Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ... (54)

Jun 11, 2022 8:39 AM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago49 Threads 23 Polls 820 Posts
Rebecca Moon
Fri, June 10, 2022, 8:14 PM·2 min read
After a paternity test revealed that all three of his daughters were not his biological children, a 45-year-old Chinese man is seeking a divorce from his wife of 16 years.

The man, surnamed Chen from Jiangxi Province in eastern China, began having suspicions about his wife, surnamed Yu, last year. While Chen was working in another city to support his family, he and his wife initially called regularly until she began to avoid him and explained that she wanted to work away from home, reported South China Morning Post.

On March 1, Chen managed to track Yu to a hotel in eastern China where he witnessed his wife checking out with another man. Although he forgave her, he later decided to do a paternity test and discovered that none of the three girls he had been raising were his biological children.

“None of them my own child,” Chen told Jiangxi Radio and TV Station.

After the revelation, Yu disappeared and is now untraceable. Chen has been reaching out to local media outlets asking for help in tracking down his wife. A TV station managed to contact Yu over the phone, and when asked about the situation, she responded that she did not cheat on her husband and that biological paternity is not important. Yu also criticized her husband for seeking a divorce.

“Couples who are sterile adopt kids all the time,” Yu told the news outlet. “Please try to empathize with me. The three children called him ‘dad’ for many years, but now he says the daughters are not his own. What is the difference between him and an animal?”

A lawyer, surnamed Yu, told Jiangxi Radio and TV Station that Chen is fully capable of divorcing Yu if he believes that her actions “severely harmed their relationship.”

“When he applies for a divorce, not only would the law encourage him to ask his wife to reimburse support payments and other expenses he paid for the three children, but he could also seek damages for psychological suffering,” Yu was quoted as telling the news outlet.


Is he justified in asking for a divorce? Can he sue her for mental and emotional distress? If this had been you, what would you do?hmmm
Jun 11, 2022 8:46 AM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
ChesneyChristonline now!
ChesneyChristonline now!ChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK11,226 Posts
Didi7: Rebecca Moon
Fri, June 10, 2022, 8:14 PM·2 min read
After a paternity test revealed that all three of his daughters were not his biological children, a 45-year-old Chinese man is seeking a divorce from his wife of 16 years.

The man, surnamed Chen from Jiangxi Province in eastern China, began having suspicions about his wife, surnamed Yu, last year. While Chen was working in another city to support his family, he and his wife initially called regularly until she began to avoid him and explained that she wanted to work away from home, reported South China Morning Post.

On March 1, Chen managed to track Yu to a hotel in eastern China where he witnessed his wife checking out with another man. Although he forgave her, he later decided to do a paternity test and discovered that none of the three girls he had been raising were his biological children.

“None of them my own child,” Chen told Jiangxi Radio and TV Station.

After the revelation, Yu disappeared and is now untraceable. Chen has been reaching out to local media outlets asking for help in tracking down his wife. A TV station managed to contact Yu over the phone, and when asked about the situation, she responded that she did not cheat on her husband and that biological paternity is not important. Yu also criticized her husband for seeking a divorce.

“Couples who are sterile adopt kids all the time,” Yu told the news outlet. “Please try to empathize with me. The three children called him ‘dad’ for many years, but now he says the daughters are not his own. What is the difference between him and an animal?”

A lawyer, surnamed Yu, told Jiangxi Radio and TV Station that Chen is fully capable of divorcing Yu if he believes that her actions “severely harmed their relationship.”

“When he applies for a divorce, not only would the law encourage him to ask his wife to reimburse support payments and other expenses he paid for the three children, but he could also seek damages for psychological suffering,” Yu was quoted as telling the news outlet.


Is he justified in asking for a divorce? Can he sue her for mental and emotional distress? If this had been you, what would you do?
Yes
Hope not
Get a divorce/smack her over the head with a shovel
Jun 11, 2022 9:09 AM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago49 Threads 23 Polls 820 Posts
"...smack her over the head with a shovel"

laugh I'm only laughing 'cause I think you MUST be joking CC...grin
Jun 11, 2022 10:10 AM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
I would leave (divorce) but give the girls my number in case they wanna reach me as adults.
Try to take the kids with me I can forget as they are not mine.

What would you do Didi?
Jun 11, 2022 10:22 AM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Didi7: Rebecca Moon
Fri, June 10, 2022, 8:14 PM·2 min read
After a paternity test revealed that all three of his daughters were not his biological children, a 45-year-old Chinese man is seeking a divorce from his wife of 16 years.

The man, surnamed Chen from Jiangxi Province in eastern China, began having suspicions about his wife, surnamed Yu, last year. While Chen was working in another city to support his family, he and his wife initially called regularly until she began to avoid him and explained that she wanted to work away from home, reported South China Morning Post.

On March 1, Chen managed to track Yu to a hotel in eastern China where he witnessed his wife checking out with another man. Although he forgave her, he later decided to do a paternity test and discovered that none of the three girls he had been raising were his biological children.

“None of them my own child,” Chen told Jiangxi Radio and TV Station.

After the revelation, Yu disappeared and is now untraceable. Chen has been reaching out to local media outlets asking for help in tracking down his wife. A TV station managed to contact Yu over the phone, and when asked about the situation, she responded that she did not cheat on her husband and that biological paternity is not important. Yu also criticized her husband for seeking a divorce.

“Couples who are sterile adopt kids all the time,” Yu told the news outlet. “Please try to empathize with me. The three children called him ‘dad’ for many years, but now he says the daughters are not his own. What is the difference between him and an animal?”

A lawyer, surnamed Yu, told Jiangxi Radio and TV Station that Chen is fully capable of divorcing Yu if he believes that her actions “severely harmed their relationship.”

“When he applies for a divorce, not only would the law encourage him to ask his wife to reimburse support payments and other expenses he paid for the three children, but he could also seek damages for psychological suffering,” Yu was quoted as telling the news outlet.


Is he justified in asking for a divorce? Can he sue her for mental and emotional distress? If this had been you, what would you do?
I would sue for fraud as well as mental and emotional distress. It is one thing to still love yu's children but If mr chen really wanted his own biological family, he has been denied that and it is doubtful he can do it at his age now. Maybe he can have his own children now but it is always easier to raise children when we are younger.
Jun 11, 2022 12:15 PM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Kind of like this version of Carmen... laugh
Jun 11, 2022 12:29 PM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago49 Threads 23 Polls 820 Posts
Grandsiozzie: I would leave (divorce) but give the girls my number in case they wanna reach me as adults.
Try to take the kids with me I can forget as they are not mine.

What would you do Didi?
It's hard to know exactly what caused her to deceive her husband in that manner, but I believe that she is wrong. If I were him, I would be very hurt and embarrassed, and would have serious doubts about the entire relationship. What else has she said or done to deceive me? Are our finances also being tampered with? Is she living a double life/married to the man I saw her with? What if.....?

The safest thing to do would be to leave, seek a divorce and sue for whatever I think I may be owed, and lastly (if she agreed to it) offer to stay in contact with the children but only until they are old enough to understand why I left the family. The choice would be theirs if they want to continue to have a relationship with me after that, though not as their father.sad


I wonder if the girls knew? If not, then I wonder how they'd feel if they found out what their mother has done?hmmm
Jun 11, 2022 12:30 PM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago49 Threads 23 Polls 820 Posts
galrads: I would sue for fraud as well as mental and emotional distress. It is one thing to still love yu's children but If mr chen really wanted his own biological family, he has been denied that and it is doubtful he can do it at his age now. Maybe he can have his own children now but it is always easier to raise children when we are younger.
I agree...
Jun 11, 2022 2:38 PM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Didi7: Rebecca Moon
Fri, June 10, 2022, 8:14 PM·2 min read
After a paternity test revealed that all three of his daughters were not his biological children, a 45-year-old Chinese man is seeking a divorce from his wife of 16 years.

The man, surnamed Chen from Jiangxi Province in eastern China, began having suspicions about his wife, surnamed Yu, last year. While Chen was working in another city to support his family, he and his wife initially called regularly until she began to avoid him and explained that she wanted to work away from home, reported South China Morning Post.

On March 1, Chen managed to track Yu to a hotel in eastern China where he witnessed his wife checking out with another man. Although he forgave her, he later decided to do a paternity test and discovered that none of the three girls he had been raising were his biological children.

“None of them my own child,” Chen told Jiangxi Radio and TV Station.

After the revelation, Yu disappeared and is now untraceable. Chen has been reaching out to local media outlets asking for help in tracking down his wife. A TV station managed to contact Yu over the phone, and when asked about the situation, she responded that she did not cheat on her husband and that biological paternity is not important. Yu also criticized her husband for seeking a divorce.

“Couples who are sterile adopt kids all the time,” Yu told the news outlet. “Please try to empathize with me. The three children called him ‘dad’ for many years, but now he says the daughters are not his own. What is the difference between him and an animal?”

A lawyer, surnamed Yu, told Jiangxi Radio and TV Station that Chen is fully capable of divorcing Yu if he believes that her actions “severely harmed their relationship.”

“When he applies for a divorce, not only would the law encourage him to ask his wife to reimburse support payments and other expenses he paid for the three children, but he could also seek damages for psychological suffering,” Yu was quoted as telling the news outlet.


Is he justified in asking for a divorce? Can he sue her for mental and emotional distress? If this had been you, what would you do?
The man sound like a total moron as far as I’m concerned.
Any man who witnessed his wife having an affair & is willing to forgive her , deserves to be humiliated.
Jun 11, 2022 2:50 PM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Youcannow: The man sound like a total moron as far as I’m concerned.
Any man who witnessed his wife having an affair & is willing to forgive her , deserves to be humiliated.
He loves her and that's why he forgave her. I would never forgive someone for cheating on me but his country has different values than mine the way he was raised.

I don't know how old the children are but I suspect they will stay with the mother after the divorce. If he tries to avoid paying child support the children will feel the wrath of that.

The children called him dad for many years. They know him as their father. A bond of love has grown between them so I don't think it matters as much to the children as it does to the father that they are not his biological children.

If she was sleeping around there might be more than one biological father. When they grow up they might search for those men because people have the need to belong to someone. If they find him they might be disappointed. I was when I found mine.
Jun 11, 2022 2:59 PM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
secretagent09: He loves her and that's why he forgave her. I would never forgive someone for cheating on me but his country has different values than mine the way he was raised.

I don't know how old the children are but I suspect they will stay with the mother after the divorce. If he tries to avoid paying child support the children will feel the wrath of that.

The children called him dad for many years. They know him as their father. A bond of love has grown between them so I don't think it matters as much to the children as it does to the father that they are not his biological children.

If she was sleeping around there might be more than one biological father. When they grow up they might search for those men because people have the need to belong to someone. If they find him they might be disappointed. I was when I found mine.
I disagree .
Chinese men are less likely to forgive than western men .
He may be a “one off” , I don’t know .
Maybe he knew , or had his suspicions, but any man , or woman who has any respect , or dignity, would walk away from that kind of toxic relationship.
Anyway, the woman shows no remorse for her actions
Jun 11, 2022 9:26 PM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
jac_the_gripper
jac_the_gripperjac_the_gripperTonyrefail, South Glamorgan, Wales UK29 Threads 8,359 Posts
Imagine a scenario where Chen is infertile.

To save Chen from shame, Ju becomes pregnant by another man, or men in secret, or arranges some kind of fertility treatment in secret. The process is horrible, but Yu is prepared to be humiliated herself, rather than have the man she loves humiliated by the knowledge of his infertility.

They have three daughters whom Chen loves as any father would love his own daughters, but Ju is partially discovered when trying to conceive for a fourth time, maybe in hope of a son to complete her husband's family and personal pride.

Now read Didi's original post again. Is it appropriate for Chen to shame his wife, reject her and his three (blameless) daughters and make them suffer financial hardship to save his own face?

Is it appropriate to make assumptions about Ju's behaviour, when we only have a couple of pieces of the story from Chen's perspective?

Or can't we get past thinking that everyone, especially women (the originators of sin), always have selfish, evil intentions in everything they do?
Jun 11, 2022 10:52 PM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago49 Threads 23 Polls 820 Posts
jac_the_gripper: Imagine a scenario where Chen is infertile.

To save Chen from shame, Ju becomes pregnant by another man, or men in secret, or arranges some kind of fertility treatment in secret. The process is horrible, but Yu is prepared to be humiliated herself, rather than have the man she loves humiliated by the knowledge of his infertility.

They have three daughters whom Chen loves as any father would love his own daughters, but Ju is partially discovered when trying to conceive for a fourth time, maybe in hope of a son to complete her husband's family and personal pride.

Now read Didi's original post again. Is it appropriate for Chen to shame his wife, reject her and his three (blameless) daughters and make them suffer financial hardship to save his own face?

Is it appropriate to make assumptions about Ju's behaviour, when we only have a couple of pieces of the story from Chen's perspective?

Or can't we get past thinking that everyone, especially women (the originators of sin), always have selfish, evil intentions in everything they do?
Jac, whilst this argument may seem plausible, it still doesn't justify the wife's actions. By making a UNILATERAL decision about planning the family without his 'input', she effectively deprived him of the right to one of his most crucial roles as a father.

How could having an affair (or s*xual encounters with another man/other men) and bearing children with him/them, rather than with your own husband, not be MORE humiliating than being infertile? Sorry, but that reasoning is not sound. professor scold
Jun 11, 2022 10:55 PM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago49 Threads 23 Polls 820 Posts
..."not be MORE humiliating..."

For him ( referring to Chen)...
Jun 12, 2022 3:57 AM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
jac_the_gripper
jac_the_gripperjac_the_gripperTonyrefail, South Glamorgan, Wales UK29 Threads 8,359 Posts
Didi7: Jac, whilst this argument may seem plausible, it still doesn't justify the wife's actions. By making a UNILATERAL decision about planning the family without his 'input', she effectively deprived him of the right to one of his most crucial roles as a father.

How could having an affair (or s*xual encounters with another man/other men) and bearing children with him/them, rather than with your own husband, not be MORE humiliating than being infertile? Sorry, but that reasoning is not sound.
So, protecting the male ego supercedes child protection?

Or genetic bonds supercede emotional ones?

Maybe I should only put gifts under the Christmas tree, or make lunch for my biolgical grandchildren. After all, the non-biological grandchildren decrease, rather than increase my ego status. If they're not 'mine', I have no obligation to worry about their physical, or emotional welfare.

I created an alternative narrative from what little information was in your op where women aren't viewed as the originators of sin, men's egos aren't viewed as the be all and end all and children are viewed as the priority.

Perhaps it says more about us when we think it's appropriate that once-cherished children can be discarded and made to suffer the consequences of adults' decisions. Maybe it says more about us that we don't need a full story to leap to the conclusion that all decisions are made for a selfish perspective.
Jun 12, 2022 7:26 AM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
But problem here is that the mother and her 3 small ones
will be left behind... solution: he can pay child support for those 3,
however.. not for her next few.
professor
Jun 12, 2022 7:40 AM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Didi7: Rebecca Moon
Fri, June 10, 2022, 8:14 PM·2 min read
After a paternity test revealed that all three of his daughters were not his biological children, a 45-year-old Chinese man is seeking a divorce from his wife of 16 years.

The man, surnamed Chen from Jiangxi Province in eastern China, began having suspicions about his wife, surnamed Yu, last year. While Chen was working in another city to support his family, he and his wife initially called regularly until she began to avoid him and explained that she wanted to work away from home, reported South China Morning Post.

On March 1, Chen managed to track Yu to a hotel in eastern China where he witnessed his wife checking out with another man. Although he forgave her, he later decided to do a paternity test and discovered that none of the three girls he had been raising were his biological children.

“None of them my own child,” Chen told Jiangxi Radio and TV Station.

After the revelation, Yu disappeared and is now untraceable. Chen has been reaching out to local media outlets asking for help in tracking down his wife. A TV station managed to contact Yu over the phone, and when asked about the situation, she responded that she did not cheat on her husband and that biological paternity is not important. Yu also criticized her husband for seeking a divorce.

“Couples who are sterile adopt kids all the time,” Yu told the news outlet. “Please try to empathize with me. The three children called him ‘dad’ for many years, but now he says the daughters are not his own. What is the difference between him and an animal?”

A lawyer, surnamed Yu, told Jiangxi Radio and TV Station that Chen is fully capable of divorcing Yu if he believes that her actions “severely harmed their relationship.”

“When he applies for a divorce, not only would the law encourage him to ask his wife to reimburse support payments and other expenses he paid for the three children, but he could also seek damages for psychological suffering,” Yu was quoted as telling the news outlet.


Is he justified in asking for a divorce? Can he sue her for mental and emotional distress? If this had been you, what would you do?
So, do we assume one or all of these children were born after the one-child rule ended in china in 2016? And while dad is away working, who is watching the children while mom is away in the hay doing it again with mystery man or men?
Jun 12, 2022 1:25 PM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago49 Threads 23 Polls 820 Posts
"So, protecting the male ego supercedes child protection?
Or genetic bonds supercede emotional ones?"


This isn't about either, fortunately, but about plain old "ethics". Yu's behaviour was un-ethical. The children are only a 'sub'- issue in this matter, as they weren't directly/knowingly the cause of their mother's deceitful behaviour. Sadly, it is usually the ill-behaviour of the adults that cause distress and misfortune to the children - who are the only 'innocents' in this.

This is about a mother, having acted irresponsibly and un-ethically, causing distress to her husband by her infidelity, as well as her deceit about his 'fatherhood'. Whatever his part may have been in the situation leading up to the 'revelation', isn't clear, so I prefer not to comment on that.

If her intentions were so noble, then she should have shared the idea with her husband. If she knew that they weren't, then she should be prepared to admit it, and accept the consequences.
Jun 12, 2022 2:38 PM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
jac_the_gripper
jac_the_gripperjac_the_gripperTonyrefail, South Glamorgan, Wales UK29 Threads 8,359 Posts
Didi7: "So, protecting the male ego supercedes child protection?
Or genetic bonds supercede emotional ones?"


This isn't about either, fortunately, but about plain old "ethics". Yu's behaviour was un-ethical. The children are only a 'sub'- issue in this matter, as they weren't directly/knowingly the cause of their mother's deceitful behaviour. Sadly, it is usually the ill-behaviour of the adults that cause distress and misfortune to the children - who are the only 'innocents' in this.

This is about a mother, having acted irresponsibly and un-ethically, causing distress to her husband by her infidelity, as well as her deceit about his 'fatherhood'. Whatever his part may have been in the situation leading up to the 'revelation', isn't clear, so I prefer not to comment on that.

If her intentions were so noble, then she should have shared the idea with her husband. If she knew that they weren't, then she should be prepared to admit it, and accept the consequences.
Chldren are never a 'sub' issue.

Adults' feelings being hurt are not more important than the physical and emotional well-being of children.

There is an ethical issue here of the man rejecting the children he has raised as his own. They will be deprived emotionally and financially, possibly to the point of destitution if the man rejects them and sues for childcare costs paid.

This is not just about a mother, it's about a father and children, too.

I am a grandmother of four, not just the two I am bilogically related to. I would like to be a grandmther of eight children who are in some way all connected to each other as siblings, if only some of the young adults would get over themselves. These children have an ethical right to know and have a relationship with each other, but adult butt hurt and ego has been prioritised.

Children are never, never, never a 'sub' issue. They are the issue.
Jun 12, 2022 4:26 PM CST Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ...
Didi7
Didi7Didi7Central, Chaguanas Trinidad and Tobago49 Threads 23 Polls 820 Posts
"If she was sleeping around there might be more than one biological father."

That's a good point SecretAgent... there is also probably much more to the real story behind this news article.
Post Comment - Post a comment on this Forum Thread

Stats for this Thread

1,164 Views
53 Comments
Created: Jun 11
Last Viewed: 15 hrs ago
Last Commented: Jun 20

Share this Thread

Post Comment back to top
We use cookies to ensure that you have the best experience possible on our website. Read Our Privacy Policy Here