Chinese man seeks divorce from wife of 16 years after learning his 3 daughters are not his ... (46)
Didi7: Thanks Gal, I appreciate the 'male' perspective on the topic, and wish for more (varying) ones as well. This news article has more than one area of importance, but for me, the bottom line is the wife's unethical behaviour (even if she felt that her intentions were good).
Most opinions here are speculative based on very apparent bias. my opinions are not though. 
I know few women would like their men impregnated other women because these women can not bear children. None of anything in this story speaks for stability for the fathers, husband, wife and children. And this my perspective... the tradition family is dead, destroyed by groups I do not wish to name here. I would like to see the traditional family make a return. It is no longer the norm in society, the traditional two-parent, nuclear family structure has become less relevant today.
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Nonono... Didi, don't let Jacs alternative news fool you.
She screwd around. The children were not planned. And when they popped out
poor Chen did his fatherly duties not knowing they were not his.
What an azzhole she is.
Now the question is of Chen should be a hero and not cut them all out
but instead somehow take care of his daughters while
the need to puke each time he see Yu must be suppressed.
He could bring a sickness bag though.
She screwd around. The children were not planned. And when they popped out
poor Chen did his fatherly duties not knowing they were not his.
What an azzhole she is.
Now the question is of Chen should be a hero and not cut them all out
but instead somehow take care of his daughters while
the need to puke each time he see Yu must be suppressed.
He could bring a sickness bag though.
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online today!galrads: Most opinions here are speculative based on very apparent bias. my opinions are not though. I know few women would like their men impregnated other women because these women can not bear children. None of anything in this story speaks for stability for the fathers, husband, wife and children.
And this my perspective... the tradition family is dead, destroyed by groups I do not wish to name here. I would like to see the traditional family make a return. It is no longer the norm in society, the traditional two-parent, nuclear family structure has become less relevant today.
And this my perspective... the tradition family is dead, destroyed by groups I do not wish to name here. I would like to see the traditional family make a return. It is no longer the norm in society, the traditional two-parent, nuclear family structure has become less relevant today.
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Somehow everyone dismissed a very important part of the article...
"...she responded that she did not cheat on her husband and that biological paternity is not important. Yu also criticised her husband for seeking a divorce...".
Do we need to discuss it?!
She deprived him from the most important choice in life, humiliated him and made him live in a lie...
I'd sue her and take the kids...
"...she responded that she did not cheat on her husband and that biological paternity is not important. Yu also criticised her husband for seeking a divorce...".
Do we need to discuss it?!
She deprived him from the most important choice in life, humiliated him and made him live in a lie...
I'd sue her and take the kids...
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Ten_of_cupss: Somehow everyone dismissed a very important part of the article...
"...she responded that she did not cheat on her husband and that biological paternity is not important. Yu also criticised her husband for seeking a divorce...".
Do we need to discuss it?!
She deprived him from the most important choice in life, humiliated him and made him live in a lie...
I'd sue her and take the kids...
No, the case is clearer than the Johnny Depp case."...she responded that she did not cheat on her husband and that biological paternity is not important. Yu also criticised her husband for seeking a divorce...".
Do we need to discuss it?!
She deprived him from the most important choice in life, humiliated him and made him live in a lie...
I'd sue her and take the kids...
Not sure he can ever get the kids though as they are not his in blood. But sure...
maybe a court could give 'em to him anyway. Hope so.
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Grandsiozzie: No, the case is clearer than the Johnny Depp case.
Not sure he can ever get the kids though as they are not his in blood. But sure...
maybe a court could give 'em to him anyway. Hope so.
Well, the Johnny Depp trial wasn't much complicated, but we are talking about two people who are so very much alike but in a different way, Johnny was part of the problem.Not sure he can ever get the kids though as they are not his in blood. But sure...
maybe a court could give 'em to him anyway. Hope so.
As for the Chinese guy's wife, she simply did everything she wanted behind his back...he was a victim...
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online today!galrads: Most opinions here are speculative based on very apparent bias. my opinions are not though. I know few women would like their men impregnated other women because these women can not bear children. None of anything in this story speaks for stability for the fathers, husband, wife and children.
And this my perspective... the tradition family is dead, destroyed by groups I do not wish to name here. I would like to see the traditional family make a return. It is no longer the norm in society, the traditional two-parent, nuclear family structure has become less relevant today.
I want to add, I do not blame any groups for the loss of the traditional family. We have no one to blame but ourselves...Maybe, it is time to self-reflect and put the blame where it lies.And this my perspective... the tradition family is dead, destroyed by groups I do not wish to name here. I would like to see the traditional family make a return. It is no longer the norm in society, the traditional two-parent, nuclear family structure has become less relevant today.
The younger people I deal with at my job treat me with respect. It is the older men and women, who are bitter and angry at the world....Something to think about....
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jac_the_gripper: Chldren are never a 'sub' issue.
Adults' feelings being hurt are not more important than the physical and emotional well-being of children.
There is an ethical issue here of the man rejecting the children he has raised as his own. They will be deprived emotionally and financially, possibly to the point of destitution if the man rejects them and sues for childcare costs paid.
This is not just about a mother, it's about a father and children, too.
I am a grandmother of four, not just the two I am bilogically related to. I would like to be a grandmther of eight children who are in some way all connected to each other as siblings, if only some of the young adults would get over themselves. These children have an ethical right to know and have a relationship with each other, but adult butt hurt and ego has been prioritised.
Children are never, never, never a 'sub' issue. They are the issue.
"In this case, I disagree".Adults' feelings being hurt are not more important than the physical and emotional well-being of children.
There is an ethical issue here of the man rejecting the children he has raised as his own. They will be deprived emotionally and financially, possibly to the point of destitution if the man rejects them and sues for childcare costs paid.
This is not just about a mother, it's about a father and children, too.
I am a grandmother of four, not just the two I am bilogically related to. I would like to be a grandmther of eight children who are in some way all connected to each other as siblings, if only some of the young adults would get over themselves. These children have an ethical right to know and have a relationship with each other, but adult butt hurt and ego has been prioritised.
Children are never, never, never a 'sub' issue. They are the issue.
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gonelikethewimd:
The younger people I deal with at my job treat me with respect. It is the older men and women, who are bitter and angry at the world....Something to think about....
That brings hope.The younger people I deal with at my job treat me with respect. It is the older men and women, who are bitter and angry at the world....Something to think about....
I also think there is a certain generation who eagerly try and brainwash todays children.
Perhaps the kids will see through it and not fall for the
fluid-gender-black-superiority nonsense or what a heck it is..
(suppose I belong in the "bitter and angry at the world" group
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Didi7: Thanks Gal, I appreciate the 'male' perspective on the topic, and wish for more (varying) ones as well. This news article has more than one area of importance, but for me, the bottom line is the wife's unethical behaviour (even if she felt that her intentions were good).
It's not the male perspectve, it's a male perspective.Just like you think children are a sub-issue and I think children aren't second class citizens, nor disposable commodities.
My granddaughter once said something about her 'real' father. I replied, "Your 'real' father is the one who acts like it" and pointed at my son-in-law. She was thrilled to bits with that. He doesn't treat her differently because she's the only child who is not biologically related to him, he treats her differently because she's his only daughter.
A lot of people go through hell when relationships end and they have no access rights to non-biological children. I find it astounding that there are so many comments about Chen being righteous in his rejection of his daughters.
It leaves me wondering about attachment issues, you poor sods.
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galrads: And this my perspective... the tradition family is dead, destroyed by groups I do not wish to name here. I would like to see the traditional family make a return. It is no longer the norm in society, the traditional two-parent, nuclear family structure has become less relevant today.
Blaming external groups is a way for people to avoid taking responsibility for their own behaviour.------ This thread is Archived ------
The sensible part of me feels bad for everyone in the situation. The twisted part of me however is getting great entertainment out of it.
I'm a freak
I'm a freak
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jac_the_gripper: Blaming external groups is a way for people to avoid taking responsibility for their own behaviour.
I disagree. I only speak for me and voice my opinions here. I really don't like to debate in this medium for many reasons (i have stated this about me on cs before). I take responsibility for my actions and my behavior which has not had any part to do with the near eradication of the traditional family which I mentioned before in this thread.------ This thread is Archived ------
gonelikethewimd: I want to add, I do not blame any groups for the loss of the traditional family. We have no one to blame but ourselves...Maybe, it is time to self-reflect and put the blame where it lies.
The younger people I deal with at my job treat me with respect. It is the older men and women, who are bitter and angry at the world....Something to think about....
Well the idea was to have fewer/better/older people that live for eternity. The boomers were meant to be the great leap forward but they've turned out horrible. We free humanity from the stress of necessity at our own peril. All the luxury of choice didn't translate into a generation of ultra-mature people who always think long-term. Far from it. And having all the best arrangements made for you didn't repeat unto the generations which, if we can expect the unexpected, might turn into a positive.The younger people I deal with at my job treat me with respect. It is the older men and women, who are bitter and angry at the world....Something to think about....
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gonelikethewimd: I want to add, I do not blame any groups for the loss of the traditional family. We have no one to blame but ourselves...Maybe, it is time to self-reflect and put the blame where it lies.
The younger people I deal with at my job treat me with respect. It is the older men and women, who are bitter and angry at the world....Something to think about....
I agree with you. Younger people often have a more outwardly focussed attitude, despite old codgers complaining about their use of technology. The younger people I deal with at my job treat me with respect. It is the older men and women, who are bitter and angry at the world....Something to think about....
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The original statement is news off all times. I know the history of a famous dutch female singer who's daugther was married and did have a child who' s father was not the biological father. The husband did not known about it. A few days before the delivery of her second child she confessed her husband that he was not the father of her children. This caused a shock wave in the family. The deceived husband immediately applied for and received a divorce. In the end, the biological father married the mother of his children.
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"It's not the male perspectve, it's a male perspective."
You are right jac, ...my error.
You are right jac, ...my error.
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"The choice would be theirs if they want to continue to have a relationship with me after that, though not as their father."
It's obvious that Chen is hurt not only from the fraud of making him believe as the father but the fact that three different men fathered three different children (not sure if they're all from one father) and that currently as this is unfolding, she's again cheating with another man.
I wouldn't live with her anymore. Period.
Here's my take with the kids. If I raised them and were nice children and loved me as a father, I wouldn't cut my relationship with any of them. Imagine how difficult it would be for these innocent children to be charged with such a horrible change. Why punish them innocent ones. They're free to choose to come live with me as a father without their horrible mother being on the way.
It's obvious that Chen is hurt not only from the fraud of making him believe as the father but the fact that three different men fathered three different children (not sure if they're all from one father) and that currently as this is unfolding, she's again cheating with another man.
I wouldn't live with her anymore. Period.
Here's my take with the kids. If I raised them and were nice children and loved me as a father, I wouldn't cut my relationship with any of them. Imagine how difficult it would be for these innocent children to be charged with such a horrible change. Why punish them innocent ones. They're free to choose to come live with me as a father without their horrible mother being on the way.
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lindsyjones: Here's my take with the kids. If I raised them and were nice children and loved me as a father, I wouldn't cut my relationship with any of them.
So, love for our children is conditional?They must be biologically ours, nice children and they must provide parents with love?
That doesn't say much for former emotional bonds, if they can be let go, or made destitute so easily.
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If he has not felt it he deserves to be alone.