An article I came across that [b]some[/b] CS men need to read not all! ( Archived) (35)

DogMaI: Man... that's too much like work I think I'll go mass e-mail 60 women and see if one will reply

Justme4uok: What guys need to know online

Since I write about relationships for a living and can provide a woman’s perspective, I felt I was in the unique position to help a my brother out. Game on!

Tailor your emails
The problem: The first thing I checked when he signed in to his profile was his sent mail. Appalling! Most contained two words: “Your hot.” Um, DELETE. The sentiment was lame at best, and the error of using “your” for “you’re” was unacceptable. I explained that he would never get a girl’s attention this way—he was sending out the equivalent of spam.

The solution: I told him his emails needed to be well-crafted, not slapped together in two seconds. No wonder he wasn’t getting any emails back—his emails were essentially form letters, and they completely sucked! He needed to personalize each response, and include specifics from the woman’s profile. A little care and attention to detail would go a long way.

Thou shalt not spam
The problem: My brother’s inbox also revealed that he was sending 20 to 30 emails a day. It seemed he would send an email to anyone and everyone—there was no filter whatsoever.

The solution: I explained that it is best to spend several hours going through profiles and make a list of women you like. From that list, narrow it down to your top five, then target those women first. Remember: Quality over quantity!

Pump up your profile
The problem: My brother’s profile was an absolute mess. First off, he mentioned drinking six times. “Hobbies: I like to go to happy hour with friends. Vacation? There’s nothing better than having a cold one on the beach.” In two pictures, he was holding a beer. I told him that most women would infer one thing from that: drinking problem. Which he doesn’t have, honestly!

The solution: He toned down the drinking references and accentuated his assets—that he had a nice home, a great family (ahem), and a good job. He loved to golf and enjoyed travel. These are the sorts of things a woman is looking for in a guy—not that he can put away a six-pack!

Take the extra step to stand out
The problem: Even after my brother was following my advice, he wasn’t necessarily putting himself ahead of the pack in any way. I knew he didn’t see the need to push the envelope, but I felt he needed to step up his game in order to make himself stand out.

The solution: I told him he needed to look for opportunities to knock a girl’s socks off and take advantage of them. For instance, one girl he was interested in said she spoke a little German. So instead of saying “Hello” in his email to her, I suggested he say “Guten morgen!” instead. (Thank you, oh mighty search engine, for that one.) Little gestures like that go a long way and stick in a girl’s mind. Be memorable!

Put in the time—and effort
The problem: My brother was guilty of saying “Call me” at the end of nearly every introductory email he sent to a woman. He essentially didn’t want to put in the time emailing back and forth—he just wanted to cut to the chase. Translation: l-a-z-y.

The solution: I gave him the following formula: There needed to be at least three email exchanges (that is, three from him, three from her) before he even brought up the possibility of a “phone date.” It’s called online dating for a reason—he needed to spend more time getting to know the person online before moving to the phone line.

The results? After cleaning up his profile, he targeted five cool, dynamic girls who actually seemed like they’d be good matches for him. With a little coaching, he sent eloquent, heartfelt emails that even made me swoon. And before we knew it, his inbox was full of women just dying to know more about him.

DogMaI: Man... that's too much like work I think I'll go mass e-mail 60 women and see if one will reply

langleygirl: Maybe we should bump this every time a guy is saying that he doesn't get any response. I know personally I've come across many a profile like this and also received plenty of mail similar to what is described as well.

langleygirl: Maybe we should bump this every time a guy is saying that he doesn't get any response. I know personally I've come across many a profile like this and also received plenty of mail similar to what is described as well.

Justme4uok: Then when you get 60 rejections or no responses, you'll be asking us WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

bob1959: O.K. Thanks. This is just the kind of stuff that makes this place so great. And I'm doing things O.K. Not perfect but O.K. Thanks justforme. It's as if the advise was "Just for me"