Family values ( Archived) (40)

Aug 4, 2022 2:32 AM CST Family values
Does anybody know what Asans have in mind when they emphasize
family values in their profiles?
For a westerner like me that words meaning is unclear.
Help me out of you know what it really means.

confused
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Aug 4, 2022 5:25 AM CST Family values
Tiger_Moth
Tiger_MothTiger_MothYeovil, Somerset, England UK23 Threads 2,833 Posts
Grandsiozzie: Does anybody know what Asans have in mind when they emphasize
family values in their profiles?
For a westerner like me that words meaning is unclear.
Help me out of you know what it really means.
I guess a lot of this has to do with culture as some have very high moral standards and discipline.

Basically speaking from a Western point of view I would assume that our family values are less restricted and would generally lean towards a family unit and teaching children to be respectful both within the unit and outside.

Personally speaking I don't envy anyone bringing children up in this day and age to be honest.handshake
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Aug 4, 2022 5:52 AM CST Family values
ChesneyChrist
ChesneyChristChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK7,144 Posts
Grandsiozzie: Does anybody know what Asans have in mind when they emphasize
family values in their profiles?
For a westerner like me that words meaning is unclear.
Help me out of you know what it really means.
She doesn't need to fancy the person she's been sleeping with. It's the Montague's and Capulets who murdered Romeo and Juliet for violating the old world with modern romance. Let us now all do our duty.
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Aug 4, 2022 6:39 AM CST Family values
ChesneyChrist
ChesneyChristChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK7,144 Posts
Mind you the family values are compromised. I mean family values are not necessarily the way the white guy is thinking by buying a really hot 21 year old. And nor is passport grabbing an example of family values, it could be if they have sickly relatives with an eye on the NHS, but leaving your country is itself a betrayal of family values which goes someway to explain American conservatives. There's something off about their conservativism because its a land built by abandoning your own in exchange for a better life. It's a nation of strangers and that's why it sounds so patriotic. Why burning the flag would be so offensive. You couldn't rely on people willing to fight for the nation without constant reassurance that they would. In Britain patriotism is in the bones, and people are allowed to be neutral because if push came to shove they'd be there. You don't have to protest that you are patriotic because it will show itself in your actions.
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Aug 4, 2022 7:00 AM CST Family values
ChesneyChrist
ChesneyChristChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK7,144 Posts
Burn your flag around the British and we see you burning your own flag. If you've paid for it, that's your flag. It's your private property you can do what you like. And this is connected to thinking your mad for believing in a god. Britain was the first modern country and we actually trust you more for not believing in a god. The only country that thinks this way. And we were also the first out of lockdowns. It's your private property, your personal life and we are all individuals. To trust an atheist is based on the opposite of discipline, it's based on the idea of reason and that people can still behave rightly in a hands off society.
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Aug 4, 2022 7:24 AM CST Family values
ChesneyChrist
ChesneyChristChesneyChristManchester, Greater Manchester, England UK7,144 Posts
Grandsiozzie: Does anybody know what Asans have in mind when they emphasize
family values in their profiles?
For a westerner like me that words meaning is unclear.
Help me out of you know what it really means.
Anyway what I suspect happens is that white men married to oriental women divorce more rather than less. What was imagined to be a victory for the lazy man eventually turns out to be even more maintenance. Why? Marrying someone who doesn't really love. You overstate how grateful they're going to be and it becomes an issue that she doesn't fancy you at all. In a land of plenty the low maintenance won't stay low maintenance for long.
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Aug 4, 2022 9:09 AM CST Family values
That was a lot CC, but I don't mind.
There is enough bytes here (bytes free as it was once called).

I don't want anything less than real love and I have the same to give.
So if I hookup with an Asian I will try to make sure (I think that is doable)
that she loves me with her hand on her heart and not on her family piggy bank.
However, only recently did the familiy aspect start to bother me some,
cos I don't want her older brother or father
to decide over my decisions or my private economy.
Basically worried my money now will be considered the familys money
soon as I set foot in her parents home.

It's kinda unromantic to be seen as a walking wallet, so...
it's this I'd like inputs on here if anybody has experience in the field.

Cos unlike you CC I think there are plent love hungry and real romantic Asians.
Not differet from you and me. If I'll have to hide my savings though, from their sight,
it gets more problematic for me and I'll stay clear then and look closer to home.

gift
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Aug 4, 2022 10:09 AM CST Family values
Selenite
SeleniteSeleniteMálaga, Andalusia Spain59 Threads 1 Polls 6,299 Posts
I had an Asian friend. We were colleagues. She was a science teacher. They lived with her husbands parents. As well as her job and bringing up their child, he was expected to serve his parents hand and foot and look amazing at all times.
Usually it's the husbands family who are 'in charge' BUT if her mother is a widow and she has unmarried sisters and/or younger brothers, they might become your responsibility...
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Aug 4, 2022 10:12 AM CST Family values
Selenite
SeleniteSeleniteMálaga, Andalusia Spain59 Threads 1 Polls 6,299 Posts
Selenite: I had an Asian friend. We were colleagues. She was a science teacher. They lived with her husbands parents. As well as her job and bringing up their child, he was expected to serve his parents hand and foot and look amazing at all times.
Usually it's the husbands family who are 'in charge' BUT if her mother is a widow and she has unmarried sisters and/or younger brothers, they might become your responsibility...
Sorry that should say 'she was expected to serve'
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Aug 4, 2022 10:20 AM CST Family values
Yea.... I can prolly feed a few mouths somehow, but I wanna feel free in my own life
dunno
as we're used to at age 51 in our lands.. I think you now what I mean Selenite,
and from what I can gather your own life is pretty free isn't it?
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Aug 4, 2022 10:27 AM CST Family values
Selenite
SeleniteSeleniteMálaga, Andalusia Spain59 Threads 1 Polls 6,299 Posts
Grandsiozzie: Yea.... I can prolly feed a few mouths somehow, but I wanna feel free in my own life

as we're used to at age 51 in our lands.. I think you now what I mean Selenite,
and from what I can gather your own life is pretty free isn't it?
I know what you mean. Not sure where the boudaries of 'family values' would be. You'd need to be sure they're authentic before making irritrievable steps ..
Yes my own life is pretry free because I walked away from controlling partners ...
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Aug 4, 2022 10:42 AM CST Family values
Yea, I thumb that up thumbs up
Now I'm not gonna accept controlling family....hehe

purple heart
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Aug 4, 2022 11:56 AM CST Family values
gonelikethewimd
gonelikethewimdgonelikethewimdOsprey, Florida USA3,293 Posts
Family values to me mean...knowing right from wrong...and teaching your children that by example.

Meaning...showing them unconditional love..and letting them embrace who they are. Teaching them work ethic...and how to treat others....by the way you treat them. Letting them fail....and to learn from those lessons.

You are speaking of an Asian culture...not values...Many Asian cultures do expect their sons to take care of his parents in their old age....Not all...
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Aug 4, 2022 12:12 PM CST Family values
Selenite
SeleniteSeleniteMálaga, Andalusia Spain59 Threads 1 Polls 6,299 Posts
gonelikethewimd: Family values to me mean...knowing right from wrong...and teaching your children that by example.

Meaning...showing them unconditional love..and letting them embrace who they are. Teaching them work ethic...and how to treat others....by the way you treat them. Letting them fail....and to learn from those lessons.

You are speaking of an Asian culture...not values...Many Asian cultures do expect their sons to take care of his parents in their old age....Not all...
In the case I was describing where they lived with the husbands parents, the parents were in their 60's ... not exactly old age... dunno
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Aug 4, 2022 12:19 PM CST Family values
gonelikethewimd
gonelikethewimdgonelikethewimdOsprey, Florida USA3,293 Posts
Selenite: In the case I was describing where they lived with the husbands parents, the parents were in their 60's ... not exactly old age...
I was not referring to your comments...

It was how so many stereotype certain groups.

There are good and bad in all people.

But, still family values are not the same as culture.
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Aug 4, 2022 12:28 PM CST Family values
Yes. I ain't judging.

I just see that in many an asian profile here on cs
you can find sentences like this:

"I am looking for a man who put family first (or similar)"
So I wonder what distinguish family life in Asia from here in Europe?
I need to know what it means in practicallity to see if it is for me.

drinking
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Aug 4, 2022 12:30 PM CST Family values
Tiger_Moth
Tiger_MothTiger_MothYeovil, Somerset, England UK23 Threads 2,833 Posts
Selenite: In the case I was describing where they lived with the husbands parents, the parents were in their 60's ... not exactly old age...
So what age do you personally consider someone to be old?



Historically, the United Nations has defined an "older" person as anyone 60 years or older, regardless of that person's individual history or where in the world they live. "Everyone became old at 60."

In the UK the pensionable age was 60 for women and 65 for men and it was called an "old age pension" dunno
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Aug 4, 2022 12:30 PM CST Family values
Here:

"I am looking for Kind loving understanding, honest and Family oriented.."
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Aug 4, 2022 12:33 PM CST Family values
Tiger_Moth: So what age do you personally consider someone to be old?
Historically, the United Nations has defined an "older" person as anyone 60 years or older, regardless of that person's individual history or where in the world they live. "Everyone became old at 60."
In the UK the pensionable age was 60 for women and 65 for men and it was called an "old age pension"
Hi Tiger. Thanks for the relevant input rolling on the floor laughing
(not)
Does it matter what one person think old age is?
My papa died at 79 and I'd say he was very young at heart,
and body too- except of clogged up arteries.
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Aug 4, 2022 12:36 PM CST Family values
Selenite
SeleniteSeleniteMálaga, Andalusia Spain59 Threads 1 Polls 6,299 Posts
gonelikethewimd: I was not referring to your comments...

It was how so many stereotype certain groups.

There are good and bad in all people.

But, still family values are not the same as culture.
Absolutely stereotyping is never cute and although I agree that culture is different from family values,
in some cultures 'family values' have different content and boundaries where it seeems the culture influences the family values being taught within the family.

I could see that even as a Spanish person growing in France. Our own family values and my friends family values were different because our culture influenced the values we were taught in our family.
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