Sex Frogs! ( Archived) (15)

A blonde, goes to her local pet store in search of an exotic pet. As she looks about the store, she notices a box full of live frogs. The sign says: "Sex Frogs! Only £20 each! Comes with complete instructions." The girl excitedly looks around to see if anybody's watching her. She whispers softly to the man behind the counter, "I'll take one." As the man packages the frog, he quietly says to her, "Just follow the instructions!" The blonde nods, grabs the box, and is quickly on her way home. As soon as she closes the door to her apartment, she Opens the instructions and reads them very carefully. She does exactly whatis specified: 1. Take a shower. 2. Splash on some nice perfume. 3. Slip into a very sexy nightie. 4. Crawl into bed and place the frog down beside you and allow the frog to do what he has been trained to do. She then quickly gets into bed with the frog and to her surprise nothing happens! The blonde is very disappointed and quite upset at this point. She re-reads the instructions and notices at the bottom of the paper it says, "If you have any problems or questions, please call the pet store." So, she calls the pet store. The man says, "I'll be right over." Within minutes, the man is ringing her doorbell. The blonde welcomes him in and says, "See, I've done everything according to the instructions. The damn frog just sits there." The man, looking very concerned, picks up the frog, stares directly into its eyes and sternly says: "Listen to me! I'm only going to show you how to do this once!

ANOTHER ONE PLEASE......

poor frog .....

A store that sells new husbands has just opened in New York
City, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the
instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store
operates:
You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the
value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the
flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor,
or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back
down except to exit the building!
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the
first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs.

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the
sign
reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.

"That's nice", she thinks, "but I want more."

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good
Looking.

"Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good
Looking and Help With Housework.

"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"

Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous,
Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where
the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no
men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women
are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband
Store.

PLEASE NOTE:

To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New
Wives store just across the street.

The first floor has wives that love sex.

The second floor has wives that love sex and have money.

The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been
visited.

Have seen this joke many times, but it never included the part regarding the Wives Store.

Nice one mate!!

ya a nice addition

great addition .... would not make the ladies feel any better though, .... watch out for those forks ! .........

Come up and see me sometime

~~~LMAO




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For what to be forked!