~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~ (68)

May 1, 2022 10:59 AM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
The following paragraph is an excerpt from 'A Course in Miracles' which tells us why so many interpersonal relationships fail, in that they are not truly about love at all, but about getting a perceived lack, filled and refilled out of fear. Ego is the puppet master of these unholy relationships.

"Speaking about the ego’s version of ambivalent love it aptly states, “we seek in others what we feel is wanting in ourselves. We ‘love’ another in order to get something ourselves. That, in fact, is what passes for love in the dream world (this world). There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything."

I feel that this is specifically and unalterably correct. How do you feel about above statement?

What do you think true love is and how does one attain it with another person? hug
May 1, 2022 11:12 AM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
ChesneyChristonline now!
ChesneyChristonline now!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK11,226 Posts
To be really good when everybody believes you're a monster. A persecuted heart of gold. But I think that being good when there's nothing to be got by it is more achievable. Short of being hated people simply don't know what a beautiful man you are.
May 1, 2022 11:24 AM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
BB_snickers: The following paragraph is an excerpt from 'A Course in Miracles' which tells us why so many interpersonal relationships fail, in that they are not truly about love at all, but about getting a perceived lack, filled and refilled out of fear. Ego is the puppet master of these unholy relationships.

"Speaking about the ego’s version of ambivalent love it aptly states, “we seek in others what we feel is wanting in ourselves. We ‘love’ another in order to get something ourselves. That, in fact, is what passes for love in the dream world (this world). There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything."

I feel that this is specifically and unalterably correct. How do you feel about above statement?

What do you think true love is and how does one attain it with another person?
First of all, what is love? Certainly it differs with so many people. Coupled with differences in cultures, beliefs and needs, love while it's universal in nature, regard, feelings, logic and perceptions, define what love is. Then add circumstances a person is in, then love can be as convoluted as anything else.

To me whatever joys, happiness and sll that's positive between two people loving each other is love. Love not asking anything? While that seems so poetic, doesn't quite settle in my thoughts about love. Love begets love. I feel love whether I am with someone or not.
May 1, 2022 11:35 AM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
ChesneyChrist: To be really good when everybody believes you're a monster. A persecuted heart of gold. But I think that being good when there's nothing to be got by it is more achievable. Short of being hated people simply don't know what a beautiful man you are.
To be sure of what you mean Ches, what are you referring to in saying "being good". Is this compassion or genuinely caring of others or just maintaining a self notion of goodness?
May 1, 2022 11:39 AM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
ChesneyChristonline now!
ChesneyChristonline now!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK11,226 Posts
True love is basically a world for two where you rather f*ck the whole world off than forsake a significant other. And the opposite of love is indifference, social media, the type to sell your own mum for a blip of approval from those who don't know you at all.
May 1, 2022 11:41 AM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
lindsyjones: First of all, what is love? Certainly it differs with so many people. Coupled with differences in cultures, beliefs and needs, love while it's universal in nature, regard, feelings, logic and perceptions, define what love is. Then add circumstances a person is in, then love can be as convoluted as anything else.

To me whatever joys, happiness and sll that's positive between two people loving each other is love. Love not asking anything? While that seems so poetic, doesn't quite settle in my thoughts about love. Love begets love. I feel love whether I am with someone or not.
Thanks lindsy. The beginning of your reply pretty much encompasses what the ego thinks is love but then; and I'm sure you realize that there is a contradiction in your statements of 'love does not ask for anything' and 'I feel love whether I am with someone or not' . smile

And wouldn't this be where real love is? "I feel love". Only when we add ego's ideas and wants does the responsibility get put on another.
May 1, 2022 11:46 AM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
ChesneyChrist: True love is basically a world for two where you rather f*ck the whole world off than forsake a significant other. And the opposite of love is indifference, social media, the type to sell your own mum for a blip of approval from those who don't know you at all.
wow I know this as the romanticized Hollywood notion of love but it has possibility depending on the goal of being together and or the reason for f*cking the world off, me thinks.

Personally I think the opposite of love is fear since it rules so much of what we do and why we don't really love unselfishly.
May 1, 2022 12:08 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
bodleing2online today!
bodleing2online today!bodleing2Manchester, Greater Manchester, England UK81 Threads 6,717 Posts
As love is not an external energy it cannot be attained or aquired. That truth escapes us as we search for love, it ensures we will always fail. The association with love and romance only serves to strengthen the myth that love is something we can find outside ourselves...
to be aquired. This association teaches us that love is only possible when we find the right person....the 'one.'
The illusion is, that when found they will be the true source of love and our search is over....life is saved....Hallelujah!!!!
In reality, this will keep us looking in the wrong direction, outside and away from our self. Love is within us, it always is and it always was. We cant find what we already have.
May 1, 2022 12:08 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
ChesneyChristonline now!
ChesneyChristonline now!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK11,226 Posts
A world for two but not the only two. The person has your undivided attention but that person is not always the same person. One at a time. Any person could be your main focus of attention just not every person right now like you were having a heart to heart across the town square through a megaphone.
May 1, 2022 12:09 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
BB_snickers: Thanks lindsy. The beginning of your reply pretty much encompasses what the ego thinks is love but then; and I'm sure you realize that there is a contradiction in your statements of 'love does not ask for anything' and 'I feel love whether I am with someone or not' .

And wouldn't this be where real love is? "I feel love". Only when we add ego's ideas and wants does the responsibility get put on another.
I'm not sure if it's contadicting anything. But what I meant is that love is a very different if not difficult to measure because of so many variables. When I said I feel loved even if I am loved by others or simply by myself. I certainly don't prefer the latter. I do know what a glorious feelings there is when someone loves you and you get fulfilled in many ways. Love is not as simple as holding hands, talks about sweet nothings, no.

Either way. Love not asking anything is , like I said a most ideal thought. In a world so torn with cruelty and hatred, I wish love always prevail and eliminate all negative aspects of life. wave
May 1, 2022 12:15 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
BB_snickers: The following paragraph is an excerpt from 'A Course in Miracles' which tells us why so many interpersonal relationships fail, in that they are not truly about love at all, but about getting a perceived lack, filled and refilled out of fear. Ego is the puppet master of these unholy relationships.

"Speaking about the ego’s version of ambivalent love it aptly states, “we seek in others what we feel is wanting in ourselves. We ‘love’ another in order to get something ourselves. That, in fact, is what passes for love in the dream world (this world). There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything."

I feel that this is specifically and unalterably correct. How do you feel about above statement?

What do you think true love is and how does one attain it with another person?
Hi BB...wave

I've never read the book, but I have a similar philosophy.

I agree with the above statement "seeking in others what we lack of in ourselves".

I think that "true" love is unconditional.
One should be able to give without expecting anything in return.

Many have pets to fulfill their lack of love.
May 1, 2022 12:20 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
bodleing2:
. Love is within us, it always is and it always was. We cant find what we already have.
Very true! Hi Bod wave
May 1, 2022 12:26 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
ChesneyChrist: A world for two but not the only two. The person has your undivided attention but that person is not always the same person. One at a time. Any person could be your main focus of attention just not every person right now like you were having a heart to heart across the town square through a megaphone.
Oh, ok I understand now.
This is a much better assessment imo, though I think that implying that it can only be one person at a time isn't necessarily how it can work. head banger
May 1, 2022 12:27 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
bodleing2: As love is not an external energy it cannot be attained or aquired. That truth escapes us as we search for love, it ensures we will always fail. The association with love and romance only serves to strengthen the myth that love is something we can find outside ourselves...
to be aquired. This association teaches us that love is only possible when we find the right person....the 'one.'
The illusion is, that when found they will be the true source of love and our search is over....life is saved....Hallelujah!!!!
In reality, this will keep us looking in the wrong direction, outside and away from our self. Love is within us, it always is and it always was. We cant find what we already have.
Exactly!
If one looks for something it means they lack it...
The need isn't the moving force of love...
If you don't have it you will never find it...
Ego is what makes us searching our own boundaries and forces, the knowledge of ourselves and the matters of the Universe.
Ego is the meaning of what we are and what we can become...
May 1, 2022 12:27 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
bodleing2: As love is not an external energy it cannot be attained or aquired. That truth escapes us as we search for love, it ensures we will always fail. The association with love and romance only serves to strengthen the myth that love is something we can find outside ourselves...
to be aquired. This association teaches us that love is only possible when we find the right person....the 'one.'
The illusion is, that when found they will be the true source of love and our search is over....life is saved....Hallelujah!!!!
In reality, this will keep us looking in the wrong direction, outside and away from our self. Love is within us, it always is and it always was. We cant find what we already have.
On the mark again Bod. So for you what is the purpose of real love and connecting with other people. wave
May 1, 2022 12:35 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
lindsyjones: I'm not sure if it's contadicting anything. But what I meant is that love is a very different if not difficult to measure because of so many variables. When I said I feel loved even if I am loved by others or simply by myself. I certainly don't prefer the latter. I do know what a glorious feelings there is when someone loves you and you get fulfilled in many ways. Love is not as simple as holding hands, talks about sweet nothings, no.

Either way. Love not asking anything is , like I said a most ideal thought. In a world so torn with cruelty and hatred, I wish love always prevail and eliminate all negative aspects of life.
Yeah, I understand lindsy what you are saying. What I was saying is that one of those things is true. The other is not, hence the contradiction. I think your heart and your spirit know truth but the ego wants what it wants so it tries to hide behind something saying that it's better for you to have something for love, when it really may not be. dunno Love knows that giving is receiving and yes as you say for most of us it's just an ideal. sad flower

What stops you specifically from applying love as you say instead of the cruelty and hatred, fighting, arguing etc.,. I mean it starts for us all, at home yeah?
May 1, 2022 12:38 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
Ten_of_cupss: Exactly!
If one looks for something it means they lack it...
The need isn't the moving force of love...
If you don't have it you will never find it...
Ego is what makes us searching our own boundaries and forces, the knowledge of ourselves and the matters of the Universe.
Ego is the meaning of what we are and what we can become...
I have to disagree with that.. I have lots of love, but also looking for some..wink
May 1, 2022 12:39 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
d4nI314: Hi BB...

I've never read the book, but I have a similar philosophy.

I agree with the above statement "seeking in others what we lack of in ourselves".

I think that "true" love is unconditional.
One should be able to give without expecting anything in return.

Many have pets to fulfill their lack of love.
Hi Dani,

What does unconditional mean to you. And what would be required to invoke unconditional love from you Dani? In general of course.

I think some may have pets for other reasons. For example, knowing that pets are in their own stage of growth/enlightenment they have them to assist in that process. I expect this is a small crowd but still they exist.
May 1, 2022 12:41 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
Name_Taken_Two: I have to disagree with that.. I have lots of love, but also looking for some..
You look for someone to share what you have, Dino...
May 1, 2022 12:45 PM CST ~Love is Incapable of Asking For Anything~
Ten_of_cupss: Exactly!
If one looks for something it means they lack it...
Probably true and hard to deny. hmmm

Ten_of_cupss: The need isn't the moving force of love...
I think we are all searching ToC. What drives that search is a desire me thinks. confused

Ten_of_cupss:
Ego is what makes us searching our own boundaries and forces, the knowledge of ourselves and the matters of the Universe.
Ego is the meaning of what we are and what we can become...
I think love does this and that ego sets boundaries and limits, thus discouraging us from searching beyond our perceived boundaries.
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