Fear ( Archived) (12)

To what extend do we allow "fear of exposing our vulnerabilities" to dictate how we project ourselves... be it by using aggressive, brash, dis-courteous, language/attitude...
In other words are we "affraid" that our vulnerabilities - if laid bare - will be perceived by others as "weaknesses"? What "tactics" - voluntary or non-voluntary - do we use to hide them?

i am the type of person that doesn't like to show any "weakness" or vulnerablity. i have been accused of being hard hearted before, which is simply not true, i just choose to try and hold it together and appear unflappable if the world is crumbling down around me. i can assure you im not hard hearted though, quite the opposite infact.

alot of people who show vulnerabilities in my opinion, arnt really vulnerable at all, they are doing it purely for attention and compliments.

i don't appear agressive or dis-courteous though! i am always a v polite person and i think manners are very important and get you far in life. however, like i said, sometimes i come across as hard hearted or strong or "a rock" as i've been described. one of the bad things about hiding your weaknesses is sometimes an apparently strong person doesnt get the support they need when they need it the most.

although to be honest, if someone was to ask me if i wanted them to help me or "be there for me" i'd say "no im fine!" lol go figure!

I deal with people I can trust and if I don't know or trust them I go slow. It's a give and take, and if the balance is missing then it stops.

oh by the way i wasn't saying everyone who shows vulnerablitity does it for attention, just some people i know!

I don't mind showing my vulnerabilities because I look for people whose strengths make up for my weaknesses.

We all have our vulnerabilities. I am not afraid to show them to people i trust...With the other people it is not that i don't want to show to them, it's just that i want to keep a distance. I think it's a good think to show our flaws to the others. We may correct them by doing this..

Wow! These threads today remind me of Sociology class in college. Charles Horton Cooley might answer this thread with what he calls the "Looking Glass Self".

In the looking-glass self a person views himself or herself through others' perceptions in society and in turn gains identity. Identity, or self, is the result of the concept in which we learn to see ourselves as others do.

There are three main components of the looking-glass self:

1. We imagine how we must appear to others.
2. We imagine the judgment of that appearance. 3. We develop our self through the judgments of others.

We see ourselves through the eyes of other people, even to the extent of incorporating their views of us into our own self-concept.

Example: Teenagers are often strongly influenced by their peers and will go beyond conforming to changing their self-image to match.

So What?

If you want someone to believe something about themselves, act towards them as if it were true.

Great question.

I have progressively revealed a great deal through the threads...I'm not afraid of being frank and honest...it's got to be done to some extent. It helps of course if you don't give two hoots what people think!

Get any list of women’s desires in there men and I will guaranty that vulnerable is not on it.