two dogs on a bus going to a dog show a beautiful french poodle and a dirty mongrel
poodle says what are you doing on public transport mongrel says I'm going to the dawg show she says but look at the state of you you smell , you've got mange & you've got fleas you won't get a thing at the dog show he says we'll be on the same bus going home, frenchie we'll see oo get's what an' oo don't
so on the bus going home
she says What did I tell you, look at me two firsts , a second & a highly commended he says that's nothing, I've had two fights three f..ks and I'm highly delighted
cheshiremanstockport, Greater Manchester, England UK439 posts
A farmer decides its once again time to buy a young rooster, the old rooster is getting a bit past it. The young rooster taunts the older bird saying your time is up my friend, the hens are all mine from now on. The old rooster looks at him and says, "i'll tell you what, if you can catch me in a race around the farmhouse you can have them, but seeing as you are so much younger than me, how about giving me a ten yard start?" "No problem" replied the young rooster and off they went. The farmer sitting on his porch observed the chase, the younger bird catching up on the old rooster. On the second lap of the farmhouse the young bird had caught up as was just about to pass the old bird. Then BANG, the farmer had blasted the young bird to pieces with his shotgun. The old bird smirks and thinks to himself, it works every time. The farmer looks up at the heavens and thinks....just my luck...another gay rooster.
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Judging Others
An elephant asked a camel,
"Why are your breasts on your back?"
"Well," says the camel,
"I think that's a strange question
From somebody whose wiener is on his face.