The step factor ( Archived) (22)

Mar 23, 2008 9:28 AM CST The step factor
lusciousmile
lusciousmilelusciousmileThere, Aland Islands Finland25 Threads 2 Polls 11,989 Posts
This is for the divorced or single parents.

Do you ever worry how your prospects would be around your children? Do you have a special way to discern women; the kind that will treat your children the right way and not with ' they are just someone else's kids, not mine' attitude?

I think this could be harder for divorced males.

The reason i ask this, is because i have noticed different ways older women approach me when they think i need some guidance and wondering how it would be between them and say, people a few years younger than i am.

If i was 17, i'd be scared for my step-mother.

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Mar 23, 2008 9:35 AM CST The step factor
lusciousmile
lusciousmilelusciousmileThere, Aland Islands Finland25 Threads 2 Polls 11,989 Posts
A special tribute to Princessforsomeone.


You always have a tasteful way of approaching things and i'm sure you make a great mom. You taught me something a week ago and i'm glad you made it your business to try to guide me that way.

You saved me. wink

bouquet applause
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Mar 23, 2008 9:38 AM CST The step factor
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK107 Threads 9 Polls 15,888 Posts
lusciousmile: A special tribute to Princessforsomeone.You always have a tasteful way of approaching things and i'm sure you make a great mom. You taught me something a week ago and i'm glad you made it your business to try to guide me that way.

You saved me.


Tell me! tell me!.. she always has such good ideas ... devil


laugh
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Mar 23, 2008 9:51 AM CST The step factor
lusciousmile
lusciousmilelusciousmileThere, Aland Islands Finland25 Threads 2 Polls 11,989 Posts
Claayer: Tell me! tell me!.. she always has such good ideas ...


Top secret. giggle

She first asks, listens and then guides me by email and has never tried to judge or crucify me maliciously, in public.


She's mature and a lady by action. thumbs up


I may not have a mother but it is women like her who inspire me. I'm not missing out on anything after all. applause
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Mar 23, 2008 9:52 AM CST The step factor
Aries01
Aries01Aries01Kent, England UK47 Threads 4 Polls 2,732 Posts
Wow Lusc.. ur new photo is stunning!! smile

hug

cheers
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Mar 23, 2008 9:55 AM CST The step factor
lusciousmile
lusciousmilelusciousmileThere, Aland Islands Finland25 Threads 2 Polls 11,989 Posts
Aries01: Wow Lusc.. ur new photo is stunning!!



Thank you girl. That's Raul. (the bunny)


He's asleep now. rolling on the floor laughing

hug
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Mar 23, 2008 10:35 AM CST The step factor
rob10652
rob10652rob10652rocky hill, Connecticut USA23 Posts
Hi Luscious,this topic is not only for divorced parents but also for widowed ones too.Having experienced the latter with 2 young daughters ages 5 and 7 at the time.Me being their dad raising 2 girls is quite a challenging and a learning process for moi.

Going through counselling and therapy have enlighten me ,of both scenarios facing the future as a single parent.

First in a divorce situation, the children always are the ones that suffer the most.Depending on how amicable or bitter the divorce is will determine the extent of the children reactions.This scenario is a tempoarary one which prolong the situation untill adulthood.

In a widowed situation,this condition is considered a permanent one,that is there is no turmoil and fighting between parents.It is a grieving one,where accepting and dealing with reality of facing the future without one parent can be devasting to a child.

With continuous therapy and counselling can only eases the pain at times.

Having said the above one have to consider of placing their children in a situation from whence they come from.Taking a chance of a step parent accepting your children as their own and not showing preferential treatment should be a considered.Sometimes the risk of a single parent is better than a 2 parent scenario.

Considering the pros and cons in raising and developing children ,it is always correct to think of their welfare first and foremost.With continuous counselling and therapy the desired end results can be achieved.
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Mar 23, 2008 10:48 AM CST The step factor
lusciousmile
lusciousmilelusciousmileThere, Aland Islands Finland25 Threads 2 Polls 11,989 Posts
rob10652: Hi Luscious,this topic is not only for divorced parents but also for widowed ones too.Having experienced the latter with 2 young daughters ages 5 and 7 at the time.Me being their dad raising 2 girls is quite a challenging and a learning process for moi.

Going through counselling and therapy have enlighten me ,of both scenarios facing the future as a single parent.

First in a divorce situation, the children always are the ones that suffer the most.Depending on how amicable or bitter the divorce is will determine the extent of the children reactions.This scenario is a tempoarary one which prolong the situation untill adulthood.

In a widowed situation,this condition is considered a permanent one,that is there is no turmoil and fighting between parents.It is a grieving one,where accepting and dealing with reality of facing the future without one parent can be devasting to a child.

With continuous therapy and counselling can only eases the pain at times.

Having said the above one have to consider of placing their children in a situation from whence they come from.Taking a chance of a step parent accepting your children as their own and not showing preferential treatment should be a considered.Sometimes the risk of a single parent is better than a 2 parent scenario.

Considering the pros and cons in raising and developing children ,it is always correct to think of their welfare first and foremost.With continuous counselling and therapy the desired end results can be achieved
.



I guess it's safe to say in your case, that the way to a man's heart, is through his children.
It would be selfish for a parent to put all his/her needs before their children's. I would make them a priority, if i had them.

Thanks for the insightful post Rob. thumbs up beer
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Mar 23, 2008 11:59 AM CST The step factor
rob10652
rob10652rob10652rocky hill, Connecticut USA23 Posts
Thanx Jbidiza...congratulation on a wonderful job...you are worthy of all admiration...and be proudly rewarded... .applause applause wine
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Mar 23, 2008 1:48 PM CST The step factor
Aries01
Aries01Aries01Kent, England UK47 Threads 4 Polls 2,732 Posts
lusciousmile: Thank you girl. That's Raul. (the bunny)He's asleep now.




rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing teddybear
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Mar 23, 2008 1:52 PM CST The step factor
cristina
cristinacristinaLisbon, North Holland Netherlands286 Threads 10 Polls 17,243 Posts
lusciousmile: Thank you girl. That's Raul. (the bunny)He's asleep now.


Raul? what a namerolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

cool
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Mar 23, 2008 2:01 PM CST The step factor
j_goose71
j_goose71j_goose71Over there, USA43 Threads 4 Polls 849 Posts
lusciousmile: This is for the divorced or single parents.

Do you ever worry how your prospects would be around your children? Do you have a special way to discern women; the kind that will treat your children the right way and not with ' they are just someone else's kids, not mine' attitude?

I think this could be harder for divorced males.

The reason i ask this, is because i have noticed different ways older women approach me when they think i need some guidance and wondering how it would be between them and say, people a few years younger than i am.

If i was 17, i'd be scared for my step-mother.


Everyone I've ever met has to go through a rigorous testing phase before they can even MEET my kids. Children, especially mine, are very quick to get attached to someone. In my case, the kids don't have a positive female role model in their lives.

NO ONE will meet my kids until I know FOR SURE that they're a) right for me....and b) right for them.
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Mar 23, 2008 2:28 PM CST The step factor
lusciousmile
lusciousmilelusciousmileThere, Aland Islands Finland25 Threads 2 Polls 11,989 Posts
j_goose71: Everyone I've ever met has to go through a rigorous testing phase before they can even MEET my kids. Children, especially mine, are very quick to get attached to someone. In my case, the kids don't have a positive female role model in their lives.

NO ONE will meet my kids until I know FOR SURE that they're a) right for me....and b) right for them.


I am sure you make a great father Goseeeey.

wink

I think waiting before letting them meet 'a prospect' is rather clever. It wouldn't help for them to get attched to someone who won't be there the next day. ( I'm talking about 1 night stands) roll eyes


laugh hug
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Mar 23, 2008 2:30 PM CST The step factor
lusciousmile
lusciousmilelusciousmileThere, Aland Islands Finland25 Threads 2 Polls 11,989 Posts
jus_4you: It`s not an easy task i` meet a girl hear on CS she was great to my kids as i was to her daughter so much so she would ask her mother daily when i was coming over it took her a little while to come around but eventually i won her afections i even won the afections of her parents she told that i was the best guy she`d ever brought home made me feel ten foot tall, but she treated me like a low life i don`t know of any man that wouldn`t get tired of thatafter three times i broke it off. It broke my boys hearts because they liked to play with her daughter it`s been about two months and my three year old daughter still ask for her. it`s tough finding that girl that will treat you as well as she does your kids


I'm sorry to here that, and hope your kids heal soon. hug
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Mar 23, 2008 2:33 PM CST The step factor
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK107 Threads 9 Polls 15,888 Posts
j_goose71: Everyone I've ever met has to go through a rigorous testing phase before they can even MEET my kids. Children, especially mine, are very quick to get attached to someone. In my case, the kids don't have a positive female role model in their lives.

NO ONE will meet my kids until I know FOR SURE that they're a) right for me....and b) right for them.


Thats just like my kids.. they are like that.. I only have to LOOK at someone and they have us walking up the aisle.
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Mar 23, 2008 2:42 PM CST The step factor
jus_4you
jus_4youjus_4youpleasantville, New Jersey USA62 Threads 676 Posts
lusciousmile: I'm sorry to here that, and hope your kids heal soon.
thanks luscious, my boys have gotten over it but daughter wishes she would come back, my ex has tried to work it out saying she didn`t mean what she said and that it was that she was upset with somebody else, to me it doesn`t justify taking it out on me i`m nobodys punching bag
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Mar 23, 2008 3:59 PM CST The step factor
prncss4someone
prncss4someoneprncss4someoneHopeful, Michigan USA57 Threads 8 Polls 7,227 Posts
lusciousmile: Top secret.

She first asks, listens and then guides me by email and has never tried to judge or crucify me maliciously, in public. She's mature and a lady by action. I may not have a mother but it is women like her who inspire me. I'm not missing out on anything after all.



awwww, how sweet are YOU! That brought tears to my eyes...crying
I have a 22 year old son and never found anyone to be with as he was growing up that would fit into our lifestyle. My son has faced many trials in his young life, some of them jading him-but temporarily, because I was bound and determined not to let this world keep him down. Anger, writing rap that would make anyone's blood curdle to stories that would give you nightmares--patiently went through these forms of artistic impression and now he is in college and is blowing his English teacher away with his depth and command of the language-being a wordmaster that makes you really think. I am very proud of him, and as for his friends, since he was a teenager, I was mom to them-and to this day. It always makes me feel so good when they just give me a hug upon meeting and leaving-my son included. You are a very smart girl, and I think that when become a woman-you will be a wonderful one, in the truest sense of the definition.teddybear hug heart wings
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Mar 23, 2008 4:12 PM CST The step factor
lusciousmile
lusciousmilelusciousmileThere, Aland Islands Finland25 Threads 2 Polls 11,989 Posts
prncss4someone: awwww, how sweet are YOU! That brought tears to my eyes...
I have a 22 year old son and never found anyone to be with as he was growing up that would fit into our lifestyle. My son has faced many trials in his young life, some of them jading him-but temporarily, because I was bound and determined not to let this world keep him down. Anger, writing rap that would make anyone's blood curdle to stories that would give you nightmares--patiently went through these forms of artistic impression and now he is in college and is blowing his English teacher away with his depth and command of the language-being a wordmaster that makes you really think. I am very proud of him, and as for his friends, since he was a teenager, I was mom to them-and to this day. It always makes me feel so good when they just give me a hug upon meeting and leaving-my son included. You are a very smart girl, and I think that when become a woman-you will be a wonderful one, in the truest sense of the definition.


I'm sure your son and friends are proud to be a part of your life.

Thank you again princess. wink


Lots of love.
hug teddybear bouquet
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Mar 23, 2008 4:17 PM CST The step factor
Unfortunaley I am probaly too old to meet a gentleman and get serious with wh has smaller ones.I'd love it.I a very maternal and enjoyed my own,reading books and watchig them have fun at the park.As of now,no chidren and a grandson in another country,no communucation.I persoanally would love to met a man with kid.Of course most that I meet have older ones.

I was in this situation when my son was born till he was 4.Then the man I went with and got engaged too,was his father figure till my son was 14.It was hars for my son and I and my new son,but he was a great dad.I missed out on alot of dating when I hada child for a few years,he came 1st.Then I dated,but strictly away from him,in case it didn't work out.Be so careful all of youGo with the gut instinct and watch and listen.There are many good people out there with their own or have none,but either way they can love you and your kids.teddybear
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Mar 23, 2008 4:22 PM CST The step factor
jus_4you
jus_4youjus_4youpleasantville, New Jersey USA62 Threads 676 Posts
nomindgames: Unfortunaley I am probaly too old to meet a gentleman and get serious with wh has smaller ones.I'd love it.I a very maternal and enjoyed my own,reading books and watchig them have fun at the park.As of now,no chidren and a grandson in another country,no communucation.I persoanally would love to met a man with kid.Of course most that I meet have older ones.

I was in this situation when my son was born till he was 4.Then the man I went with and got engaged too,was his father figure till my son was 14.It was hars for my son and I and my new son,but he was a great dad.I missed out on alot of dating when I hada child for a few years,he came 1st.Then I dated,but strictly away from him,in case it didn't work out.Be so careful all of youGo with the gut instinct and watch and listen.There are many good people out there with their own or have none,but either way they can love you and your kids.
thumbs up hug
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