Is it just me?? (23)
It sounds to me like you're doing the right thing - taking time for yourself while keeping an eye out for someone else. When you're ready to add someone into your list - to make it "OUR list" instead of "MY list" - it will happen.
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Hi Babes.....I can relate to every inch of what you wrote. I have three children two flown the nest and one taking care of me.....Lol
No but seriously it's just her and me and it's great. I get to do what I want when I want with who I want any time I want.
So im not so sure anymore if I would make a potential good partner either.
But hey I tank my blessings every day for the way that it is...
No but seriously it's just her and me and it's great. I get to do what I want when I want with who I want any time I want.
So im not so sure anymore if I would make a potential good partner either.
But hey I tank my blessings every day for the way that it is...
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Oh, I meant to add that any guy that's upset about three children and stretch marks should be thrown back anyway! 
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Haha Awww thanks you two, you've made me smile (through my coughing and nose blowing)
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Plus I had a look at your photo's and your a babe.....any man would be very lucky to have you in their life......and au naturale too..... 
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haha noo Im not a babe (truly).. PLENTY of pics went in the recycle bin before I got those 
But thank you
But thank you
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It's just you.... You are fine, keep doing what you're doing
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Think there are a lot of women that feel exactly like you do......I know that I do.......
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Exactly !
Especially this part
*I* like the TV control (haha).. I like to stay on the beach until 10pm (having a BBQ with the kids) and not have someone calling me going.. 'I'm home.. where the hell are you? wheres my dinner??' grrrrr. I like to travel often, and do anything I want.
I don't want to have to answer to anyone and when my kids were little, didn't want anyone undermining me or telling them what to do.
Good for you
Especially this part
*I* like the TV control (haha).. I like to stay on the beach until 10pm (having a BBQ with the kids) and not have someone calling me going.. 'I'm home.. where the hell are you? wheres my dinner??' grrrrr. I like to travel often, and do anything I want.
I don't want to have to answer to anyone and when my kids were little, didn't want anyone undermining me or telling them what to do.
Good for you
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Thanks for the replies everyone, It's so good to see im not the only one who thinks like that, and also that people do think its 'normal' ...
I was beginning to think I was going to turn into a gnarly bitter old spinster..
I was beginning to think I was going to turn into a gnarly bitter old spinster..
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oddly enough i was just talking about this to a friend last night. i split with my ex a few months ago and for the first time in my life i find myself living alone (except when my kids come to stay). i'm finding that i quite enjoy doing the things i want to do without having to consider how a partner/flatmate will react/feel. i can go out after work without having to answer to anyone and leave the toilet seat up till eternity. i too see my friends having fights with their partners and they often seem so unhappy. there's loads to be said about being single. 
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**and leave the toilet seat up till eternity**
** i too see my friends having fights with their partners and they often seem so unhappy. there's loads to be said about being single**
Yup there certainly is
(Oo this is hard without being able to do 'quotes')
** i too see my friends having fights with their partners and they often seem so unhappy. there's loads to be said about being single**
Yup there certainly is
(Oo this is hard without being able to do 'quotes')
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Being new in the dating scene and recently dumped, I think your awesome.. I hope to get to that part where i am not out on every dating site, writing to guys who end up being flakes or just leave and not write anymore. Its a hard world out there sistah and I think you found your peace.. good on you!!! 
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That is called being independent. Is it bad? No, it's your prerogative, and I believe you're entitled
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It gets worse when you've been single for 20 + years like me. Needing a constant someone becomes a bother so then you realize when the one comes along he'll be THE ONE cause he can accept the independence you have and the neediness you dont have. That makes a good partner.
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the question is,have we built so many walls or barriers, to revel in our freedoms, that we now find it hard to find the entrance to allow another in. or even the exit to allow ourselves out? I have become so jaded, that people who want to know me, don't see me as approachable. And I can't let my guards down so as to present myself as approachable.
So, I will spend the rest of my life alone..BUT...I sure do have my independence
So, I will spend the rest of my life alone..BUT...I sure do have my independence
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You remind me of that Gwen Stefani song, "Simple Kind of Life," where she sings about becoming more selfish as she ages.
Lately, I've been thinking much along the lines that you are above (though I'm a lot older than you, which I think gives me a better excuse ). Having control over things in your life really can become pretty addictive, I'm starting to realize. Just simple things like when you go to bed or the television shows you watch. When I was married, we never could agree on when to sleep, and for my wife it was lengthy, almost theatrical production -- a half-hour removing make-up, half-hour shower, thirty or forty minutes of post-shower clean-up and cream application, lights flashing on and off during it all -- while for me going to bed consists of removing my clothes, turning off the light, and closing my eyes (perhaps five minutes, all told). Or going somewhere -- another huge production from my wife to get ready (after which we were almost invariably late to wherever we were going) -- whereas I change clothes, maybe trim my beard or brush my teeth, and am out the door in ten or fifteen minutes.
Of course, different ideas about time was part of our incompatibility. I'm just saying that though I was completely devastated during and after our separation, I have begun to enjoy having control over my life in many little ways. When I want to go somewhere, I arrive on time (I'm the punctual type), with minimal hassle; I watch the movies or TV programs I like; I go to bed when I'm tired, and without lights flashing in my eyes; I spend money on the things I want, but have a budget, as opposed to constantly running up credit card debt. Etc.
I know that being with someone inevitably involves some compromise, but like you, that's becoming less and less appealing with the passage of time. Perhaps if you find someone who naturally enjoys the same kind of "life-flow" (for lack of a better word) as you, these kinds of problems wouldn't occur, and mostly only the good things about being with somebody -- and there can be countless good things! -- come through? One can always dream...
A
Lately, I've been thinking much along the lines that you are above (though I'm a lot older than you, which I think gives me a better excuse
). Having control over things in your life really can become pretty addictive, I'm starting to realize. Just simple things like when you go to bed or the television shows you watch. When I was married, we never could agree on when to sleep, and for my wife it was lengthy, almost theatrical production -- a half-hour removing make-up, half-hour shower, thirty or forty minutes of post-shower clean-up and cream application, lights flashing on and off during it all -- while for me going to bed consists of removing my clothes, turning off the light, and closing my eyes (perhaps five minutes, all told). Or going somewhere -- another huge production from my wife to get ready (after which we were almost invariably late to wherever we were going) -- whereas I change clothes, maybe trim my beard or brush my teeth, and am out the door in ten or fifteen minutes.Of course, different ideas about time was part of our incompatibility. I'm just saying that though I was completely devastated during and after our separation, I have begun to enjoy having control over my life in many little ways. When I want to go somewhere, I arrive on time (I'm the punctual type), with minimal hassle; I watch the movies or TV programs I like; I go to bed when I'm tired, and without lights flashing in my eyes; I spend money on the things I want, but have a budget, as opposed to constantly running up credit card debt. Etc.
I know that being with someone inevitably involves some compromise, but like you, that's becoming less and less appealing with the passage of time. Perhaps if you find someone who naturally enjoys the same kind of "life-flow" (for lack of a better word) as you, these kinds of problems wouldn't occur, and mostly only the good things about being with somebody -- and there can be countless good things! -- come through? One can always dream...
A
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well thought out!!
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You are content for now, but when that special person comes into your Life, he will take down that wall brick by brick
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Created: Oct 2007
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I have been out for dinner with a few people, and almost started a relationship with someone who panicked at the idea of three children. :: rolls eyes :: But as someone said on one of the other posts I seem to only attract the people (for whatever reason) I'm not attracted too.. and the people I like (in real life too) don't seem to be interested in me.
Some times I wonder if im just too fussy and expect too much. (but maybe I don't )
The thing I wanted to say was that I have realised over these years that I have become incredibly selfish with MY time. I like to do what I want when *I* want.. and wont be told what to do by anyone. (anymore)
*I* like the TV control (haha).. I like to stay on the beach until 10pm (having a BBQ with the kids) and not have someone calling me going.. 'I'm home.. where the hell are you? wheres my dinner??' grrrrr. I like to travel often, and do anything I want.
I sit back and watch my friends having problems in their relationships, and think phew! thank god that's not me... I just cant be bothered by all the hassle of having to consider anyone else other than my children.
I was 'bottom of the list' to my husband during my marriage.. and after my children I LIKE being top of MY list.
For a long time I joined every dating site I could find, but I think I made myself look completely desperate to prospective 'dates/ partners' (which I do understand, as that would put ME off too haha)..
Im not even sure why I'm writing this.. I got an email the other day saying someone had messaged me and it reminded me I was 'signed up' here.. so I came for another 'half hearted' look.
Why have I become so selfish? Is it just me? I just think I've totally given up now.. not defeated and 'poor old me' ... I just don't think I will ever find anyone to put up with all of that.. so now I just don't even let myself get into a situation where I may get hurt...
I think if anything I've become quite cold and spikey towards potential partners, and tend to slam the door shut before anything even gets off the ground. Do you think if I DID meet the right person I would become 'unselfish' again?
haha gawdd listen to me.. I just re read that. I've just come back from a holiday.. my body clock is all messed up AND I have a stinking cold.. so I suppose im not in the best frame of mind at the moment..
So if you managed to read down this far.. well done you!