I don't know how to phrase this. Well, i have this 22 year old finnish friend. She got married at 20 to an ex convict African American who says he won't work. They have a child and this girl works two jobs as she is the sole bread winner! Ok, i am not perfect and i don't mean to judge but am i wrong to think she is being used? I am really trying to avoid her because i am afraid that one day i just might give my unsolicited opinion. They say they are in love and all but i don't see how a grown up 34 yr old man will say " i'm not doing no odd jobs, hell how am i supposed to explain that to my moms?". Like that would be harder to explain than confessing to doing crime! My question is, am i wrong not to want to hang out with her?
Any "Man" who wont work to support his woman and provide for his child is a waste of space. Love is blind. Maybe not hanging out for a while may make her cop on some.
You have the choice in who you hang out with. And he's a loser for not providing for his family. Just because he's an ex con doesn't mean he can't get a job. The boi needs to step up and take responsibility. Yes it's harder for an ex con to get a job, but there are those that will hire them. He just needs to apply. Keep your chin up hun. If she's blind, it's not your fault or problem.
Thanks alot and i do agree it's not my problem that's why i've never given her my opinion regarding the whole scenario. Thing is i'm trying to avoid her and not sure i am being fair in doing so.
Also, the guy not being able to work is not because of his past, it's because as he says " odd jobs aren't for me" The girl works so hard with waitressing and nanny jobs. One of the other reasons i am trying to avoid her is because she seems so naive it's annoying. The guy will make corny remarks about things he shouldn't in her presence.
One time he said "Thank God for these females, we men would have it so hard without their financial support, anyway, i'd rather be on welfare than go do those kinds of jobs" When he sees mixed race kids speaking in finnish he says "Man , that's a sell out right there, i don't want my son speaking no finnish!"
She sits there and says absolutely nothing! She seems plain dumb!
Its hard when you care about someone to you care about, He sounds like a bum and she will need your friendship, we should not abandon people we care about because they make poor judgements. One day she will see the light!
What are friends for. I was in the same situation and once my friend said something it caused me to take a reality check and change the situation. Of course I was in denial for awhile but we are not perfect and I got mad at her for butting in but I know she did it because she knew I was worth more than what I had! We are still best friends!
I agree. I especially hate it when 'some' older men will try to manipulate women who haven't really matured. Take for instance this friend of mine. She got pregnant and married at 20. At 22, she still can't stand up for herself when her man is talking 'smart'
I'm not saying no one should get married at 20, people are different and some mature early, however, i just think that we make worse choices at that age than when older.
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Well, i have this 22 year old finnish friend. She got married at 20 to an ex convict African American who says he won't work. They have a child and this girl works two jobs as she is the sole bread winner!
Ok, i am not perfect and i don't mean to judge but am i wrong to think she is being used? I am really trying to avoid her because i am afraid that one day i just might give my unsolicited opinion. They say they are in love and all but i don't see how a grown up 34 yr old man will say " i'm not doing no odd jobs, hell how am i supposed to explain that to my moms?". Like that would be harder to explain than confessing to doing crime! My question is, am i wrong not to want to hang out with her?