Would , or could you forgive your partner … (148)
Butterflygirl1Dublin, Ireland1,080 PostsYoucannow: If they were unfaithful under any circumstances?
Yes I forgave him as I didn’t want to hold onto the anger but there was no longer a place in my life for him.
Selenite: No always about codependency or jealousy....
Some people are so sensitive to energy and vibration that when their partner spends time with someone else they feel the change in vibration and it's very disconcerting ... it's like having intimate moments with someone else 'by proxy' ... those same sensitive people might prefer to chose who they get intimate with including 'experiences by proxy' ...
It's even more disconcerting when you catch them at itSome people are so sensitive to energy and vibration that when their partner spends time with someone else they feel the change in vibration and it's very disconcerting ... it's like having intimate moments with someone else 'by proxy' ... those same sensitive people might prefer to chose who they get intimate with including 'experiences by proxy' ...
jagtom: It's even more disconcerting when you catch them at it
You mean in a relationship were the agreement was monogamy? I take your word for it ... 
Selenite: You mean in a relationship were the agreement was monogamy? I take your word for it ...
I can't speak for the other side but I'll try yours if you try mine
Nah! Pass on that one thanks
Selenite: Nah! Pass on that one thanks
@ Jagtom
Nope, no, no, nine, nadda, nyet, no eFing way. I don’t want o taste another guy and there are Too many STDs out there. 
bodleing2: Hi Al.....
The demand for exclusivity has it's roots in the infants total dependence on the stability of 'the other' (parent.) This dependency we take into our adult romantic relationships where the demand for exclusivity becomes the accepted norm fueled by the original projections we believed to be love. But it's the same fear we have of being abandoned or betrayed as an infant by our parental other.
So, the action of an unfaithful SO is charged with deep complexes rooted in our childhood relationship to those we were dependent on for our very existance.
The powerful deep seated charge that goes with an unfaithful partner overides any kind of objective rationale, the ego is violated, the child abandoned.
The need for exclusivity in a relationship is really a form of attachment, the mutual expectation of exclusivity however rather than need can be the bedrock of any healthy relationship.
Hi Gra,The demand for exclusivity has it's roots in the infants total dependence on the stability of 'the other' (parent.) This dependency we take into our adult romantic relationships where the demand for exclusivity becomes the accepted norm fueled by the original projections we believed to be love. But it's the same fear we have of being abandoned or betrayed as an infant by our parental other.
So, the action of an unfaithful SO is charged with deep complexes rooted in our childhood relationship to those we were dependent on for our very existance.
The powerful deep seated charge that goes with an unfaithful partner overides any kind of objective rationale, the ego is violated, the child abandoned.
The need for exclusivity in a relationship is really a form of attachment, the mutual expectation of exclusivity however rather than need can be the bedrock of any healthy relationship.
Yeah, it is for lack of better words, almost hard wired and as such difficult 'programming' to change. Some really deep awareness is required. I think beliefs are changeable but the actuation of a new belief is somewhat more difficult given how much material is in the subconscious that we don't acquaint ourselves with.
I would also add to your wise description that all of what you say is born and brewed in a consistent ego driven 'victim consciousness' that is also affirmed and reaffirmed by peers and social groups. It is quite the beast that hides the truth of love; but of course it would take a mammoth beast like that to hide true love, wouldn't it? The ego has an unfathomable imagination.
Then there's the fact that there is no beginning and that that is the most important truth. This is of course a buddhist idea that I have likely butchered. Sometimes these things cause me to wonder how important it is to grasp these subjects in their purest form and or have I really done that, at all, ever?
ah
BB_snickers: Hi Gra,
Yeah, it is for lack of better words, almost hard wired and as such difficult 'programming' to change. Some really deep awareness is required. I think beliefs are changeable but the actuation of a new belief is somewhat more difficult given how much material is in the subconscious that we don't acquaint ourselves with.
I would also add to your wise description that all of what you say is born and brewed in a consistent ego driven 'victim consciousness' that is also affirmed and reaffirmed by peers and social groups. It is quite the beast that hides the truth of love; but of course it would take a mammoth beast like that to hide true love, wouldn't it? The ego has an unfathomable imagination.
Then there's the fact that there is no beginning and that that is the most important truth. This is of course a buddhist idea that I have likely butchered. Sometimes these things cause me to wonder how important it is to grasp these subjects in their purest form and or have I really done that, at all, ever?
ah
Hey candy bar, Yeah, it is for lack of better words, almost hard wired and as such difficult 'programming' to change. Some really deep awareness is required. I think beliefs are changeable but the actuation of a new belief is somewhat more difficult given how much material is in the subconscious that we don't acquaint ourselves with.
I would also add to your wise description that all of what you say is born and brewed in a consistent ego driven 'victim consciousness' that is also affirmed and reaffirmed by peers and social groups. It is quite the beast that hides the truth of love; but of course it would take a mammoth beast like that to hide true love, wouldn't it? The ego has an unfathomable imagination.
Then there's the fact that there is no beginning and that that is the most important truth. This is of course a buddhist idea that I have likely butchered. Sometimes these things cause me to wonder how important it is to grasp these subjects in their purest form and or have I really done that, at all, ever?
ah
No need to grasp anything. You are loyal to your partner or your not. Plain and simple.
secretagent09: Hey candy bar,
No need to grasp anything. You are loyal to your partner or your not. Plain and simple.
*you'reNo need to grasp anything. You are loyal to your partner or your not. Plain and simple.
Youcannow: You are more forgiving than myself.
I find it best to forgive then move on as apposed to letting it fester..I don't buy the Ego thing.
Sorry, its not the root of all evil, no, no...
Ego is the curiosity, the drive for growth and discovery, the force that makes us explore and move forward.
There's nothing divine in cheating we need to put up with.
You choose yourself and that's the most relevant thing you should do.
You can forgive, but you don't need to stay in a broken trust connection.
There's the difference.
Sorry, its not the root of all evil, no, no...
Ego is the curiosity, the drive for growth and discovery, the force that makes us explore and move forward.
There's nothing divine in cheating we need to put up with.
You choose yourself and that's the most relevant thing you should do.
You can forgive, but you don't need to stay in a broken trust connection.
There's the difference.
Ten_of_cupss: I don't buy the Ego thing.
Sorry, its not the root of all evil, no, no...
Oh, there is no evil (my belief, just as there is no duality). Just to dispel this notion if you think that I was characterizing ego as evil.Sorry, its not the root of all evil, no, no...
Ten_of_cupss: Ego is the curiosity, the drive for growth and discovery, the force that makes us explore and move forward.
I would lend credence to this idea though I think that desire and curiosity don't belong in the same definition and ego is far more about desire. Curiosity to me, is open minded and this is a fact contrary to ego characteristics. That desire though does, as you say, lead the way to growth and discovery, if perceived in a way that sees it's own foibles and is willing to accept correction.
Ten_of_cupss:
There's nothing divine in cheating we need to put up with.
You choose yourself and that's the most relevant thing you should do.
You can forgive, but you don't need to stay in a broken trust connection.
There's the difference.
Welp, forgiveness is good. I believe and quite literally, that no connection can be broken. Connections are forever and cannot be broken. Some moments of forgetting are vaguely possible but this is very much the weak musings of ego in it's attempt to feel special, alone, and separate from others. Very weak really.There's nothing divine in cheating we need to put up with.
You choose yourself and that's the most relevant thing you should do.
You can forgive, but you don't need to stay in a broken trust connection.
There's the difference.
That there are higher trusts than this, is significant, but I won't expand on that topic.
secretagent09: Hey candy bar,
No need to grasp anything. You are loyal to your partner or your not. Plain and simple.
No need to grasp anything. You are loyal to your partner or your not. Plain and simple.
Simplicity is sometimes an awesome partner to plainness.
I think 'loyalty' is a very loose stroke when applied in relating with others, especially if that excludes others and or self by reason of 'mistakes'. One's ability to grow is often fed by forgiveness of self, seeing that perfection in this universe only exists as an imperfection that is known to each of us. We are indisputably that imperfection manifest. When we add our own perceived gravity to another's choices and then judge them, we betray our own innocence in perfect imperfection. None of us are free of mistakes, plain and simple.
BB_snickers: Oh, there is no evil (my belief, just as there is no duality). Just to dispel this notion if you think that I was characterizing ego as evil.
I would lend credence to this idea though I think that desire and curiosity don't belong in the same definition and ego is far more about desire. Curiosity to me, is open minded and this is a fact contrary to ego characteristics. That desire though does, as you say, lead the way to growth and discovery, if perceived in a way that sees it's own foibles and is willing to accept correction.
Welp, forgiveness is good. I believe and quite literally, that no connection can be broken. Connections are forever and cannot be broken. Some moments of forgetting are vaguely possible but this is very much the weak musings of ego in it's attempt to feel special, alone, and separate from others. Very weak really.
That there are higher trusts than this, is significant, but I won't expand on that topic.
We can agree to disagree, right?I would lend credence to this idea though I think that desire and curiosity don't belong in the same definition and ego is far more about desire. Curiosity to me, is open minded and this is a fact contrary to ego characteristics. That desire though does, as you say, lead the way to growth and discovery, if perceived in a way that sees it's own foibles and is willing to accept correction.
Welp, forgiveness is good. I believe and quite literally, that no connection can be broken. Connections are forever and cannot be broken. Some moments of forgetting are vaguely possible but this is very much the weak musings of ego in it's attempt to feel special, alone, and separate from others. Very weak really.
That there are higher trusts than this, is significant, but I won't expand on that topic.
I have a different experience in fulfilling my vivid interest in the human and higher relations and connections.
I don't see it the way you see it.
And it works for me and my job perfectly.
Ten_of_cupss: We can agree to disagree, right?
I have a different experience in fulfilling my vivid interest in the human and higher relations and connections.
I don't see it the way you see it.
And it works for me and my job perfectly.
Perfect I have a different experience in fulfilling my vivid interest in the human and higher relations and connections.
I don't see it the way you see it.
And it works for me and my job perfectly.
BB_snickers: Oh, there is no evil (my belief, just as there is no duality). Just to dispel this notion if you think that I was characterizing ego as evil.
I would lend credence to this idea though I think that desire and curiosity don't belong in the same definition and ego is far more about desire. Curiosity to me, is open minded and this is a fact contrary to ego characteristics. That desire though does, as you say, lead the way to growth and discovery, if perceived in a way that sees it's own foibles and is willing to accept correction.
Welp, forgiveness is good. I believe and quite literally, that no connection can be broken. Connections are forever and cannot be broken. Some moments of forgetting are vaguely possible but this is very much the weak musings of ego in it's attempt to feel special, alone, and separate from others. Very weak really.
That there are higher trusts than this, is significant, but I won't expand on that topic.
Curiosity doesn't really have an object to its desire. You don't what's going to come out of it unlike the desire to eat chocolate cake. Curiosity is a bit more than open-minded it's outcome independent. Its for better or worse, curiosity gets itself killed and an ego save it's own skin at the expense of discovery.I would lend credence to this idea though I think that desire and curiosity don't belong in the same definition and ego is far more about desire. Curiosity to me, is open minded and this is a fact contrary to ego characteristics. That desire though does, as you say, lead the way to growth and discovery, if perceived in a way that sees it's own foibles and is willing to accept correction.
Welp, forgiveness is good. I believe and quite literally, that no connection can be broken. Connections are forever and cannot be broken. Some moments of forgetting are vaguely possible but this is very much the weak musings of ego in it's attempt to feel special, alone, and separate from others. Very weak really.
That there are higher trusts than this, is significant, but I won't expand on that topic.
ChesneyChrist: Curiosity doesn't really have an object to its desire. You don't what's going to come out of it unlike the desire to eat chocolate cake. Curiosity is a bit more than open-minded it's outcome independent. Its for better or worse, curiosity gets itself killed and an ego save it's own skin at the expense of discovery.
Agreed. Curiosity has a more spiritual aspect primarily because it is not outcome dependant and true even though it may kill the cat, the ego would have none of that even at the loss of it's much needed gratification save an attempt to enact self righteousness which it may indeed, foolishly die for. Ego requires so much more 'control' than curiosity, by definition, would allow.
Curiosity is a gambler the things that happen they happen at random. The young are curious because they've been recently born, and to be born is to enter into a world not of your making.
The ego is the grand design in a life much more deliberate. It stays within the realm of events that can be controlled so that things do not get left to chance. It's basically a her indoors.
The ego is the grand design in a life much more deliberate. It stays within the realm of events that can be controlled so that things do not get left to chance. It's basically a her indoors.
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