An Australian ventriloquist visiting New Zealand, walks into a small village and sees a local sitting on his porch patting his dog.
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi "G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?" Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie." Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?" Dog: "Doin' all right." Kiwi: (look of extreme shock) Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager) Dog: "Yep" Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?" Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play." Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief) Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?" Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think." Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?" Horse: "Cool" Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded) Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager) Horse: "Yep" Ventriloquist: How does he treat you? Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Kiwi: (total look of amazement) Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?" Kiwi: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar."
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
He figures he'll have a little fun, so he says to the Kiwi "G'day, mind if I talk to your dog?"
Villager: "The dog doesn't talk, you stupid Aussie."
Ventriloquist: "Hello dog, how's it going mate?"
Dog: "Doin' all right."
Kiwi: (look of extreme shock)
Ventriloquist: "Is this villager your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Dog: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: "How does he treat you?"
Dog: "Real good. He walks me twice a day, feeds me great food and takes me to the lake once a week to play."
Kiwi: (look of utter disbelief)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your horse?"
Kiwi: "Uh, the horse doesn't talk either....I think."
Ventriloquist: "Hey horse, how's it going?"
Horse: "Cool"
Kiwi: (absolutely dumbfounded)
Ventriloquist: "Is this your owner?" (pointing at the villager)
Horse: "Yep"
Ventriloquist: How does he treat you?
Horse: "Pretty good, thanks for asking. He rides me regularly, brushes me down often and keeps me in the barn to protect me from the elements."
Kiwi: (total look of amazement)
Ventriloquist: "Mind if I talk to your sheep?"
Kiwi: (in a panic) "The sheep's a liar."