It's 4:30am and I cannot sleep. When I close my eyes, she goes through my mind. When I sit up, I still think about her.I have no appetite, my mind is shot and I have this sick feeling in my stomach that I cannot get rid of. I just have this constant 24 hour reminder of what I used to have.
Her scent is still fresh and I thirst for her love. I just wish I could wake up and hear her say "Honey. It was just a bad dream". Then she would put her arm around me, kiss my forehead and I would go back to sleep with a smile. Instead, I have to face this f**ked up nightmare all by myself.
I often wonder how things would have worked out if I had everything going on. If I had the strength I used to have. Should I have just looked out for myself this year so this girl of my dreams would never see a weakness? Then again, If she couldnt understand this and want to be here to help me through it, How was she ever the girl of my dreams in the first place?
What happens when I move on and make this perfect little American Dream life for myself? How do I know this one is not like the last one? Can I honestly believe her if she says she would have loved me the same then or back when I had nothing and really needed her to help me get through the bad weather? I mean how do you know how people really are unless they fought it with you? I guess this is something I will never know.
Life is full of ups and downs, we all learn through living..........if it doesn´t work out, you´ll learn something new....if it does work out, you´ll be glad you took the chance...
Life is for living, not for dreaming.....hindsight is a powerful tool.....
Wow. I feel for you buddy, I really do. I lived what you are going through for almost 2 years. I was with a girl for about 10 years (off and on) She was a troubled girl, had some demons in her life to deal with but she was beating them. She was getting better. Everything was finally coming together, we were going to make it. But that was not to be. You never know why, but God chose to take her away from me. I went through hell for a long, long time. Everything reminded me of her, every song, every friend, everything in my life had a piece of her in it. I wanted to go join her..but couldn't. You just have to carry on, find new things to live for. It just takes time..lots and lots of time..but you do heal. It's been over 2 years now and only now do I believe there's room in my heart for another. I know that God may take her away from me too..but I can't stand being lonly the rest of my life. Love is a gamble, sometimes you lose, but you have to keep trying. Hang in there buddy, it will get better in time, I promise.
when another person becomes what u eat sleep and breath for, its hard to go through the day without having them in it! But it does get easier and u will find that in time u will think less about her.
life is never going to be easy but if it was meant to be then u would still be together. I truly believe that there is a plan for us all,,,,even though at times that plan can seem f**k** up...it will all work out in the end.
the hard times will remind u of how special the good times are and the good times will remind u that u will get through the bad times!
I been there,I know how you feel,The thing that helped me is you can't make someone love you and you have to respect that, it may hurt but I know you will pull through,don't give up.
ltlmstroubleMilton Keynes, Buckinghamshire, England UK1,635 posts
Most of us have been through something like this. It hurts and shakes your confidence and makes you want to step off the planet.
I am trying to get through the same thing right now. It is an uphill struggle and is the hardest thing I've ever had to do including beating an illness.
Family and friends help, even being silly out here makes things easier.
Don't stick pencils in your ears! It won't work Seriously, Never judge your new mate based off your old one. Just appreciate what you have, look for the qualities that your last relationship was lacking.
You shouldn't forget the times you shared with her and your heart won't let you. But, I can offer this and it's true..with time if you allow, your heart will heal itself and the days will become easier to bear.
This one isn't the last one unless you decide that you are giving up. I don't think someone with the big heart you seem to have is going to do that. I know the pain seems unbearable and right now you don't even want to entertain the possibilities of going on, but in time, given time, you will find more likely than not you will be ready to try again.
Until then be kind to yourself, get to know yourself inside and out, know what you want, don't want, need vs. don't need, learn who YOU are and cultivate the person you are into the person you are MEANT to be. When the time comes you will be everything you need to be to have a healthy, thriving, rewarding relationship and the woman who gets you will be richly blessed.
It does get better and it goes get easier, give it time and that's the honest truth.
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Her scent is still fresh and I thirst for her love. I just wish I could wake up and hear her say "Honey. It was just a bad dream". Then she would put her arm around me, kiss my forehead and I would go back to sleep with a smile. Instead, I have to face this f**ked up nightmare all by myself.
I often wonder how things would have worked out if I had everything going on. If I had the strength I used to have. Should I have just looked out for myself this year so this girl of my dreams would never see a weakness? Then again, If she couldnt understand this and want to be here to help me through it, How was she ever the girl of my dreams in the first place?
What happens when I move on and make this perfect little American Dream life for myself? How do I know this one is not like the last one? Can I honestly believe her if she says she would have loved me the same then or back when I had nothing and really needed her to help me get through the bad weather? I mean how do you know how people really are unless they fought it with you? I guess this is something I will never know.