Control ( Archived) (20)

The second cause of the break up of relationships besides money is control. Have you ever been in a controlling relationship? How did it make you feel?
Did you feel like you were being suffercated or held hostage? How did it end?

I think people need to be free...Freedom is the truth of love...If there were more freedom and less need for people to feel they have to control it would be a better world. People need to be free...free your mind and the rest will follow. Control doesn't work. It is based on insecurtiy and it is an illusion....
Control turns good to bad and people lose respect for others who try to control them. Love is the opposite of control and fear...Love is respect and even rejoicing that another sees, acts, and lives differently than you do.

Amen !!!















btw, read your response to commitment but didn't have the time to write back and I have to run now as well but will get back to you on that via eamil maybe

The best way to get what you want is to make your partner think it was hi/her idea.

Hey girl!

An excellent thread! I agree 100%!!! I was in a "mentally" controlling relationship for 13+ yrs. "Held hostage" is a good analogy to describe it!
How did it end?? Divorce! It was like a giant weight was lifted off my soul.

Loving someone is NOT controlling them! Everybody needs their own "space",and alone time!

I have been in many controling relationships...My last husband was very controling and I would say the worste relationship I have ever been in....It didn't start out that way but after we got married everything changed...He would time me when I went to the store..He would look at the clock when I left the house and could tell me to the minute how long I had been gone and want to know why it took me so long...We lived in a small town of which my entire family lives in but I wasn't suppose to stop to talk to anyone...It was go get what I needed and get strait home...He also would tell me if I ever tried to leave him he would track me down and kill me...Now mind you this was a man I had been friends with for 11 years before we even dated...There are a lot of other reasons I left that I would rather not get into as it imbarrases me to have been married to someone like that..

Good for you to get out of a sitution that caused you to feel that way. I also believe that we all do like our own space and alone time. I was in a controlling relationship for 4 years and when I got out of it, I felt like I had been held hostage for those 4 years. At times while in the relationship, I felt like I was being suffercated and I was angry at myself for allowing it. He wanted to know everything I did at every minute. And trust is very important if you can't trust someone then you don't need to be with them...the thing is he could trust me, but he accused me of things to get a response I guess. So not being able to trust was his problem but it all stemmed from his own insecurity. I learned some lessons from that relationship anyway. So I give myself a good grade.

Well, you took your power and freedom back and that is great.