Pre-Mammogram Exercises for Jitters...... ( Archived) (61)

Many women are afraid of their first mammogram, but there is no need to worry. By taking a few minutes each day for a week preceding the exam and doing the following exercises, you will be totally prepared for the test, and best of all, you can do these simple exercises right in and around your home.

Exercise One

Open your refrigerator door and insert one breast in door. Shut the door as hard as possible and lean on the door for good measure. Hold that position for five seconds. Repeat again in case the first time wasn't effective enough.

Exercise Two

Visit your garage at 3 a.m. when the temperature of the cement floor is just perfect Take off all of your clothes and lie comfortably on the floor with one breast wedged under the rear tire of the car. Ask a friend to slowly back the car up until the breast is sufficiently flattened and chilled. Turn over and repeat with the other breast.

Exercise Three

Freeze two metal bookends overnight. Strip to the waist. Invite a stranger into the room. Press the bookends against one of your breasts. Smash the bookends together as hard as you can. Set up an appointment with the stranger to meet next year and do it again.

You are totally prepared!

but my hospital has a state of the art machine with padding.doesn't hurt at all and no cold metal!!

OMFG!

I am laughing and wincing at the same time...

Thanks ALOT, PEGGY!

There's nothing like being a breast sandwich

Finally! Hope mine does cuz I've been putting it off for the obvious reasons!

You inspired me to put this up when I checked in "Friends hangout.."

just ask my old boyfriends and ex husbands!!