Falling In Virtual Love... ( Archived) (45)

The intensity of emotions that arise in the electronic area has important ramifications on any person who has any feelings, even if the number of marriages based on virtual meetings that you've heard about in the media or online isn't so surprising, I know people who met on the telephone -- one was the receptionist where the other worked. The speed with which one can develop a love relationship with someone whose voice one has never heard is impressive. They are formed in virtual space, and they happen all the time. I don't know people with any emotional openness who haven't experienced it at least once.

I won't make a list here of my own experiences -- their handles don't mean anything, for the most part. But all these passions, these hopes (not always shared), these pains, still are with me; sometimes, when I think about one of those people, I remember all the emotions from those virtual feelings that I went through.

Whether we met them online or by e-mail, whether we started on CS or on Msn/Yahoo or you name it, each of these feelings exists today, like a permanent tattoo.

When finding yourself physically with a person with whom you've shared the craziest feelings, the first move still seems like a big jump. If you don't make that leap, if you never dare to cross that line, you are torn up with the frustration that each has allowed to build. When there's been a virtual feeling, it can become a real love, but you can't just say ``Oh, let's just be friends.''.
But life cannot be so virtual once it's been real. A misunderstanding on the Internet can become the excuse for a heartless and cruel breakup. The world online is powerful and fantastic, not magic.

What's your point about virtual feelings?

Oh, Sweetie. I can't tell you how right on you are here. I met my love here on CS. He was to come to visit me this month. Instead, in the past week he's been notified that he's being deployed to Iraq. He leaves during the night tonight.

I'm surprised and delighted at the intense feelings I have for this wonderful man that I have come to know. It's so different than dating in R/L. Instead of learning the superficial things about him, I've been learning about his heart and his soul.

Today is one of the most difficult days of my life. I've finally met this incredible man, whom I have the utmost love, respect and friendship for, yet he's leaving. Though it isn't by his doing, saying good bye to him today was one of the most difficult things I've ever done.

It's hard for even us to understand the feelings that we can have for someone we've never seen face to face, or touched. Yet the feelings are there. Our hearts have been laid bare. Our souls have been shared. This is the man that I love.

So, not by choice, but by circumstance, it will be many months before we stand before one another and look into each others eyes, and physically touch the body housing the heart and soul that we've grown to love. These are the things that I love. I am not familiar with his physical presence, just the features I see in pictures. But I look in the eyes and I know that heart and I'm familiar with that soul that is peeking back at me.


So, to answer your question, hun, virtual feelings are feelings nonetheless. It isn't our choice not to touch and feel, however, we can still have the love and feelings we would have had, had we had that opportunity to have our visit in a few weeks.

What a wonderful post Dana, thanks for sharing No need to mention I wish you the best Sweet Lady for you deserve it
Yeah, marvelous when the real takes the step on the virtual, I am really convinced about it. No doubts.

WOW, I am impressed.
Wishing I could be as fortunate

All happens when its unexpected one says.... Smile

Very perceptive of you; probably also very empathetic aren't you. It is as you have said; emotional openness allows virtual emotions to seep into ones open mind. The key is understanding exactly what the word, the concept of "virtual" means; it is not real; it is a facsimile that's all until one's imagination, one's wishful thinking, one's hopes, dreams, desires and fantasies start embroidering it layer upon layer...and the more unreal it all becomes. As captivating as it seems to be, it is still not real. There are still far more disappointments and broken hearts from this bizarre phenomenon than happy successful meetings. Open doors, like open hearts and minds invite a multitude of possibilities which usually complicate one's life; the odds are against anything positive let alone "magical" happening...sometimes it is in one's interest and peace of mind not to wander down those roads less travelled but stick to the highways of Life . It is a very personal choice and certainly one way to know you are indeed alive is to feel the pains of disappointments...Joy/ Happiness is only one side of the coin...

I told someone the other day - and this is short and sweet. I can't fall tryly in love online, but I can fall in love with the IDEA of falling in love with someone.

tryly? What the hell is tryly. Truly. Typos. I hate 'em.

The Internet has its share of love and heartache. With so many people using the Internet, chances are great that you will find your mate, provided you use common sense, a lot of patience, and a willingness to take a budding online relationship into the real world.
My biggest discovery about this way to meet people is that those people use it to be warm, natural, and spontaneous. The virtual world is not cold and insensitive -- but the opposite....
This kind of spontaneity, and these kinds of gestures of real friendship, were and are still common occurrences in online forums/chatlines. This kind of human bonding that our urban ways of life have forced us to lose, and which the electronic agora is rebuilding, gives me confidence that a humanity that manifests in this way will always come back to fundamental values.