Do you think ... ( Archived) (35)

May 23, 2007 4:32 PM CST Do you think ...
HzChld
HzChldHzChldSomewhere in the middle, Oklahoma USA55 Threads 2,779 Posts
that once a person cheats on their mate, they will always be a cheater?
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May 23, 2007 4:34 PM CST Do you think ...
littlewriter
littlewriterlittlewriterclose-ish to belfast, UK17 Threads 1,007 Posts
no i dont
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May 23, 2007 4:38 PM CST Do you think ...
RedHeadedTaurus
RedHeadedTaurusRedHeadedTaurusHere, Michigan USA17 Threads 1 Polls 8,455 Posts
Not necessarily...
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May 23, 2007 4:45 PM CST Do you think ...
airliner
airlinerairlinerCentral, New Jersey USA23 Threads 2 Polls 5,143 Posts
I beg to differ

once a cheater, always a cheater

dunno
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May 23, 2007 4:49 PM CST Do you think ...
ajm1976
ajm1976ajm1976cambridge, Cambridgeshire, England UK1 Threads 20 Posts
i think it depends on what was behind the cheating, all i can is everyone is different and that you should not judge a "cheat" on what other people say.
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May 23, 2007 4:51 PM CST Do you think ...
Zellarrone1
Zellarrone1Zellarrone1Hull, East Riding of Yorkshire, England UK33 Threads 4 Polls 7,644 Posts
I totally agree with Airliners opinion...leopards never change their spots...
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May 23, 2007 4:52 PM CST Do you think ...
lola36
lola36lola36dublin, Dublin Ireland120 Threads 4,687 Posts
No I don't think this wayconfused
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May 23, 2007 4:56 PM CST Do you think ...
jimkabob
jimkabobjimkabobRegina, Saskatchewan Canada3 Threads 935 Posts
I almost tend to agree with "once a cheater, always a cheater". It's hard to continue to trust that person if they have tendencies to cheat to begin with.

But I think there is more to consider. The circumstances. Whether that person can learn from their mistakes. And also how important their partner is to them. How that person views them self etc.

Hey, I'm not a cheater just my opinion.
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May 23, 2007 5:00 PM CST Do you think ...
RedHeadedTaurus
RedHeadedTaurusRedHeadedTaurusHere, Michigan USA17 Threads 1 Polls 8,455 Posts
That may be true, but people can change. Will they, though??? That is the real question...dunno
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May 23, 2007 5:04 PM CST Do you think ...
airliner
airlinerairlinerCentral, New Jersey USA23 Threads 2 Polls 5,143 Posts
it also boils down to whether or not the victim (cheated) can forgive the cheater. After all, this is something private and between the two People
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May 23, 2007 5:12 PM CST Do you think ...
airliner
airlinerairlinerCentral, New Jersey USA23 Threads 2 Polls 5,143 Posts
That's a good question Red.....I am 45 and I still don't know the answer. I tend to think that people can change in certain respects to adapt to times and to the environment but I find cheating to be a fundamental character issue....

Although early education and family status may have a major impact on how our character shapes up, it is mainly in the genes...


Sorry if I was too analyticalprofessor


wave
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May 23, 2007 5:13 PM CST Do you think ...
beanes
beanesbeanesSitges, Catalonia Spain1 Threads 187 Posts
hm, I agree with your earlier post ..and even if the "victim" does forgive the cheater, the initial trust will not be there again..what will be there is a question mark,
pronounced or not pronounced ..but there.
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May 23, 2007 5:17 PM CST Do you think ...
airliner
airlinerairlinerCentral, New Jersey USA23 Threads 2 Polls 5,143 Posts
Ditto....


The severity of the cheating and the history of the cheater may also play into it.....
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May 23, 2007 5:17 PM CST Do you think ...
beanes
beanesbeanesSitges, Catalonia Spain1 Threads 187 Posts
which really puts into question the whole relation - in my eyes
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May 23, 2007 5:17 PM CST Do you think ...
RedHeadedTaurus
RedHeadedTaurusRedHeadedTaurusHere, Michigan USA17 Threads 1 Polls 8,455 Posts
Not at all...I'm an (overly, at times) analytical thinker, & I think that you have brought up some very valid points there.


Basically, in my opinion (as far as the whole cheating bit)...I believe that it really depends on the person, overall.
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May 23, 2007 5:19 PM CST Do you think ...
beanes
beanesbeanesSitges, Catalonia Spain1 Threads 187 Posts
yes but now we are talking about degrees of something I would not want in a relationship?
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May 23, 2007 5:20 PM CST Do you think ...
RedHeadedTaurus
RedHeadedTaurusRedHeadedTaurusHere, Michigan USA17 Threads 1 Polls 8,455 Posts
Exactly! beer
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May 23, 2007 5:20 PM CST Do you think ...
Galactic_bodhi
Galactic_bodhiGalactic_bodhiAkron, Ohio USA609 Threads 1 Polls 9,196 Posts
I believe trust is built over time. It is rebuilt over an even greater time.

"Once a cheater, always a cheater." is yet another broad generalization. I think that the person in question will have great difficulty in convincing the victim to trust again, but that with sincere effort, it can be accomplished.

Whether that person actually pays more than lip service to the idea of rebuilding trust is a whole other issue. I think it would require honest effort and concrete action such as seeing a counselor for me to trust someone again, but that is just me.

TET
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May 23, 2007 5:23 PM CST Do you think ...
beanes
beanesbeanesSitges, Catalonia Spain1 Threads 187 Posts
phew, you sound like having been hurt!
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May 23, 2007 5:23 PM CST Do you think ...
fireliter
fireliterfireliterAllen Park, Michigan USA502 Threads 14 Polls 5,902 Posts
I think if they stay in the same relationship the odds are good they will.
however if its a different person they have a relationship with I think the odds are less then the other scenario
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by HzChld (55 Threads)
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