Mom is dying. I am losing my mind ( Archived) (39)

I just got some really bad news over the phone. My moms cancer has now spread into her lungs and liver.

I have posted a bit about my my situeation a while back. i dont use these forums as much anymore though so people may not remember me.

My mom was diagnosed with breast cancer a few years ago. She had some kemo and her breast removed and she was good to go. About a year ago it came back in her bones. She was instantly put on alot of medication and shoved in a hospital not remembering her own name even. after months of confusion, she was finelly released but was still out of it. We went to another doctor in the network who took her off alot of the meds. She made an instant recovery. She was even driving again. We were told that it was very possible she could live to be an old lady as long as they kept it out of her organs.

She was good for about three months and started to get bad again. Her cancer started to spread and her pain medication had to be raised. She was so bad, she couldnt walk without a walker. This was about the same time my sons mom and i broke up and I moved out. I was going to get a new place soon and moved back home for about a month. My mom got so bad, i had to stay. I also got laid off from my job. I was going to get a new one but my mom was so bad, she required 20 hour care and with my dad working during the day to struggle to pay their bills and keep their insurance, I was the only one really in the position to be her care giver since i had no other real obligations at the time.

So basically, i put my whole life on hold to care for my sick mom. I care for her all day and have my son every evening. Both of them are a full time job which i do not get paid for. It was well worth it though and i needed to be there for my family.

Right around the same time, i started dating a girl i met on this site. i spent all week with my mom and the weekends with her. Then after a month in a half, she decided to want other things. That messed me up but I got through it.

I have not been out for the house in quite some time. i tried to go back to college but had to drop my classes already because mom cant be alone. Now i have no money because I spent my tax return on classes i had to drop anyway. My only source of income are credit cards and i use the cash advances to pay on them every month.

I gave up everything to help my mom and was really optimistic. i thought my hard work and dedication to her would make all the difference in her recovery. Now she is in the hospital and probably doesnt have much time left. I dont know the extent of it until the family meeting later at the hospital. I dont think she has much longer though.

I basically have nobody except for my son and a couple friends who have no time for me because of work, school and relationships. Girls will not get close to me because of everything that is going on. I was talking to somebody out of state but that is not going very far now. All i get is mail from an immature girl i was seeing from here calling me a pathetic loser who needs to change my profile and get professional help. She laughed and said I could never talk a girl out on the town because things like that require money which i do not have. she said her and her friend could not stop laughing. I did not ask for my mom to get sick though. i did not ask to lose everything. Does this really make me that pathetic or are alot of women just that shallow?

i guess all i can do now is hope for some kind of quick miracle cure like so many others have towards the end. i am shaking so bad right now I dont know what to do. I am completely losing my mind and have nobody to talk to. this whole thing has changed me and has given me a really bad outlook on life and people. I just want my mom to live so i know i didnt fail and that everything i have given up has not been for nothing.

Hang in there buddy.

sorry to here it.

good thing ya made a mini blanket bio... will save to future typing, eh?

it's ok to lose your mind ..... just don't lose heart

know that it's alllllll part of being human...


screw those stupid girls too!!!!


sometimes girls are really stupid......


sometimes boys are too

Dude, sorry to that hear about that, I don't mean for this to sound nasty, but at least she wont be in pain anymore, she'll be in a better place. She'll always be in your heart... I kind of know how you feel, my mum's disabled, she's been told that if she carry's on smoking, she wont have long to live... q='o(

Take heart that you were there for her and did all that you could for her!!!!

As for all these shallow women...Well they just aren't worth it...Take this time to reflect on the direction you want your life to take and begin anew when the time is right!!!!!!!

I basically have nobody except for my son and a couple friends who have no time for me because of work, school and relationships. Girls will not get close to me because of everything that is going on. I was talking to somebody out of state but that is not going very far now. All i get is mail from an immature girl i was seeing from here calling me a pathetic loser who needs to change my profile and get professional help. She laughed and said I could never talk a girl out on the town because things like that require money which i do not have. she said her and her friend could not stop laughing. I did not ask for my mom to get sick though. i did not ask to lose everything. Does this really make me that pathetic or are alot of women just that shallow?

Hey man...so sorry you had to experience such callousness with this girl who obviously lacks a soul...You are a HERO in my eyes...the sacrifices you have made because of your love for your mother makes you the wealthiest person I've known in a long time....I hope someday you can realize that...dont change a thing about you...surround your mother with love...walk with her hand in hand to the threshold and remind her that you will see her again...this is what I experienced with my father when he had cancer....I respect you...and I am proud of you as well...a true spirit...

Our prayers are with you and your family. Peace and serenity