Cat humor... ( Archived) (23)

Ok, laugh it up.
I hear it's good for you.


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Things CATS Must Try To Remember:

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*Screaming at the can of food will not make it open itself.

**I shouldn't assume the patio door is open when I race outside to chase leaves.

*If I put a live mouse in my food bowl, I should not expect it to stay there until I get hungry.

**The guinea pig likes to sleep once in a while. I will not watch him constantly.

*If I bite the cactus, it will bite back.

*I will not stand on the bathroom counter, stare down the hall, and growl at nothing right after my human has finished watching "The X-Files".

*Television and computer screens do not exist to backlight my lovely tail.

*No matter how dangly and attractive they are, my human's earrings are not cat toys.

*If I play 'dead cat on the stairs' while people are trying to bring in groceries or laundry, one of these days it will really come true.

*My human is capable of cooking bacon and eggs without my help.

*The canned cat food is already dead. I do not need to kill it by swatting bits of it all over the floor or picking it up with my mouth and shaking it from side to side.

*I am a carnivore. Potted plants are not meat.

*I will never be able to walk on the ceiling, and staring up the wall and screaming at it will not bring it any closer.

*It is not a good idea to try to lap up the powdered creamer before it all dissolves in the boiling coffee.

*The goldfish likes living in water and must be allowed to remain in its bowl.

*If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece. She will notice if I start eating it from the other end.

*I cannot leap through closed windows to catch birds outside.

*The large dog in the back yard has lived there for six years. I will not freak out every time I see it.

*I am a neutered cat, not a peacock, and prancing around with my tail fluffed up will not make my balls grow back.

*If I must give a present to my humans's overnight guests, my toy mouse is much more socially acceptable than a live cockroach, even if it isn't as tasty.

*Just because I hear voices in my head, I do not have to answer them!

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What a dog thinks about his master:
He loves me, he feeds and waters me, he takes care of me. He must be a god.

What a cat thinks about his master:
He loves me, he feeds and waters me, he takes care of me. I must be a god.


~^w^

LOL

What a dog thinks about his master:
He loves me, he feeds and waters me, he takes care of me. He must be a god.

What a cat thinks about his master:
He loves me, he feeds and waters me, he takes care of me. I must be a god.

So true!!!

Ok, now that's cat humor!
I can see his little whiskers parted ever so slightly as he laughs.

Spicey...so many of those are so true...lol My black cat keeps going over to one of the walls and meowing at it...lol She also likes to play "dead cat" in the middle of the floor....mind you, when the lights are out, she blends in real good.

Can we also add...
No matter how much I put my toy mice in the water bowl, they will never learn to swm. (that's my parents cats...lol)

Oh, very nice!
Everyone should add their own stories...

Go for it!

The black one also thinks she's a masuess (don't think I spelled the right)....she'll get on the back of the couch & "knead" my shoulders...it gets worse if I wear perfume, she ends up licking my neck...lol

Geez I need a guy...lol

since i am owned by 2 cats i loved it

All to true i particualy liked

If my human wants to share her sandwich with me, she will give me a piece. She will notice if I start eating it from the other end.

Have a look at "My cat hates you" on line some great photos there