Trust or no ... (34)
BB_snickers: Trust isn't really about the other person. Like love, trust is about you.
When others do something upsetting while with us, it appears to be personal but it is really a sign that they have trust issues or they are not able to love because of how tightly they hold onto their ego's perception of safety or security.
The ego's perception is to trust no one unless they 'prove' trustworthy.
So if you've been hurt in the past do you expect them to do it again ... or just as bad do you expect other people to be untrustworthy too?
How open or closed are you or can you be with your trust and your love?
A tiger never changes it's spots. If it bites you once it will bite you again. That's the nature of the tiger. Trying to be friends with the tiger shows how desperate one is to prove that he/she can change the tiger, a/k/a people. Humans and animals have a DNA that doesn't change no matter how much you smooth over the prickly hairs on the outside.When others do something upsetting while with us, it appears to be personal but it is really a sign that they have trust issues or they are not able to love because of how tightly they hold onto their ego's perception of safety or security.
The ego's perception is to trust no one unless they 'prove' trustworthy.
So if you've been hurt in the past do you expect them to do it again ... or just as bad do you expect other people to be untrustworthy too?
How open or closed are you or can you be with your trust and your love?
Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
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secretagent09: A tiger never changes it's spots. If it bites you once it will bite you again. That's the nature of the tiger. Trying to be friends with the tiger shows how desperate one is to prove that he/she can change the tiger, a/k/a people. Humans and animals have a DNA that doesn't change no matter how much you smooth over the prickly hairs on the outside.
Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
Shame on you for thinking a tiger has spots.Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
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bodleing2: Shame on you for thinking a tiger has spots.
Leave it to you to be technical Alright, alright, it has lines
What a pretty little kitty cat
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I trust too much, so sometimes I get disappointed when it's not returned.
Some basic trust is pretty imperative to growth and happiness between people.
Some basic trust is pretty imperative to growth and happiness between people.
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That is how I imagine heaven to be by the way: full of trust.
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BB_snickers: Trust isn't really about the other person. Like love, trust is about you.
When others do something upsetting while with us, it appears to be personal but it is really a sign that they have trust issues or they are not able to love because of how tightly they hold onto their ego's perception of safety or security.
The ego's perception is to trust no one unless they 'prove' trustworthy.
So if you've been hurt in the past do you expect them to do it again ... or just as bad do you expect other people to be untrustworthy too?
How open or closed are you or can you be with your trust and your love?
I'd need a baseline here. Any chance, you are projecting your own problems out on anyone, who'd answer?When others do something upsetting while with us, it appears to be personal but it is really a sign that they have trust issues or they are not able to love because of how tightly they hold onto their ego's perception of safety or security.
The ego's perception is to trust no one unless they 'prove' trustworthy.
So if you've been hurt in the past do you expect them to do it again ... or just as bad do you expect other people to be untrustworthy too?
How open or closed are you or can you be with your trust and your love?
Trust in what? I won't lend my money to someone I don't know. Is it ego or common sense? Or, perhaps, common sense is indeed ego in your theorem?
Love is a feeling. It's a feeling you feel, that's all. I don't need to trust someone I love.
Trust is earned. Love is granted. Or experienced. Or just exists.
In the air :)
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secretagent09: A tiger never changes it's spots. If it bites you once it will bite you again. That's the nature of the tiger. Trying to be friends with the tiger shows how desperate one is to prove that he/she can change the tiger, a/k/a people. Humans and animals have a DNA that doesn't change no matter how much you smooth over the prickly hairs on the outside.
Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
Well that sounds rather final SA. Is there no chance that you could change your perception or your belief that the tiger is only being a tiger because that is how it was taught and that through some intervention one could assist the tiger with change?Fool me once shame on you
Fool me twice shame on me
I don't don't agree about DNA. I think that though ego is a kind of software running in the background of all of us, our consciousness, I think change is not only possible but inevitable to the point of guaranteed.
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secretagent09: Leave it to you to be technical
Alright, alright, it has lines
What a pretty little kitty cat
See, it has already changed from your thinking it has spots. Freudian perhaps? Alright, alright, it has lines
What a pretty little kitty cat
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Grandsiozzie: I trust too much, so sometimes I get disappointed when it's not returned.
yeah, I think that is fairly common, the disappointment. Still I think that is better than being the one that isn't trusting.
Grandsiozzie:
Some basic trust is pretty imperative to growth and happiness between people.
Very true and perhaps carries more growth and happiness when it is more than 'some' and becomes all.Some basic trust is pretty imperative to growth and happiness between people.
Grandsiozzie:
That is how I imagine heaven to be by the way: full of trust.
As do I and when you think about it, if you give trust and don't expect it from others, (cos it's not important how other people are) maybe that gets us to that heaven? That is how I imagine heaven to be by the way: full of trust.
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secretagent09: Leave it to you to be technical
Alright, alright, it has lines
What a pretty little kitty cat
The saying originally came from The Bible verse from Jeremiah 13:23 says “Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots?” Alright, alright, it has lines
What a pretty little kitty cat
It fits nicely into our perception of the human condition, not sure about the leopards spots but the human brain can certainly be re-wired.
Since neuroplasticity became fully understood fairly recently it is now known that due to the maleable nature of the brain, with the right training the brain can change more than we ever though possible. We are not hard wired as was believed.
*"Michael Merzenich is a neuroscientist who has been one of the pioneers of neuroplasticity for over three decades
Merzenich asserted that, "If the brain map could normalize its structure in response to abnormal input, the prevailing view that we are born with a hardwired system had to be wrong. The brain had to be plastic."
Merzenich received the 2016 Kavli Prize in Neuroscience "for the discovery of mechanisms that allow experience and neural activity to remodel brain function."
*wiki
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Tulefell: I'd need a baseline here. Any chance, you are projecting your own problems out on anyone, who'd answer?
I don't think so, but who knows with projection? I am by nature a pretty trusting person who will give folks more chances than you can shake a stick at, though I'm not inexhaustible. However I do not have any issues currently. I am, in fact, going through a course with material that is about trust so I thought I'd bring it here and maybe learn something from others.'
Tulefell:
Trust in what? I won't lend my money to someone I don't know. Is it ego or common sense? Or, perhaps, common sense is indeed ego in your theorem?
When it is 'lending', it is indeed ego. The ego wants or expects something back. Love trusts and gives without expectation. In fact it is the giving that is the getting for love. Pricing out your lending is certainly ego.Trust in what? I won't lend my money to someone I don't know. Is it ego or common sense? Or, perhaps, common sense is indeed ego in your theorem?
Tulefell:
Love is a feeling. It's a feeling you feel, that's all. I don't need to trust someone I love.
Well, for me love is a being and feelings are part of experiencing love or it's opposite, fear.Love is a feeling. It's a feeling you feel, that's all. I don't need to trust someone I love.
I think for most people when they love someone trust doesn't often come into question but my question is when does it or does it never come into question because I think your statement applies in a much larger sense than you imply.
Tulefell: Trust is earned. Love is granted. Or experienced. Or just exists.
In the air :)
Thanks Tulefell. Love surely does exist.In the air :)
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bodleing2: The saying originally came from The Bible verse from Jeremiah 13:23 says “Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots?”
It fits nicely into our perception of the human condition, not sure about the leopards spots but the human brain can certainly be re-wired.
Since neuroplasticity became fully understood fairly recently it is now known that due to the malleable nature of the brain, with the right training the brain can change more than we ever thought possible. We are not hard wired as was believed.
*"Michael Merzenich is a neuroscientist who has been one of the pioneers of neuroplasticity for over three decades
Merzenich asserted that, "If the brain map could normalize its structure in response to abnormal input, the prevailing view that we are born with a hardwired system had to be wrong. The brain had to be plastic."
Merzenich received the 2016 Kavli Prize in Neuroscience "for the discovery of mechanisms that allow experience and neural activity to remodel brain function."
*wiki
Are you saying that ego, or spirit is part of brain Gra? Is it the brain for you or the mind that we are discussing? The brain, our brain is indeed a human thing. I'm not sure that consciousness is only human if you know what I mean. It fits nicely into our perception of the human condition, not sure about the leopards spots but the human brain can certainly be re-wired.
Since neuroplasticity became fully understood fairly recently it is now known that due to the malleable nature of the brain, with the right training the brain can change more than we ever thought possible. We are not hard wired as was believed.
*"Michael Merzenich is a neuroscientist who has been one of the pioneers of neuroplasticity for over three decades
Merzenich asserted that, "If the brain map could normalize its structure in response to abnormal input, the prevailing view that we are born with a hardwired system had to be wrong. The brain had to be plastic."
Merzenich received the 2016 Kavli Prize in Neuroscience "for the discovery of mechanisms that allow experience and neural activity to remodel brain function."
*wiki
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BB_snickers:
I think for most people
....
What you think is relevant only for you, not for the most people. I think for most people
....
BB_snickers:
Thanks Tulefell.
Always welcome :)Thanks Tulefell.
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Tulefell: What you think is relevant only for you, not for the most people.
Always welcome :)
Always welcome :)
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bodleing2: The saying originally came from The Bible verse from Jeremiah 13:23 says “Can the Ethiopian change his skin or the leopard his spots?”
It fits nicely into our perception of the human condition, not sure about the leopards spots but the human brain can certainly be re-wired.
Since neuroplasticity became fully understood fairly recently it is now known that due to the maleable nature of the brain, with the right training the brain can change more than we ever though possible. We are not hard wired as was believed.
*"Michael Merzenich is a neuroscientist who has been one of the pioneers of neuroplasticity for over three decades
Merzenich asserted that, "If the brain map could normalize its structure in response to abnormal input, the prevailing view that we are born with a hardwired system had to be wrong. The brain had to be plastic."
Merzenich received the 2016 Kavli Prize in Neuroscience "for the discovery of mechanisms that allow experience and neural activity to remodel brain function."
*wiki
I cannot more importantly I will not change for someone just to please their ego.It fits nicely into our perception of the human condition, not sure about the leopards spots but the human brain can certainly be re-wired.
Since neuroplasticity became fully understood fairly recently it is now known that due to the maleable nature of the brain, with the right training the brain can change more than we ever though possible. We are not hard wired as was believed.
*"Michael Merzenich is a neuroscientist who has been one of the pioneers of neuroplasticity for over three decades
Merzenich asserted that, "If the brain map could normalize its structure in response to abnormal input, the prevailing view that we are born with a hardwired system had to be wrong. The brain had to be plastic."
Merzenich received the 2016 Kavli Prize in Neuroscience "for the discovery of mechanisms that allow experience and neural activity to remodel brain function."
*wiki
When you think of it, why should I change? Aren't I entitled to be me? When I was looking for a mate I looked for someone who thinks the way I do, who enjoys the same things I enjoy. All that is within reason.
I'm not in favor of science changing my brain just because others think I should so that they will be satisfied with me. If someone doesn't like me then walk away. I have enjoyed the happiness of loving someone and being loved. I'm past the point in my life where I have to please people every darn minute.
I am a simple person who enjoys a simple life even if my brain is malfunctioning
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BB_snickers: Are you saying that ego, or spirit is part of brain Gra? Is it the brain for you or the mind that we are discussing? The brain, our brain is indeed a human thing. I'm not sure that consciousness is only human if you know what I mean.
No, not saying that at all. The mind is unmanifested or empty of substance, pure luminescence. The brain is manifested and conditioned, (spots.) The 'spots' respond to stimulus, the response is not fixed but subject to mind. The ego's job is security, self presevation, scan the past for clues and create the best path for the future.This is where 'transactional trust' comes in where we are counting on a future result to occur. It's an emotional view of past and future and largely performance based measured by outcome. We use this kind of trust every day to navigate our way through life.
The other form of trust, 'innate trust' which I think you are talking about, is based on living in the moment trusting that living to your values, even in difficult and testing situations, your life will unfold with greater meaning and harmonious outcomes. In surrendering to innate trust, being in the eternal now allows you to concentrate on being present in this very moment. Innate trust allows us to let life be.
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secretagent09: I like your explanation because I can understand it better than Bode's (no offense Bodeman )
At this late stage of my life I've learned that you cannot know if someone will give you unconditional love until you have been in their environment for a long time. An environment that will show how they react to ups and downs. So you are correct BJ.... I mean BB in that we make choices. A fear choice where we take a chance or a love choice where we give the benefit of doubt that love will appear.
For my own sanity, I choose to not try to find love again. The last time I did I found it on here and it was one-sided because it wasn't honest from the start.
And ya know what, I'm fine loving myself and my family.
Yeah, I think this is understandable and kind of common really. Once we get hurt we become a little more suspicious of relating to others openly. I think this means that we and others are carrying around an ego idea or let's say a fear that is leading us to withdraw at the first sign of danger as decided by ego, rather than engage with trust. At this late stage of my life I've learned that you cannot know if someone will give you unconditional love until you have been in their environment for a long time. An environment that will show how they react to ups and downs. So you are correct BJ.... I mean BB in that we make choices. A fear choice where we take a chance or a love choice where we give the benefit of doubt that love will appear.
For my own sanity, I choose to not try to find love again. The last time I did I found it on here and it was one-sided because it wasn't honest from the start.
And ya know what, I'm fine loving myself and my family.
I think there is a difference in applying a fear based idea or a more neutral wisdom of discernment.
However I agree that the larger majority of people operate from an ego idea which is to get what you want without being open and don't trust anyone, which translates to don't love anyone. I believe that trust and love are both 'giving things' rather than 'get things' or to search for outside of us.
Of course, loving one's self is basic and necessary in order to really see it in others, so being fine with self love is a great beginning.
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Exceptions exist for a police officer and a politician, a bouncer or a kingpin, I would just prefer to trust people who trust because they know that it's all worthwhile. Not being guarded and gossipy makes life more worth living
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When others do something upsetting while with us, it appears to be personal but it is really a sign that they have trust issues or they are not able to love because of how tightly they hold onto their ego's perception of safety or security.
The ego's perception is to trust no one unless they 'prove' trustworthy.
So if you've been hurt in the past do you expect them to do it again ... or just as bad do you expect other people to be untrustworthy too?
How open or closed are you or can you be with your trust and your love?