Long Distance (28)

Anyone else in a long distance relationship, I'm in one now, and although it's working great, the distance is getting to me and because of his schedule for the next month I won't be able to see him much, how do you cope?

One of my rules to stay away from long distance relationship,eventho sometimes it is difficult

THe stress of it all, is not what I want in my life.

But if you are young and a positive attitude, should help you cope especially if you he is worth the wait

He is worth the wait but very stressful, we've been apart for 2 weeks and probably won't see eachother for another week or 2, we talk on the phone every day and send messages, but it is so frustrating, we are talking about moving in together, but he is a province away and because of our situations I'll be the one moving, I don't know anyone in the city except him, and I won't be able to see my family or friends as often as I'd like. Has anyone been in the same situation and how did it work out with you?

I have not been in your situation. And I don't know how long you have known each other. But look at it, as a way to test the strength of the relationship from both sides.

Good luck

I was in a long distance relationship for many years. It did not work out even though we loved each other a great deal. I would never be involved in a long distance relationship again. Absence does not make the heart grow fonder it makes you forget and get into the other person not being around. That is not a good thing.

I can tell you that a long distance relationship if not kept on for too long, will work. I have seen couples that did end up together, but it took a lot of work and organizing. It also can be stressful.


As for moving to the next provence to be with your boyfriend. It depends on the distance from your family, and are you moving into an area where the culture is very different.

Speaking from experience, (just mine and because it was not good does not mean it will not be for you._

How far would you be moving from your family if you moved there? Are you going to an area of Isolation, or a place where you can find work? or continue with schooling.

A relationship where both parties share the same goals, ideals and ethics have the best chance of success. Opposites can attract, but if they have those qualities they have a better chance.

I moved to Quebec from Alberta with my now ex husband. I was placed in isolation, lived in a small mining town for the most part. I was viewed as the enemy by his family since I was born in UK and him and his family were anti English. We did not share the same values, ethics or goals.

You need to talk to your boyfriend about your fears. If you do move there, he will have to understand what you are feeling and going through, and be willing to support you through the transition if you choose to move there.

Sorry if it sounds negative, or like a mother lecturing you. It's not meant to.

If any relationship is going to succeed, you both need to talk it over a lot, and think things through. If you can find some people that have gone through the same situation, ask them questions and for advice. Not everyone's experience was negative, but you do need to be realistic about it. Your question is very realistic and shows you are thinking about this in a smart way before making a big move.

What ever choice you make, I wish you both the best of luck.

Hi.......been there,done that...didn't work but not because of the distance or lack of communication...things happen here and in 'real life'.

Moving definately involves a lot of thinking.......work for one......school if there's children involved and everything else.

One way to sometimes think of theses relations ships is the way I do......if i were with this person and their job involved them being away (army,engineering etc) how would it be different?
Would you walk away because the other would be ut of reach for a while? I don't think so.

I would however take the time to thouroughly discuss the moving in togather especially since it's a far distance to move........maybe a few weeks vacation time together if possible at his place so you can see what it's like.

Wish you the best of luck.

Huggs

OH MY LORD!

ok, well if you are asking us "should I stay or should I go" , it's all up to you

as for me, yeah, I was in a long distance relationsihp.....met him on line in the spring of last year, we talked and talked........AND TALKED AND TALKED....he bailed on coming to Toronto TWO TIMES....(bad weather, finances, blah blah) so I took the leap and went there (of course accompanied with some friends)...same province but over four frikken hours away....

we hit it off...everything was great....he finally came to Toronto..... then I asked "hey, I will never move away from Toronto..so what now?????? I cannot and will NEVER leave my family...." he agrees that he will move to Toronto in the spring/summer...once his lease is up.....cause with me is where he belongs (thinking back now, OMG!!!!!!!!!!!)
November.....things are cool
December.....ok, still new
January.....comes and goes
february....the same
march....again
april....a-frkken -gain
may.....still nothing.
JUNE>.....finally fed up

and still thru all this time, I made the effort, the trips there either by train or plane or car.....made all the phone calls and he did SOMETIMES.... and NADA...

so, I ENDED IT

Not seeing each other for what? a week? TWO weeks? ok, I can handle that...but weeks and weeks on end? well, that just puts you in a situation of wondering...and pondering....and thinking IS THIS WHAT I REALLY WANT??? if I am in a relationship, I want to stand on the highest mountain (not that there are ANY in Toronto haha) and yell at the top of my lungs THIS is the man I love and cherish...

I want to do things....dining, lounging, sharing a sundae , going to the cottage, hanging out at home and with friends and family.......play fighting.....fighting for God's sake (and then MAKING UP :-) ).....sharing my day face to face....all kinds of wonderful things that make a couple just that .............A COUPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TO do all those things on a part time basis..that is EXACTLY what it is...PART TIME......

Sometimes you think you've found "THE ONE" but really, I think we just get caught up with the notion that he MIGHT be the one.....we get caught up in the "when we get married, when we are living together, when when WHEN?????"

It all seems ROSEY and we're all bright eyed and bushy tailed BUT.....moving to another city, never mind province and NOT knowing anyone there besides the person whom brought you there thru "admiration and love????" (notice how I quoted that?).........well, plain out...... THAT SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I actually did some job inquiry searching when I was visiting my THEN boyfriend....ok, so my salary would be totally cut in HALF as to what I make now???? what?? and IIIIIIIIIIII wanted to move???

FAT CHANCE



i WOULD NEVER EVER EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEVER move away from my family....love or not.....

sometimes, love don't cost a cent.........and neither does it mean moving from your family and security....

good luck to you.........some long distance loves work...hoping yours does!

cheers to you

Curvy