Are you afraid to fall in love again. (196)
Scottishlass: I have seen some posts where the person stated how long they have been divorced/seperated/broke up for.
I was wondering if some of you are afraid to fall in love again or afraid to trust someone again with your heart and soul.
Is this why you haven't remarried or started another relationship??
I know this is a big part of it for me, I seem to have major trust issues.Just curious.
I was wondering if some of you are afraid to fall in love again or afraid to trust someone again with your heart and soul.
Is this why you haven't remarried or started another relationship??
I know this is a big part of it for me, I seem to have major trust issues.Just curious.
I have never been Married..and i always said if/when i do it will be one time only...i have been single close to 10 years...had lots of opportunities..but havent took any until now...My last relationship with this guy i met close by..was good until a little in to the relationship is lady called me...so that kind of put a damper on dating...But as you all know i am engaged to Eric..erickissesdeeply..was his name here..It took alot to step into it again but i am glad i did...Really a Great Man...
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Right from getting divorced myself I've said I would never remarry. As for meeting someone new.....well that's not happened yet. My way of thinking is that maybe it'll happen some day. I wouldn't say that I have major trust issues tho'.
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Well Lass if you had asked me that question a few weeks ago I would have said that I was not afraid that it just hasnt happened. (I have been seperated 10 years) But lately I have been giving it some thought. Mainly because I have met a guy and if I listed all the qualities I wanted in a partner he would have each and everyone in abundance, yet I find myself hesitating about getting involved.
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I am afraid 
But it's not about the other person.
It's about me. I just don't think I'm good material for a long term, living together relationship.
And I really suck when it comes to marriage.
Still, I wouldn't mind having a man around once in a awhile.
Maybe I should find myself a long haul trucker or a travelling sales man
But it's not about the other person.
It's about me. I just don't think I'm good material for a long term, living together relationship.
And I really suck when it comes to marriage.
Still, I wouldn't mind having a man around once in a awhile.
Maybe I should find myself a long haul trucker or a travelling sales man
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Neither afraid nor in a huge hurry. Things are what they are. 
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Not really afraid, but cautious and have a very large and thick wall up.
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I have no FEAR of loving again or of being loved by someone special.
I do know that hindsight is 20/20 and have learned to slow down and not rush into anything. We must take time to know our potential partner in every area of their life. Viewpoints, flexibility, attitudes, seeing how they react to the trials of life. When stress is maximized in business dealings, tragic events in the family, money issues, etc., how well do they handle themselves? Do they have much confidence and use wisdom to resolve issues? Do they consult you for input? Are decisions shared? Or do they "fall apart", become "wishy washy" and indesisive, manic, or angry? Are decisions one-sided? Does everything have to be their way? Are they "positive" or do they produce much "negative energy"? We must consider all of these things in choosing a mate. It takes much time to observe the nature of a person. Some seem very confident, yet when the trials begin, they become MONSTERS!
So, with that said, I would gladly welcome love, but it must pass the "test of time".
Good threat Scottishlass!
I do know that hindsight is 20/20 and have learned to slow down and not rush into anything. We must take time to know our potential partner in every area of their life. Viewpoints, flexibility, attitudes, seeing how they react to the trials of life. When stress is maximized in business dealings, tragic events in the family, money issues, etc., how well do they handle themselves? Do they have much confidence and use wisdom to resolve issues? Do they consult you for input? Are decisions shared? Or do they "fall apart", become "wishy washy" and indesisive, manic, or angry? Are decisions one-sided? Does everything have to be their way? Are they "positive" or do they produce much "negative energy"? We must consider all of these things in choosing a mate. It takes much time to observe the nature of a person. Some seem very confident, yet when the trials begin, they become MONSTERS!
So, with that said, I would gladly welcome love, but it must pass the "test of time".
Good threat Scottishlass!
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As previously said by others.... a little of all their answers apply to me.
it all seems so easy for some, to marry again and again.
I've either grown skeptical or wiser. I see more marriages and relationships dissolving, then growing or being created. Oddly enough its not always about trust... but more about issues of wanting more or a better lifestyle.
The adage "a bird in the hand...is worth more than..." remember when that was used to commit to a relationship now it is used to abstain from a committed relationship?
it all seems so easy for some, to marry again and again.
I've either grown skeptical or wiser. I see more marriages and relationships dissolving, then growing or being created. Oddly enough its not always about trust... but more about issues of wanting more or a better lifestyle.
The adage "a bird in the hand...is worth more than..." remember when that was used to commit to a relationship now it is used to abstain from a committed relationship?
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joanie04984: I am afraid
But it's not about the other person.
It's about me. I just don't think I'm good material for a long term, living together relationship.
And I really suck when it comes to marriage.
Still, I wouldn't mind having a man around once in a awhile.
Maybe I should find myself a long haul trucker or a travelling sales man
But it's not about the other person.
It's about me. I just don't think I'm good material for a long term, living together relationship.
And I really suck when it comes to marriage.
Still, I wouldn't mind having a man around once in a awhile.
Maybe I should find myself a long haul trucker or a travelling sales man
ahh yesss.. the UPS driver..
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Good morn lass, good thread, mine would not be trust issues as much as being cheated on after trusting, you have to trust in order to be fully happy imo, you can't give and live in ease if you are always worried about if your other half is doing this or doing that so that is not my road of comming to an opinion, mine is I am not afraid of falling in love, i have been told by a man on here that you have to swing in order to hit and too he has stated he thinks there is more than one soul mate, i am still foggy on that factor of life, i believe you fall in love over and over again but i am of the opinion you have only one soul mate and then you have your mates in your life, i believe they diff but we will never know until we let go of insecurities (trust issues) in order to do that, damn i hope i was not too confusing?
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irishlass45: Good morn lass, good thread, mine would not be trust issues as much as being cheated on after trusting, you have to trust in order to be fully happy imo, you can't give and live in ease if you are always worried about if your other half is doing this or doing that so that is not my road of comming to an opinion, mine is I am not afraid of falling in love, i have been told by a man on here that you have to swing in order to hit and too he has stated he thinks there is more than one soul mate, i am still foggy on that factor of life, i believe you fall in love over and over again but i am of the opinion you have only one soul mate and then you have your mates in your life, i believe they diff but we will never know until we let go of insecurities (trust issues) in order to do that, damn i hope i was not too confusing?
Just what the heck were you trying to say, R?
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Scottishlass: I have seen some posts where the person stated how long they have been divorced/seperated/broke up for.
I was wondering if some of you are afraid to fall in love again or afraid to trust someone again with your heart and soul.
Is this why you haven't remarried or started another relationship??
I know this is a big part of it for me, I seem to have major trust issues.Just curious.
I was wondering if some of you are afraid to fall in love again or afraid to trust someone again with your heart and soul.
Is this why you haven't remarried or started another relationship??
I know this is a big part of it for me, I seem to have major trust issues.Just curious.
I don't think I am afraid...Just not willing to deal with the B.S. if it all goes sideways...Frankly I have had quite enough of wasting my time!!!!!!!!!!!
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Ambrose2007: Just what the heck were you trying to say, R?
you know what mr.J? i have only one guess lass said she had trust issues and i was trying but didn't do it stress that must trust, no matter how hard it is due to past experiences, damn maybe i should just call it beer thirty since i can't get my head right, right?------ This thread is Archived ------
Hugz_n_Kissez: I don't think I am afraid...Just not willing to deal with the B.S. if it all goes sideways...Frankly I have had quite enough of wasting my time!!!!!!!!!!!
agree totally...better things to spend energy on than BS..
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Ambrose2007: Oh, you're really laying it on thick today, Claire!
Hey... go easy on Claire... she is in a state of sorting out her priorities, feelings, and growing through a recent experience.
She will have to work this out in her own way. It will only be for a time, then she will heal and have a more healthy outlook.
We should encourage her to do so!
Love you Claire!!!
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rivame: agree totally...
better things to spend energy on than BS..
better things to spend energy on than BS..
Hey darlin....Yes there is...
(been trying to message you on yahoo..but for some reason I don't think you're getting them)
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I find falling in love - now - absolutely terrifying. When I was young I was never into casual dating or romance because I think I knew myself well enough to realize that when I fell in love I wouldn't be able to extricate myself easily or at all from that feeling. So I was very careful to fall in love with someone who was actually soul mate material.
When that didn't work out so well, my belief in romantic love was rather tarnished, as I'm sure it is for lots of people who've gone through the same thing. Still, some people seem to find it rather easy to fall in love over and over again - but I'm absolutely not one of those. For me, falling in love requires vast amounts of energy and fear-conquering...I've got to reach the point where I literally trust that person with my life.
So now, after enormous amounts of time, energy, and fear-abatement, I've fallen in love again - at the ripe old age of 54. The fear now is that if this doesn't work out whether I'll have the physical/mental capability to go through this all again. SO many barriers have to be knocked down and so many figurative "ducks" have to be lined up - the stars themselves have to be correctly aligned - before love works. God, it's just so much work (especially all that lovemaking;-)!
Jeff
When that didn't work out so well, my belief in romantic love was rather tarnished, as I'm sure it is for lots of people who've gone through the same thing. Still, some people seem to find it rather easy to fall in love over and over again - but I'm absolutely not one of those. For me, falling in love requires vast amounts of energy and fear-conquering...I've got to reach the point where I literally trust that person with my life.
So now, after enormous amounts of time, energy, and fear-abatement, I've fallen in love again - at the ripe old age of 54. The fear now is that if this doesn't work out whether I'll have the physical/mental capability to go through this all again. SO many barriers have to be knocked down and so many figurative "ducks" have to be lined up - the stars themselves have to be correctly aligned - before love works. God, it's just so much work (especially all that lovemaking;-)!
Jeff
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Not afraid, just not in any hurry. I am enjoying meeting and dating new men. It would be silly to jump into a serious relationship when the last one is still not sorted.
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ltlmstrouble: Not afraid, just not in any hurry. I am enjoying meeting and dating new men. It would be silly to jump into a serious relationship when the last one is still not sorted.
Only if they're of a certain age...Like 42-43 years old.
I'm in the huff with you!
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I was wondering if some of you are afraid to fall in love again or afraid to trust someone again with your heart and soul.
Is this why you haven't remarried or started another relationship??
I know this is a big part of it for me, I seem to have major trust issues.
Just curious.