My ongoing language lessons ..... ( Archived) (1)

Aug 18, 2007 9:23 AM CST My ongoing language lessons .....
dreamer_too
dreamer_toodreamer_tooTransplanted to, North Carolina USA4 Threads 208 Posts
designed to make me "fit in" to the environment in which I transplanted myself. A coworker/friend has finally given up on how I pronouce words and their 'southern' meaning. So, I will guess I will continue to search my limited "yankee" vocabulary, trying to explain myself. In the meantime, she has just taken my "southern language" lesson to a different direction. I thought I would share this with others so they can see my daily challenges. Enjoy!!!

Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of
"yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, . as in: "Going to
town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the
white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl in the middle
of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the
term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for
a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of
cold potato salad. If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to
add a large banana puddin!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between"right near" and "a
right far piece." They also know that"just down the road" can be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner, both knows and understands, the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and Po white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn
signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, . and when we're
"in line," . we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are
perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried
green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know you
are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk."Sweet tea indicates
the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet
milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her heart" . and go
your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your Southerness:
Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and call me in the morning.
Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this Southern stuff, ... bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to have
classes on Southernness as a second language!

And for those that are not from the South but have lived here for a long
time, all y'all need a sign to hang on y'alls front porch that reads "I ain't
from the South, but I got here as fast as I could."

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !

Now...... Shugah, share this with someone who was raised in the South or wish
they had been!

If you're a Northern transplant, Bless your little heart, fake it.
We know you got here as fast as you could
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