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Getting even? ( Archived) (9)

Jan 16, 2008 6:27 PM CST Getting even?
dazzling_dave
dazzling_davedazzling_daveWaynesboro, Virginia USA7 Threads 2,686 Posts
I never quite figured out why the s*xual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

Seeing my puzzled look, she responded by saying, 'Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'OK, that's fine, honey.' She
was almost nearing s*xual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go
to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel
like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch enough with my financial needs as a man for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I can buy
you?'
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Jan 16, 2008 6:29 PM CST Getting even?
vonney
vonneyvonneyDublin, Ireland32 Threads 9,360 Posts
In response to: my girlfriend and I were getting into bed



Surely you mean ex girlfriend after thatlaugh
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Jan 16, 2008 6:38 PM CST Getting even?
constanza
constanzaconstanzaLA, California USA30 Threads 1 Polls 6,489 Posts
Please allow me to say that not all women are this way, at all grin laugh
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Jan 16, 2008 6:39 PM CST Getting even?
dazzling_dave
dazzling_davedazzling_daveWaynesboro, Virginia USA7 Threads 2,686 Posts
Neither are all men. tongue
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Jan 16, 2008 6:43 PM CST Getting even?
constanza
constanzaconstanzaLA, California USA30 Threads 1 Polls 6,489 Posts
But I as a woman do equate love with effort and some sacrifice on his part.
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Jan 16, 2008 6:48 PM CST Getting even?
FlowerOfTheSnow
FlowerOfTheSnowFlowerOfTheSnowMalaga, Andalusia Spain25 Threads 3,008 Posts
dazzling_dave: I never quite figured out why the s*xual urge of men and women differ so
much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have
never figured out why men think with their head and women with their
heart.

FOR EXAMPLE:
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well,
the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, 'I don't feel like
it, I just want you to hold me.'

I said, 'WHAT??!! What was that?!'
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

'You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me
to satisfy your physical needs as a man.'

Seeing my puzzled look, she responded by saying, 'Can't you just love me
for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?'
Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big
unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to
take, so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to
compliment her new clothes, so I said, 'Lets get a pair for each outfit.'

We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck.

I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis
bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her for a loop when I said, 'OK, that's fine, honey.' She
was almost nearing s*xual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling
with anticipation, she finally said, 'I think this is all dear, let's go
to the cashier.'

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, 'No honey, I don't feel
like it.'
Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled,
'WHAT?'

I then said, 'Honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while.
You're just not in touch enough with my financial needs as a man for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.'

And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
'Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I can buy
you?'



rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing The old ones are the best!!! (Jokes not blokes!!! Although some older blokes are also the best!!!)
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Jan 16, 2008 6:59 PM CST Getting even?
thewall2
thewall2thewall2montreal, Quebec Canada68 Threads 13,392 Posts
YOU know what happens when you try to get EVEN?

YOU GET.....EVEN WORSE.

PHYSICALLY,
MENTALLY,
AND SPIRITUALLY.
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Jan 16, 2008 10:09 PM CST Getting even?
Indyfella
IndyfellaIndyfellaindianapolis, Indiana USA230 Threads 9 Polls 27,698 Posts
Was that based on a true story? laugh
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Jan 16, 2008 10:13 PM CST Getting even?
dazzling_dave
dazzling_davedazzling_daveWaynesboro, Virginia USA7 Threads 2,686 Posts
Indyfella: Was that based on a true story?


I'm sure somewhere, someone did this. laugh
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