Why children must suffer from our own wrong choices????? ( Archived) (12)

An why born children when we are not sure our partner will become a good father/mother????????

you are right

I never wanted to have childtren with the mother of my 2 kids = I was 28 whenBeck was born and she was 21

I knew then that the relationship wasnt going to work out but we still stayed together for 9yrs before it finally broke

she was not what i was looking for at that time - but somehow, it all went wrong however hard i tried to stop it.

and who suffers most - my 13yr old son and 19yr old daughter

shame

No. Of course i don't like abusive relatinships. What i am trying to say is that if my parents had a divorse i wouldn't be the same person i am now. The child needs his father. As an idol. He needs his father for support. Especially boys. It's very difficult for a woman to be a mother and father at the same time...My mom couldn'r never replace my father...



I don't want to make critics on anyone. I just make my thoughts known to the public.
Is that bad?

No need to be ashemed my friend... You must be there for your children...

because they are part of us

Anyway, children don't have to suffer, their suffering depends on how the parents suffer.
We can't dramatize, when getting through a separation...for the sake of the kids, i defend we act, if necessary

no its not bad but i just don't agree with you! lol

i don't want my son to idolise anyone! not his dad, not even me! because nobody is perfect and he would be in for a disappointment. i would far rather my son have a good, decent roll model. someone he loves and respects and someone he can go to for advice and support and unconditional love. i don't want him to have some idol who he will aspire to be exactly like and take on exactly the same values and goals etc. i believe kids should be able to take their own paths in life, and not just copy what their "idol" does.

i do think though that it would be ideal for my little boy to have a good male rolemodel in his life, but not long after he was born i discovered his dad would never be this. its not an ideal world.

My parents divorced when I was 13..It was extremely hard for me...personally.I never saw it coming, and was very non-accepting of it. My father was never good at fathering at all...He was an alcoholic and workaholic so he didn't have much time for me or my brother or sister. The result is I had to teach myself everything that a father is supposed to teach his son...on my own.In other words I learned everything the hard way. I resented him for many years, but have since reconciled, and we have a good but limited relationship.
Many times I have thought what my life would be like now if I had the support of my father. Though I know that will only make me more resentful. One thing is for sure...My mom is a true champion of all moms, because she was able to fill the job of father and mother...It was far from easy but my mom was a better father and mother than my dad could ever be. She is the best mom anyone could ever have.

Thanx for sharing Urhotman!!! Your mom seems like a great person!!!!