roseofsharonOPmanchester, Hampshire, England UK8,699 posts
Okay, so I am in contact with this guy (from another site) and we are getting on well, it would seem. We are corresponding and exchange telephone numbers. He seems quite keen and 'phones me, we chat, have a laugh and tentatively arrange to meet the following weekend for a coffee or maybe lunch.
The next day I mail him to say it was nice to speak with him and I say I will be in touch in the week to find out where we are meeting, unless he beats me to it. Later that week, I try to call but just get the voicemail, I send an e-mail.... nothing!! Of course, he didn't beat me to it and evidently had no intention. All week he has made sure he is uncontactable. What is that all about?
Needless to say, we never did meet and he made sure I couldn't get hold of him. The voicemail was automated so for all I know he could've given me a number other than his own.
So far, all I have had is Players..... I mean, we got on famously, or so I thought....
This keeps happening... why? I am clearly doing something wrong. I am just myself, no pretence, I don't play games, I am polite, well-mannered and I think I have a sense of humour, so....
There must be something I am doing, or NOT doing.... or simply something I am not aware of...?? Its becoming rather tiresome to say the least.....
Any ideas? Why always/only Players?? Why am I a magnet for these types?? No platitudes, please!!! I would rather constructive criticism........ much more helpful. If everyone else is getting dates...??
roseofsharonOPmanchester, Hampshire, England UK8,699 posts
WhatUwish4: I have no idea! I can only thing that they are scammers and possible "Phishing" for private info?
No, he's not a scammer!! Things were fine and dandy... there was something from the 'phone call that changed his mind and yet, as I say, we had a laugh, I was pleasant enough....
Perhaps he didn't like my voice? I've had that before!! But surely its not important enough to waste an opportunity??
Gosh -- I wish I knew what to tell you Rose -- I'm not having any luck either. I don't even get mail --- was excited today to see mail tho ---- but from the mods, requesting I put up a pic with myself in it ---- LOL.... At least your getting some attention - albeit not the best outcome -- well - the day is still young, think I'll go shoe shopping - always makes me feel better...
roseofsharon: Thank you, Robert... whilst that's very flattering.... "No platitudes, please!!! I would rather constructive criticism........ much more helpful".
"I am clearly doing something wrong. I am just myself, no pretence, I don't play games, I am polite, well-mannered and I think I have a sense of humour, so...."
there's nothing there to critisize
sometimes its timing...sometimes they are just not that into you, brush it off and keep smiling
roseofsharonOPmanchester, Hampshire, England UK8,699 posts
Charli15695: Gosh -- I wish I knew what to tell you Rose -- I'm not having any luck either. I don't even get mail --- was excited today to see mail tho ---- but from the mods, requesting I put up a pic with myself in it ---- LOL.... At least your getting some attention - albeit not the best outcome -- well - the day is still young, think I'll go shoe shopping - always makes me feel better...
Well, its not attention as such is it? Its just playing games.... and its mean!!
I don't have a thing for shoes, I'm afraid!! I'd love to go on a shopping spree, I could spend thousands but....
roseofsharonOPmanchester, Hampshire, England UK8,699 posts
mischievouskttn: "I am clearly doing something wrong. I am just myself, no pretence, I don't play games, I am polite, well-mannered and I think I have a sense of humour, so...." there's nothing there to critisize
sometimes its timing...sometimes they are just not that into you, brush it off and keep smiling
Just not into me?? How would they know if they aren't even prepared to take up the opportunity? Yeah.... it could be we don't hit it off, or we could end up being really good friends, or we could be perfect for each other.... and anything in between.
I wouldn't pass up the opportunity of at least finding out....?? There are so many things in life beyond our direct control, opportunities that DON'T come our way... why would I voluntarily deny myself the chance to at least find out??
Well if you don't think he was a player maybe he didn't like the sound of your voice or what you had to say. It may hurt to think this way, but it's a possibility, and a possibility that you have considered.
It's not about how pleasant, funny or polite you may believe you are, and I'm not saying you aren't all of those things, but another person may not think so. What's funny to me may not be funny at all to somebody else. Sometimes it's just one little, innocent utterance which can totally turn off one person from another.
At the end of the day you are you and you shouldn't try to change or fit into some kind of mould to suit another. Just move on and hope that the next person sees and empathises with the qualities you have to offer.
roseofsharonOPmanchester, Hampshire, England UK8,699 posts
Jan1305: Well if you don't think he was a player maybe he didn't like the sound of your voice or what you had to say. It may hurt to think this way, but it's a possibility, and a possibility that you have considered.
It's not about how pleasant, funny or polite you may believe you are, and I'm not saying you aren't all of those things, but another person may not think so. What's funny to me may not be funny at all to somebody else. Sometimes it's just one little, innocent utterance which can totally turn off one person from another.
At the end of the day you are you and you shouldn't try to change or fit into some kind of mould to suit another. Just move on and hope that the next person sees and empathises with the qualities you have to offer.
Is that constructive enough?
Yes, Jan.... thank you, that makes perfect sense. I just wonder if he didn't want to be brave and speak on the 'phone to say he'd changed his mind, he could've taken the cowardly way out and e-mailed me. Why be really cowardly and make sure he was uncontactable??
But I do appreciate your input.... food for thought, love.
roseofsharon: Thank you, Robert... whilst that's very flattering.... "No platitudes, please!!! I would rather constructive criticism........ much more helpful".
I don't do platitudes. I just say as much as I can with the fewest words possible
Jan1305: It's only hard work on a dating site though don't you agree?
Writing to each other for months perhaps, then the telephone conversations, then maybe a meeting. It all takes so long and more often than not ends up pear shaped.
roseofsharonOPmanchester, Hampshire, England UK8,699 posts
Indyfella: I usually don't say much of anything. However, it's probably good that you found out early on....rather than being led along for a month or two.
JMO~
Ohh yesss, Indy..... there is that. Its just that I can't believe it happens so frequently with others, it makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. As I say, its all become rather tiresome!!
roseofsharon: Ohh yesss, Indy..... there is that. Its just that I can't believe it happens so frequently with others, it makes me wonder what I'm doing wrong. As I say, its all become rather tiresome!!
Now you see why I'm on here for "fun only". It cuts two ways...
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The next day I mail him to say it was nice to speak with him and I say I will be in touch in the week to find out where we are meeting, unless he beats me to it. Later that week, I try to call but just get the voicemail, I send an e-mail.... nothing!! Of course, he didn't beat me to it and evidently had no intention. All week he has made sure he is uncontactable. What is that all about?
Needless to say, we never did meet and he made sure I couldn't get hold of him. The voicemail was automated so for all I know he could've given me a number other than his own.
So far, all I have had is Players..... I mean, we got on famously, or so I thought....
This keeps happening... why? I am clearly doing something wrong. I am just myself, no pretence, I don't play games, I am polite, well-mannered and I think I have a sense of humour, so....
There must be something I am doing, or NOT doing.... or simply something I am not aware of...?? Its becoming rather tiresome to say the least.....
Any ideas? Why always/only Players?? Why am I a magnet for these types?? No platitudes, please!!! I would rather constructive criticism........ much more helpful. If everyone else is getting dates...??
Thanks.