Hell! People what it is with TRUST thing? (38)
Depends Koni...
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Konigsberg: Can you just brush it off your heart and from your mind ... and to be normal and happy persons?
Is it so hard ... to let it go?
Is it so hard ... to let it go?
For me it's been the norm for all my relationships to be like that..I have worked on the trust thing for some time now...and I feel I have made alot of progress...BUT it also stems from trust violations at a young age...So I'm at the point now where it's hard for me to balance...Either I can be too trusting or not trusting enough by times...Mostly it's the too trusting factor though now...It took me alot of years to get to this place though so I can understand why some people simply find it hard to trust...BUT that means they need to work on it!!!!!!!!
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Konigsberg: Can you just brush it off your heart and from your mind ... and to be normal and happy persons?
Is it so hard ... to let it go?
Is it so hard ... to let it go?
Not really....but hard.
Koni.
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Detente: Depends Koni...
Depends?! on what? ............. and why
Oh Wise one ? 
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I am a glass is half full, happy go lucky generally optimistic person.. and I am forgiving.. but even I can't escape the fact that people don't always behave in a way that warrants respect and trust... trust and respect have to be earned...
I think in fact it is normal and healthy to hold a little back until you are sure of the other person... damage limitation
I think in fact it is normal and healthy to hold a little back until you are sure of the other person... damage limitation
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Hugz_n_Kissez: For me it's been the norm for all my relationships to be like that..I have worked on the trust thing for some time now...and I feel I have made alot of progress...BUT it also stems from trust violations at a young age...So I'm at the point now where it's hard for me to balance...Either I can be too trusting or not trusting enough by times...Mostly it's the too trusting factor though now...It took me alot of years to get to this place though so I can understand why some people simply find it hard to trust...BUT that means they need to work on it!!!!!!!!
Trust is a sacred thing to me mainly because I haven't had alot of people in my life that I could trust...That's why I take such a hardline when it comes to people violating my trust!!!!!!!!
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Konigsberg: Depends?! on what? ............. and why Oh Wise one ?
On the attitude of the offender.
Yes we should divest ourselves of resentment at the earliest oppurtunity, otherwise it becomes self destructive.
But to simply welcome them back into our lives with open arms? Nope...
Prudency surely dictates that we exercise caution...we 'test' the waters so to speak.
Does that make sense, or is it too cerebral?
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Konigsberg: Can you just brush it off your heart and from your mind ... and to be normal and happy persons?
Is it so hard ... to let it go?
Is it so hard ... to let it go?
I forget really fast when I have no other choice.
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Hugz_n_Kissez: For me it's been the norm for all my relationships to be like that..I have worked on the trust thing for some time now...and I feel I have made alot of progress...BUT it also stems from trust violations at a young age...So I'm at the point now where it's hard for me to balance...Either I can be too trusting or not trusting enough by times...Mostly it's the too trusting factor though now...It took me alot of years to get to this place though so I can understand why some people simply find it hard to trust...BUT that means they need to work on it!!!!!!!!
Exactly ... work on it! Not to keep it on a dusty shelves of our brains... because it will not solve the problem. But do take it out of ... kick it out. People who do fall in love with us ... Do deserve some trusting back as well. Don't you think so?
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Konigsberg: Exactly ... work on it! Not to keep it on a dusty shelves of our brains... because it will not solve the problem. But do take it out of ... kick it out. People who do fall in love with us ... Do deserve some trusting back as well. Don't you think so?
Yes they do...most certainly and that's where becoming the person first that you want to find comes in...If you want trust...you need to be a trustworthy and trustful person!!!!!!!!!
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lusciousmile: People with trust issues are mad? You don't sound very trusting either, by the way.
Read it properly again without jumping to conclusions!! I said there mad, i didn't say anything about trust.
I just said some are not normal.
I know who to trust and who's full of crap as well
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constanza: I forget really fast when I have no other choice.
By that I mean I am practical; I move on, and no, my new partner will not be paying the price of my past failures. I see him as a new person in my life, deserving of respect and the opportunity to show me who he is and what he feels for me.
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oh yes, it certainly is very difficult to let your guard down, especially when you've already been the victim - on more than one occasion. i don't trust ANYONE until i've spent some time with them and they've convinced me that they're worthy.
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Konigsberg: Can you just brush it off your heart and from your mind ... and to be normal and happy persons?
Is it so hard ... to let it go?
Is it so hard ... to let it go?
You can trust completely when you've finally decided you are loved completely, I think. Well, maybe not completely, but *fundamentally* (there's always some little secret or secrets that other people hold back, but you can still rely on them fundamentally if they love you).
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RobbieM: Read it properly again without jumping to conclusions!! I said there mad, i didn't say anything about trust.
I just said some are not normal.
I know who to trust and who's full of crap as well
I just said some are not normal.
I know who to trust and who's full of crap as well
Clearly! Good on you!
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constanza: By that I mean I am practical; I move on, and no, my new partner will not be paying the price of my past failures. I see him as a new person in my life, deserving of respect and the opportunity to show me who he is and what he feels for me.
Baggage is not at all light.
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Ambrose2007: You can trust completely when you've finally decided you are loved completely, I think. Well, maybe not completely, but *fundamentally* (there's always some little secret or secrets that other people hold back, but you can still rely on them fundamentally if they love you).
Yes until someone has given you the reasons to know that...It's up in the air...which is always a hard place to be...one of the hardest places for me to be is in the beginning of a new relationship because it takes time to know the person..if it's gonna go anyplace and if so can you trust the person not to hurt you!!!!!!!!
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constanza: By that I mean I am practical; I move on, and no, my new partner will not be paying the price of my past failures. I see him as a new person in my life, deserving of respect and the opportunity to show me who he is and what he feels for me.
I like your attitude. I have a thought ( I might be wrong) Practical personalities do not get stuck on
unsuccessful relationships. People with more gushy, romantic souls they seems like tend to ponder on Whys? and Hows? Whats? They do torture themself to spiritual death with questions that actualy do not have any reasonable answers.
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Konigsberg: I like your attitude. I have a thought ( I might be wrong) Practical personalities do not get stuck on
unsuccessful relationships. People with more gushy, romantic souls they seems like tend to ponder on Whys? and Hows? Whats? They do torture themself to spiritual death with questions that actualy do not have any reasonable answers.
unsuccessful relationships. People with more gushy, romantic souls they seems like tend to ponder on Whys? and Hows? Whats? They do torture themself to spiritual death with questions that actualy do not have any reasonable answers.
I am very sentimental, but I have had to become also more practical, and I now know better that to waste years on the wrong relationship. I think the learning never stops about ourselves and others.
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Created: Mar 2008
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Is it so hard ... to let it go?