The following paragraph is an excerpt from 'A Course in Miracles' which tells us why so many interpersonal relationships fail, in that they are not truly about love at all, but about getting a perceived lack, filled and refilled out of fear. Ego is the puppet master of these unholy relationships.
"Speaking about the ego’s version of ambivalent love it aptly states, “we seek in others what we feel is wanting in ourselves. We ‘love’ another in order to get something ourselves. That, in fact, is what passes for love in the dream world (this world). There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything."
I feel that this is specifically and unalterably correct. How do you feel about above statement?
What do you think true love is and how does one attain it with another person?
To be really good when everybody believes you're a monster. A persecuted heart of gold. But I think that being good when there's nothing to be got by it is more achievable. Short of being hated people simply don't know what a beautiful man you are.
BB_snickers: The following paragraph is an excerpt from 'A Course in Miracles' which tells us why so many interpersonal relationships fail, in that they are not truly about love at all, but about getting a perceived lack, filled and refilled out of fear. Ego is the puppet master of these unholy relationships.
"Speaking about the ego’s version of ambivalent love it aptly states, “we seek in others what we feel is wanting in ourselves. We ‘love’ another in order to get something ourselves. That, in fact, is what passes for love in the dream world (this world). There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything."
I feel that this is specifically and unalterably correct. How do you feel about above statement?
What do you think true love is and how does one attain it with another person?
First of all, what is love? Certainly it differs with so many people. Coupled with differences in cultures, beliefs and needs, love while it's universal in nature, regard, feelings, logic and perceptions, define what love is. Then add circumstances a person is in, then love can be as convoluted as anything else.
To me whatever joys, happiness and sll that's positive between two people loving each other is love. Love not asking anything? While that seems so poetic, doesn't quite settle in my thoughts about love. Love begets love. I feel love whether I am with someone or not.
ChesneyChrist: To be really good when everybody believes you're a monster. A persecuted heart of gold. But I think that being good when there's nothing to be got by it is more achievable. Short of being hated people simply don't know what a beautiful man you are.
To be sure of what you mean Ches, what are you referring to in saying "being good". Is this compassion or genuinely caring of others or just maintaining a self notion of goodness?
True love is basically a world for two where you rather f*ck the whole world off than forsake a significant other. And the opposite of love is indifference, social media, the type to sell your own mum for a blip of approval from those who don't know you at all.
lindsyjones: First of all, what is love? Certainly it differs with so many people. Coupled with differences in cultures, beliefs and needs, love while it's universal in nature, regard, feelings, logic and perceptions, define what love is. Then add circumstances a person is in, then love can be as convoluted as anything else.
To me whatever joys, happiness and sll that's positive between two people loving each other is love. Love not asking anything? While that seems so poetic, doesn't quite settle in my thoughts about love. Love begets love. I feel love whether I am with someone or not.
Thanks lindsy. The beginning of your reply pretty much encompasses what the ego thinks is love but then; and I'm sure you realize that there is a contradiction in your statements of 'love does not ask for anything' and 'I feel love whether I am with someone or not' .
And wouldn't this be where real love is? "I feel love". Only when we add ego's ideas and wants does the responsibility get put on another.
ChesneyChrist: True love is basically a world for two where you rather f*ck the whole world off than forsake a significant other. And the opposite of love is indifference, social media, the type to sell your own mum for a blip of approval from those who don't know you at all.
I know this as the romanticized Hollywood notion of love but it has possibility depending on the goal of being together and or the reason for f*cking the world off, me thinks.
Personally I think the opposite of love is fear since it rules so much of what we do and why we don't really love unselfishly.
As love is not an external energy it cannot be attained or aquired. That truth escapes us as we search for love, it ensures we will always fail. The association with love and romance only serves to strengthen the myth that love is something we can find outside ourselves... to be aquired. This association teaches us that love is only possible when we find the right person....the 'one.' The illusion is, that when found they will be the true source of love and our search is over....life is saved....Hallelujah!!!! In reality, this will keep us looking in the wrong direction, outside and away from our self. Love is within us, it always is and it always was. We cant find what we already have.
A world for two but not the only two. The person has your undivided attention but that person is not always the same person. One at a time. Any person could be your main focus of attention just not every person right now like you were having a heart to heart across the town square through a megaphone.
BB_snickers: Thanks lindsy. The beginning of your reply pretty much encompasses what the ego thinks is love but then; and I'm sure you realize that there is a contradiction in your statements of 'love does not ask for anything' and 'I feel love whether I am with someone or not' .
And wouldn't this be where real love is? "I feel love". Only when we add ego's ideas and wants does the responsibility get put on another.
I'm not sure if it's contadicting anything. But what I meant is that love is a very different if not difficult to measure because of so many variables. When I said I feel loved even if I am loved by others or simply by myself. I certainly don't prefer the latter. I do know what a glorious feelings there is when someone loves you and you get fulfilled in many ways. Love is not as simple as holding hands, talks about sweet nothings, no.
Either way. Love not asking anything is , like I said a most ideal thought. In a world so torn with cruelty and hatred, I wish love always prevail and eliminate all negative aspects of life.
BB_snickers: The following paragraph is an excerpt from 'A Course in Miracles' which tells us why so many interpersonal relationships fail, in that they are not truly about love at all, but about getting a perceived lack, filled and refilled out of fear. Ego is the puppet master of these unholy relationships.
"Speaking about the ego’s version of ambivalent love it aptly states, “we seek in others what we feel is wanting in ourselves. We ‘love’ another in order to get something ourselves. That, in fact, is what passes for love in the dream world (this world). There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything."
I feel that this is specifically and unalterably correct. How do you feel about above statement?
What do you think true love is and how does one attain it with another person?
Hi BB...
I've never read the book, but I have a similar philosophy.
I agree with the above statement "seeking in others what we lack of in ourselves".
I think that "true" love is unconditional. One should be able to give without expecting anything in return.
ChesneyChrist: A world for two but not the only two. The person has your undivided attention but that person is not always the same person. One at a time. Any person could be your main focus of attention just not every person right now like you were having a heart to heart across the town square through a megaphone.
Oh, ok I understand now. This is a much better assessment imo, though I think that implying that it can only be one person at a time isn't necessarily how it can work.
bodleing2: As love is not an external energy it cannot be attained or aquired. That truth escapes us as we search for love, it ensures we will always fail. The association with love and romance only serves to strengthen the myth that love is something we can find outside ourselves... to be aquired. This association teaches us that love is only possible when we find the right person....the 'one.' The illusion is, that when found they will be the true source of love and our search is over....life is saved....Hallelujah!!!! In reality, this will keep us looking in the wrong direction, outside and away from our self. Love is within us, it always is and it always was. We cant find what we already have.
Exactly! If one looks for something it means they lack it... The need isn't the moving force of love... If you don't have it you will never find it... Ego is what makes us searching our own boundaries and forces, the knowledge of ourselves and the matters of the Universe. Ego is the meaning of what we are and what we can become...
bodleing2: As love is not an external energy it cannot be attained or aquired. That truth escapes us as we search for love, it ensures we will always fail. The association with love and romance only serves to strengthen the myth that love is something we can find outside ourselves... to be aquired. This association teaches us that love is only possible when we find the right person....the 'one.' The illusion is, that when found they will be the true source of love and our search is over....life is saved....Hallelujah!!!! In reality, this will keep us looking in the wrong direction, outside and away from our self. Love is within us, it always is and it always was. We cant find what we already have.
On the mark again Bod. So for you what is the purpose of real love and connecting with other people.
lindsyjones: I'm not sure if it's contadicting anything. But what I meant is that love is a very different if not difficult to measure because of so many variables. When I said I feel loved even if I am loved by others or simply by myself. I certainly don't prefer the latter. I do know what a glorious feelings there is when someone loves you and you get fulfilled in many ways. Love is not as simple as holding hands, talks about sweet nothings, no.
Either way. Love not asking anything is , like I said a most ideal thought. In a world so torn with cruelty and hatred, I wish love always prevail and eliminate all negative aspects of life.
Yeah, I understand lindsy what you are saying. What I was saying is that one of those things is true. The other is not, hence the contradiction. I think your heart and your spirit know truth but the ego wants what it wants so it tries to hide behind something saying that it's better for you to have something for love, when it really may not be. Love knows that giving is receiving and yes as you say for most of us it's just an ideal.
What stops you specifically from applying love as you say instead of the cruelty and hatred, fighting, arguing etc.,. I mean it starts for us all, at home yeah?
Ten_of_cupss: Exactly! If one looks for something it means they lack it... The need isn't the moving force of love... If you don't have it you will never find it... Ego is what makes us searching our own boundaries and forces, the knowledge of ourselves and the matters of the Universe. Ego is the meaning of what we are and what we can become...
I have to disagree with that.. I have lots of love, but also looking for some..
I've never read the book, but I have a similar philosophy.
I agree with the above statement "seeking in others what we lack of in ourselves".
I think that "true" love is unconditional. One should be able to give without expecting anything in return.
Many have pets to fulfill their lack of love.
Hi Dani,
What does unconditional mean to you. And what would be required to invoke unconditional love from you Dani? In general of course.
I think some may have pets for other reasons. For example, knowing that pets are in their own stage of growth/enlightenment they have them to assist in that process. I expect this is a small crowd but still they exist.
Ten_of_cupss: Exactly! If one looks for something it means they lack it...
Probably true and hard to deny.
Ten_of_cupss: The need isn't the moving force of love...
I think we are all searching ToC. What drives that search is a desire me thinks.
Ten_of_cupss: Ego is what makes us searching our own boundaries and forces, the knowledge of ourselves and the matters of the Universe. Ego is the meaning of what we are and what we can become...
I think love does this and that ego sets boundaries and limits, thus discouraging us from searching beyond our perceived boundaries.
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"Speaking about the ego’s version of ambivalent love it aptly states, “we seek in others what we feel is wanting in ourselves. We ‘love’ another in order to get something ourselves. That, in fact, is what passes for love in the dream world (this world). There can be no greater mistake than that, for love is incapable of asking for anything."
I feel that this is specifically and unalterably correct. How do you feel about above statement?
What do you think true love is and how does one attain it with another person?