Second and subsequent partners (20)
jealousy is not a good thing on either side. past is past. present is present. future is future. and one can't be jealous of the past simply because it's past. but I'm not saying that one should forget the past but learn from it. (all that according to me)
I don't think I'm making too much sense here today, so just ingnore me for now.
Elley: Don,t know if this is a man and woman thing, you guys have to tell me if it,s just one of them.
Been wed twice and the resentment/jealousy between the two ex,s was at times quite frankly awful. The first ex I could understand, she,d lost something good (ahem,me) and a year later I met somebody else. However,the second had me, so to speak, and was so bloodywell insanely jealous of the one who didn,t have me it caused many nasty rows. Also, whilst the first ex embraced my son by my second, my second strongly resented my kids by the first. Being caught between two women is not a pretty sight. So, is just women or is it the blokes as well ? I can only speak for one, not the other.
Been wed twice and the resentment/jealousy between the two ex,s was at times quite frankly awful. The first ex I could understand, she,d lost something good (ahem,me) and a year later I met somebody else. However,the second had me, so to speak, and was so bloodywell insanely jealous of the one who didn,t have me it caused many nasty rows. Also, whilst the first ex embraced my son by my second, my second strongly resented my kids by the first. Being caught between two women is not a pretty sight. So, is just women or is it the blokes as well ? I can only speak for one, not the other.
I'm starting to believe that feelings of jealousy and desire for what/who other people have are sort of a prerequisite for having an exciting/interesting life... which in a certain sense also qualifies for a full life.
I speak from the other side of the fence, as most here have probably understood.
I can honestly say I've never had any feeling of jealousy towards other women.
It's never even crossed my mind that the guy I was with would ever think about another woman - amazingly naive (stupid?) and trusting (stupid?) considering what is considered normal practice in this world.
My mind cannot fathom what I would want, what I would do, with some other woman's man. Or why.
Objective observation has led me to understand that men and women both suffer (ultimately benefit?) from feelings of jealousy equally.
I myself just sit and watch and have been content to lie in someone's arms free of that kind of thinking, but am for the far greater part of my life alone coz I just "don't get it"..... it seems
breezee: I'm starting to believe that feelings of jealousy and desire for what/who other people have are sort of a prerequisite for having an exciting/interesting life... which in a certain sense also qualifies for a full life.
I speak from the other side of the fence, as most here have probably understood.
I can honestly say I've never had any feeling of jealousy towards other women.
It's never even crossed my mind that the guy I was with would ever think about another woman - amazingly naive (stupid?) and trusting (stupid?) considering what is considered normal practice in this world.
My mind cannot fathom what I would want, what I would do, with some other woman's man. Or why.
Objective observation has led me to understand that men and women both suffer (ultimately benefit?) from feelings of jealousy equally.
I myself just sit and watch and have been content to lie in someone's arms free of that kind of thinking, but am for the far greater part of my life alone coz I just "don't get it"..... it seems
I speak from the other side of the fence, as most here have probably understood.
I can honestly say I've never had any feeling of jealousy towards other women.
It's never even crossed my mind that the guy I was with would ever think about another woman - amazingly naive (stupid?) and trusting (stupid?) considering what is considered normal practice in this world.
My mind cannot fathom what I would want, what I would do, with some other woman's man. Or why.
Objective observation has led me to understand that men and women both suffer (ultimately benefit?) from feelings of jealousy equally.
I myself just sit and watch and have been content to lie in someone's arms free of that kind of thinking, but am for the far greater part of my life alone coz I just "don't get it"..... it seems
Good for you!
I guess I am a simple person too - it never entered my mind that a woman I was with could possibly desire another man! I also used to put blinkers on my own eyes and honestly wasn't tempted to stray. Now, I don't know......... I'm not going to meet some virginal 40+ something woman and I expect that both whomever I meet and myself will have had relationships in the past. It therefore seems logical that 'she' and also 'I' could find other people attractive.
I still think that it's probably for the best to stick to one person - if you are happy, why risk rocking the boat?
Oh, I do not wish to sound hypocritical - just in case you didn't know........you yummy ladies......... I love you all!
Elley: Don,t know if this is a man and woman thing, you guys have to tell me if it,s just one of them.
Been wed twice and the resentment/jealousy between the two ex,s was at times quite frankly awful. The first ex I could understand, she,d lost something good (ahem,me) and a year later I met somebody else. However,the second had me, so to speak, and was so bloodywell insanely jealous of the one who didn,t have me it caused many nasty rows. Also, whilst the first ex embraced my son by my second, my second strongly resented my kids by the first. Being caught between two women is not a pretty sight. So, is just women or is it the blokes as well ? I can only speak for one, not the other.
Been wed twice and the resentment/jealousy between the two ex,s was at times quite frankly awful. The first ex I could understand, she,d lost something good (ahem,me) and a year later I met somebody else. However,the second had me, so to speak, and was so bloodywell insanely jealous of the one who didn,t have me it caused many nasty rows. Also, whilst the first ex embraced my son by my second, my second strongly resented my kids by the first. Being caught between two women is not a pretty sight. So, is just women or is it the blokes as well ? I can only speak for one, not the other.
When I was young (20`s) I was just very curious about the ex-wife, and rather admired her for her ability to hold onto the house and business while booting out the husband with just his suitcase, tools and old car! We sort of shared their kids. When the kids were grown up, she actually came to live in my house to help care for her son who had been injured - and she and I were "kindred spirits" ... enjoying each others company ..... she was "just family".
After that, I inherited another bunch of step-children - and found that the only way to handle them was to sort of super-impose ones own children over them when they became irritating, as all kids can be irritating, even to their own parents.... but they are still just children, never mind who begat them!
I find it so sad and pathetic when grown-ups discriminate against others children who are only the product of their parents decisions to part and make life that bit more complicated.
It is also so cruel to make a parent suffer thru having to "take sides" with or against their own children.
I`ve often thought that there needs to be a sort of "Step-parents Organisation" to assist parents of step-children and help them identify with those children, and to behave themselves and be adult enough to accept them?
Elley: Don,t know if this is a man and woman thing, you guys have to tell me if it,s just one of them.
Been wed twice and the resentment/jealousy between the two ex,s was at times quite frankly awful. The first ex I could understand, she,d lost something good (ahem,me) and a year later I met somebody else. However,the second had me, so to speak, and was so bloodywell insanely jealous of the one who didn,t have me it caused many nasty rows. Also, whilst the first ex embraced my son by my second, my second strongly resented my kids by the first. Being caught between two women is not a pretty sight. So, is just women or is it the blokes as well ? I can only speak for one, not the other.
Been wed twice and the resentment/jealousy between the two ex,s was at times quite frankly awful. The first ex I could understand, she,d lost something good (ahem,me) and a year later I met somebody else. However,the second had me, so to speak, and was so bloodywell insanely jealous of the one who didn,t have me it caused many nasty rows. Also, whilst the first ex embraced my son by my second, my second strongly resented my kids by the first. Being caught between two women is not a pretty sight. So, is just women or is it the blokes as well ? I can only speak for one, not the other.
never had this problem as I was only married once and didn,t get seriously involved with someone else until my youngest was 18 but his ex used to phone my home and hang up, stalk me, go to my workplace when I was off duty and tell my colleagues what a horrible person I was because I stole her man
(they were apart two years when he met me)she also used their children as weapons(giving him the choice, me or them) in the end I chose for him....them!!!!He,s now with someone else who has the problem I used to have God love her.On my side though, my ex hasn,t bothered with kids or me since the separation so I think he couldn,t care less
although he was a paranoid ,jealous, weirdo when we were married!!!JMOcathy61: never had this problem as I was only married once
and didn,t get seriously involved with someone else until my youngest was 18 but his ex used to phone my home and hang up, stalk me, go to my workplace when I was off duty and tell my colleagues what a horrible person I was because I stole her man (they were apart two years when he met me)she also used their children as weapons(giving him the choice, me or them) in the end I chose for him....them!!!!He,s now with someone else who has the problem I used to have God love her.
On my side though, my ex hasn,t bothered with kids or me since the separation so I think he couldn,t care less although he was a paranoid ,jealous, weirdo when we were married!!!JMO
and didn,t get seriously involved with someone else until my youngest was 18 but his ex used to phone my home and hang up, stalk me, go to my workplace when I was off duty and tell my colleagues what a horrible person I was because I stole her man (they were apart two years when he met me)she also used their children as weapons(giving him the choice, me or them) in the end I chose for him....them!!!!He,s now with someone else who has the problem I used to have God love her.
On my side though, my ex hasn,t bothered with kids or me since the separation so I think he couldn,t care less although he was a paranoid ,jealous, weirdo when we were married!!!JMO
They,re out there kiddo, they,re bloodywell out there. Loons. And I,m not so sure about you.
Elley: They,re out there kiddo, they,re bloodywell out there. Loons. And I,m not so sure about you.
I hold my hands up
Was minding the grand children and 6year old grand daughter said'I love you minding me'
i asked why? she replyed 'cos you are nuts' Out of the mouths of babes
Elley: Don,t know if this is a man and woman thing, you guys have to tell me if it,s just one of them.
Been wed twice and the resentment/jealousy between the two ex,s was at times quite frankly awful. The first ex I could understand, she,d lost something good (ahem,me) and a year later I met somebody else. However,the second had me, so to speak, and was so bloodywell insanely jealous of the one who didn,t have me it caused many nasty rows. Also, whilst the first ex embraced my son by my second, my second strongly resented my kids by the first. Being caught between two women is not a pretty sight. So, is just women or is it the blokes as well ? I can only speak for one, not the other.
Been wed twice and the resentment/jealousy between the two ex,s was at times quite frankly awful. The first ex I could understand, she,d lost something good (ahem,me) and a year later I met somebody else. However,the second had me, so to speak, and was so bloodywell insanely jealous of the one who didn,t have me it caused many nasty rows. Also, whilst the first ex embraced my son by my second, my second strongly resented my kids by the first. Being caught between two women is not a pretty sight. So, is just women or is it the blokes as well ? I can only speak for one, not the other.
Elley, my CS friend, Let me tell you this little joke before commenting.
Your post starts with "been wed twice".
Ok so here it goes.
Two playboys met at the gates of heaven, and started talking to each other about how best to talk their way into heaven with St Peter.
They had no idea how St Peter would pardon such womanisers, and let them in.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, right in front of them, there was an old man. The old man was talking to St Peter about how he suffered because he was married, and how marriage had drained all his energy and money etc. On hearing this, St Peter asked the man to step in, because he deserved the kingdom of heaven. Upon hearing this, the two playboys took to the idea of marriage, and one said to the other. "if being married is the passport to entry into the kingdom, if we say we were married twice, we would be doubly rewarded, and not only be admitted, but have a luxury front seat in the air conditioned area.
So St Peter looks at them, asks them if they are together, and they say yes. So he asks them "and you two, what do you have to say for yourselves?". One of them answers "We have been married too, in fact we were married twice!! On hearing this St peter shouts at them. OUT OUT
GO DOWN STRAIGHT TO HELL !!
"But why, why St Peter? The other guy was married and you let him in. We were married twice, that is twice the suffering, and you are sending us to hell now?
St Peter yelled "we want no fools in heaven. You were married once! Why did you repeat your mistake, and got married twice? DOWN TO HELL BOTH!!
Morale of the story.....You don't need to get married to be happy. Just stay with the person you love for as long as it lasts. When its over, there will be no lawsuits and court settlements, no bills to pay. Just a broken heart to mend.
I had been married for 34 years, always regretted having got married, but never regretted having loved that person.
Today I will not dream of getting married again, even if the floor on which I walk would be covered with roses. But I am very much in love with a woman, would not have any other for my partner, and am insanely jealous of her, something I was not when I was married. Maybe I am wrong, but that is how it is with me today. Oh I love her children, and she loves mine. Luckily all our children left the nest, so there is no babysitting to do at home!!!!!
antcus: Elley, my CS friend, Let me tell you this little joke before commenting.
Your post starts with "been wed twice".
Ok so here it goes.
Two playboys met at the gates of heaven, and started talking to each other about how best to talk their way into heaven with St Peter.
They had no idea how St Peter would pardon such womanisers, and let them in.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, right in front of them, there was an old man. The old man was talking to St Peter about how he suffered because he was married, and how marriage had drained all his energy and money etc. On hearing this, St Peter asked the man to step in, because he deserved the kingdom of heaven. Upon hearing this, the two playboys took to the idea of marriage, and one said to the other. "if being married is the passport to entry into the kingdom, if we say we were married twice, we would be doubly rewarded, and not only be admitted, but have a luxury front seat in the air conditioned area.
So St Peter looks at them, asks them if they are together, and they say yes. So he asks them "and you two, what do you have to say for yourselves?". One of them answers "We have been married too, in fact we were married twice!! On hearing this St peter shouts at them. OUT OUT
GO DOWN STRAIGHT TO HELL !!
"But why, why St Peter? The other guy was married and you let him in. We were married twice, that is twice the suffering, and you are sending us to hell now?
St Peter yelled "we want no fools in heaven. You were married once! Why did you repeat your mistake, and got married twice? DOWN TO HELL BOTH!!
Morale of the story.....You don't need to get married to be happy. Just stay with the person you love for as long as it lasts. When its over, there will be no lawsuits and court settlements, no bills to pay. Just a broken heart to mend.
I had been married for 34 years, always regretted having got married, but never regretted having loved that person.
Today I will not dream of getting married again, even if the floor on which I walk would be covered with roses. But I am very much in love with a woman, would not have any other for my partner, and am insanely jealous of her, something I was not when I was married. Maybe I am wrong, but that is how it is with me today. Oh I love her children, and she loves mine. Luckily all our children left the nest, so there is no babysitting to do at home!!!!!
Your post starts with "been wed twice".
Ok so here it goes.
Two playboys met at the gates of heaven, and started talking to each other about how best to talk their way into heaven with St Peter.
They had no idea how St Peter would pardon such womanisers, and let them in.
Fortunately, or unfortunately, right in front of them, there was an old man. The old man was talking to St Peter about how he suffered because he was married, and how marriage had drained all his energy and money etc. On hearing this, St Peter asked the man to step in, because he deserved the kingdom of heaven. Upon hearing this, the two playboys took to the idea of marriage, and one said to the other. "if being married is the passport to entry into the kingdom, if we say we were married twice, we would be doubly rewarded, and not only be admitted, but have a luxury front seat in the air conditioned area.
So St Peter looks at them, asks them if they are together, and they say yes. So he asks them "and you two, what do you have to say for yourselves?". One of them answers "We have been married too, in fact we were married twice!! On hearing this St peter shouts at them. OUT OUT
GO DOWN STRAIGHT TO HELL !!
"But why, why St Peter? The other guy was married and you let him in. We were married twice, that is twice the suffering, and you are sending us to hell now?
St Peter yelled "we want no fools in heaven. You were married once! Why did you repeat your mistake, and got married twice? DOWN TO HELL BOTH!!
Morale of the story.....You don't need to get married to be happy. Just stay with the person you love for as long as it lasts. When its over, there will be no lawsuits and court settlements, no bills to pay. Just a broken heart to mend.
I had been married for 34 years, always regretted having got married, but never regretted having loved that person.
Today I will not dream of getting married again, even if the floor on which I walk would be covered with roses. But I am very much in love with a woman, would not have any other for my partner, and am insanely jealous of her, something I was not when I was married. Maybe I am wrong, but that is how it is with me today. Oh I love her children, and she loves mine. Luckily all our children left the nest, so there is no babysitting to do at home!!!!!
so are you married and have a lover?
dragonfly88: so are you married and have a lover?
AND on a dating site???? breezee: AND on a dating site????
a collector?
or a harem builder?
dragonfly88: so are you married and have a lover?
I said I have been married. I did Not say that I am still married. My wife died two years ago.
In a life where there is love without a contract to hang on, love is ten times more beautiful. It is love that holds the couple together, not a piece of paper.
antcus: I said I have been married. I did Not say that I am still married. My wife died two years ago.
In a life where there is love without a contract to hang on, love is ten times more beautiful. It is love that holds the couple together, not a piece of paper.
In a life where there is love without a contract to hang on, love is ten times more beautiful. It is love that holds the couple together, not a piece of paper.
sorry, I must have missed that important bit.
well...
as to having the official paper or not... I'm in the middle.
I got married because I thought that in the event of things going wrong I would be more protected (I must add that when Igot married Ithought I'd be forever). Things have proven differently.
marriage in the oficial paper way is a way of showing commitment to the other person but you're right in the sense that at the end of the day it is just another piece of paper to be filed. Love shows.
I know people who are oficially married and people who are not oficially married and both sectors are ok. It's just a matter of prefrence in a way.
as to what you say about love being more subliminal just because there isn't a signed paper, I must disagree. I don't think there's a difference there.
antcus: I said I have been married. I did Not say that I am still married. My wife died two years ago.
In a life where there is love without a contract to hang on, love is ten times more beautiful. It is love that holds the couple together, not a piece of paper.
In a life where there is love without a contract to hang on, love is ten times more beautiful. It is love that holds the couple together, not a piece of paper.
But you do have a girlfriend, Antcus??
And you are on a dating site??
breezee: But you do have a girlfriend, Antcus??
And you are on a dating site??
And you are on a dating site??
that's ok if he's not looking for someone.
some people here are actually getting married and all and they still belong to the site. I think their profiles states they're taken...
I don't know about Antcus' profile.
being married or taken shouldn't mean one should stop all contact with othe people...
gosh, I'd hate that!
me. In a cage???
no way!
gosh, I'd hate that!
me. In a cage???
no way!
dragonfly88: you got me there, for a moment I though you were serious.
entitled to the opinon nonetheless, but you got me!
entitled to the opinon nonetheless, but you got me!
dragonfly88: a collector?
or a harem builder?
or a harem builder?
Well, I been watching Mr Antcus, and he is a nice guy ...... but I think those are the scary guys in this life ..... they say they in love with someone and have a happy relationship, but in their postings, they are always open to being approached. His profile does not state that he is in a relationship ... just the usual "What I am looking for" stuff. So ... to my mind, the poor old girlfriend is just there in ignorance that her man is still fishing around for a better catch ... and when that happens ... Well, theres no commitment, no paper, so "Out with the old, and in with the new". Sorry Antcus, but that is the impression you give......freely, of your own volition.
smoky: Well, I been watching Mr Antcus, and he is a nice guy ...... but I think those are the scary guys in this life ..... they say they in love with someone and have a happy relationship, but in their postings, they are always open to being approached. His profile does not state that he is in a relationship ... just the usual "What I am looking for" stuff. So ... to my mind, the poor old girlfriend is just there in ignorance that her man is still fishing around for a better catch ... and when that happens ... Well, theres no commitment, no paper, so "Out with the old, and in with the new". Sorry Antcus, but that is the impression you give......freely, of your own volition.
::shock, disapproval, dismay, sneering emocions::
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Been wed twice and the resentment/jealousy between the two ex,s was at times quite frankly awful. The first ex I could understand, she,d lost something good (ahem,me) and a year later I met somebody else. However,the second had me, so to speak, and was so bloodywell insanely jealous of the one who didn,t have me it caused many nasty rows. Also, whilst the first ex embraced my son by my second, my second strongly resented my kids by the first. Being caught between two women is not a pretty sight. So, is just women or is it the blokes as well ? I can only speak for one, not the other.