between people who are both honest with one another ...
Something that people should probably not do is send money to anyone they've met online. Easy to say when not in the middle of a "love story" ...
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I could have, I'm not sure. I would enjoy being someone else for an hour just to know how life is experienced by people different to me, but it's the weeks and months where you're seriously in there with someone using a fake identity. How could you lie like that? Make someone care about a compete fabrication
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ChesneyChrist: I could have, I'm not sure. I would enjoy being someone else for an hour just to know how life is experienced by people different to me, but it's the weeks and months where you're seriously in there with someone using a fake identity. How could you lie like that? Make someone care about a compete fabrication
When does good old fashioned pretending to be somebody else become catfishing? When you've got to know them a bit and it's supposed to be one genuine person talking to another genuine person as opposed to the company of actors you get at the start.------ This thread is Archived ------
Attempts been made a few times, but it takes two to the tango. If you ask yourself a few questions: like why this wonderful (according to them) person cannot meet someone in the place of their residence? The answer might be that they are not so wonderful after all. Or why are there discrepancies in their own narrative? The answer might be that the narrative isn’t their own, but a copy-pasting job.
I don’t know what kind of people do that and why, but suspect that they expect some kind of reward, monetary would be most obvious. If you don’t play their game, you can’t be scammed.
I don’t know what kind of people do that and why, but suspect that they expect some kind of reward, monetary would be most obvious. If you don’t play their game, you can’t be scammed.
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Most scammer are teenage boys in West Africa.
They have not yet got any consequence thinking.
If you want a young black man, Gambia is the place.
it's common with white women living there with much younger men in serious relationships. Well as serious it can be as long as you have some money and can buy or build a house.
They have not yet got any consequence thinking.
If you want a young black man, Gambia is the place.
it's common with white women living there with much younger men in serious relationships. Well as serious it can be as long as you have some money and can buy or build a house.
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LeahLeah10: In your opinion or experience why do these people do this? What kind of people can lie and carry on with an innocent unknowing person about who they are, toying with their emotions. Could they ever be trusted if a relationship developed with this kind of dishonesty? Is it an addiction or escape?
They could care less about the damage they do and they will put in the work to gain your trust them. Their profile pics are fake and you can catch on due to the way they talk or texts, poor grammar.My ex-husband was talking for months to who is thought was genuine for 3 months
and then they decided she would make the trip to meet him. She called and had excuse after excuse when she was supposedly at an airport, then she was is jail and needes $500 to complete and he sent it to her. Of course she never arrived and immediately deleted her profile and that was that. For all he knew, he could've been communicating with a woman. Also, the cat-fishers cannot be traced in most cases.------ This thread is Archived ------
I have a cat & I have fished , but I’ve never combined the 2 .
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I had some catfish last week, deep fried in breadcrumbs and served with a garlic aoli dipping sauce. Tasty!
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Selenite: Why would anybody consider a relationship with someone they know to be dishonest?
I wouldn't like to put a label on it, but may be the person could do with some counselling to raise their self-esteem
I met someone from a dating site a few years ago. He was in Orihuella and me in Torrevieja so not that far away. He was a Radio Presenter. It lasted 3 years. Things happen and it didn't work out. He still uses a photo from years ago from before I even met him. He'll be 70 now but his photo is from way back when he was in his 50's.I wouldn't like to put a label on it, but may be the person could do with some counselling to raise their self-esteem
I've know my friend in America since 2002. Not through a dating site. Just as a genuine friend on another site which was just all Music. I went over there in 2013 just for 2 weeks. "Long Story" I was going to stay in one of the Motels but he lives down in the woods and has 4 bedrooms so he just wanted me to stay at his. He was and still is a true gentleman. We talk most nights on Viber. I've lived in America for 3 months at a time until this "Virus" put paid to it
Plus me having to move back to the Uk from Spain. This guy has been my "rock" through thick and thin. Yes! he's American and I love him to bits
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