What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship? ( Archived) (55)

Aug 6, 2008 11:13 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Of course, this line comes up in many different contexts, not just romantic ones. But it often rears its enigmatic head, it seems, in relationships - particularly, in my experience, when one partner is asking for validation or approval.

We often see threads here about the code meanings for various phrases, and I'm thinking this may be one of them.

Jeffwave professor conversing
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Aug 6, 2008 11:14 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
shipoker55
shipoker55shipoker55St. Petersburg, Florida USA211 Threads 2 Polls 9,362 Posts
It means...I don't know what to tell you!!dunno
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Aug 6, 2008 11:21 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
KingLeo
KingLeoKingLeoFrederickson, Washington USA26 Threads 472 Posts
Their frustrated and don't feel like answering your question.
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Aug 6, 2008 11:25 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
LovingMassage
LovingMassageLovingMassageCentral Missouri, Missouri USA8 Threads 181 Posts
yep, usually it is said when they don't WANT to tell you because they are done thinking about it and you are being a pest. At least that is what my sister tells me. I have never heard those words personally.
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Aug 6, 2008 11:27 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
shipoker55: It means...I don't know what to tell you!!


I'm thinking that it's largely equivalent to "What do you want me to tell you?" mainly because the two often seem to come up in the same conversation (in my experience).

I see them both as *usually* being evasive - that is, they are either a "stalling for time to think" or a "I'm not sure I dare tell you what I really think" strategy.confused dunno
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Aug 6, 2008 11:28 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
That they're lost for words.dunno
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Aug 6, 2008 11:29 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
trish123
trish123trish123Macclesfield, Cheshire, England UK177 Threads 4 Polls 13,724 Posts
Ambrose2007: Of course, this line comes up in many different contexts, not just romantic ones. But it often rears its enigmatic head, it seems, in relationships - particularly, in my experience, when one partner is asking for validation or approval.

We often see threads here about the code meanings for various phrases, and I'm thinking this may be one of them.

Jeff


Hi Ambrose wave what you wrote reminds me of a song by, I think it Loggins and Messina, its called 15 Summers and dont know if it will have any bearing at all on what you are tring to get at..........


Fifteen summers
And you're trying to tell me
Just how lonely this world can be
Fifteen summers
You say you're the only
One who's had good love go badly I can't tell you how these things happen
All of you can do is pray for love and let it be
Fifteen summers
Already you're a woman
Or lets just say you could have fooled me
There's nothing missing
Your heart strings just need tuning
But you can't wait
You want to play
The whole recital right away
And I can't tell you, how these things happen
You give your heart, hoping that someone else
Gives you love in return
Oh I can't tell you how these things happen
All of you can do is pray for love and let it be
And I can't tell how these things happen
All of you can do is pray for love
And when you do just put a word in for me



Its a really beautiful song - Ill try to find it on utube

I know, it mentions praying and I apologise to all my Atheist buddies..........


bouquet
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Aug 6, 2008 11:31 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
somechick: That they're lost for words.


But what kinds of subjects in a romantic relationship generally or frequently lead to such a loss, Some?confused wave
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Aug 6, 2008 11:32 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
mylifewithu
mylifewithumylifewithuSpringfield, Missouri USA174 Threads 23,670 Posts
Ambrose2007: I'm thinking that it's largely equivalent to "What do you want me to tell you?" mainly because the two often seem to come up in the same conversation (in my experience).

I see them both as *usually* being evasive - that is, they are either a "stalling for time to think" or a "I'm not sure I dare tell you what I really think" strategy.
The main time I have ever said that , the subject was over my head or a situation I have never been in before and had no experience with etc. Just like answering this question, I just don't know what to tell you.dunno laugh
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Aug 6, 2008 11:33 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
Thanks, Trish. I *think* I see why that question would make you think of this song. I probably have heard it, but can't remember the melody at the moment. I'll download it today at some point...
hug wave

Not sure I can accept you apology to atheists, by the way, T. wink laugh
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Aug 6, 2008 11:45 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
trish123
trish123trish123Macclesfield, Cheshire, England UK177 Threads 4 Polls 13,724 Posts
Ambrose2007: Thanks, Trish. I *think* I see why that question would make you think of this song. I probably have heard it, but can't remember the melody at the moment. I'll download it today at some point...


Not sure I can accept you apology to atheists, by the way, T.


I was wrong, it was Gallagher and Lyle - have posted it in vids - have a listen, its really beautiful..............
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Aug 6, 2008 11:49 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
Ambrose2007: Of course, this line comes up in many different contexts, not just romantic ones. But it often rears its enigmatic head, it seems, in relationships - particularly, in my experience, when one partner is asking for validation or approval.

We often see threads here about the code meanings for various phrases, and I'm thinking this may be one of them.

Jeff


I have used that phrase a time or two...

I've said it when my EX didnt like what i said or wanted to argue my opinion of something...i had nothing more to say on the topic and after repeating myself again and again...i didnt know what to tell him to make him happy, content or for him to just shut up.


Or...that i dont agree with "you" on something and theres no way to put it thats its gonna make sense.


Or I have too much on my mind or have thought to much about it and no conclusions have been made...


Im thinking now, i may use that more then i thought...grin
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Aug 6, 2008 11:56 AM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
blue_eyed_blonde: I have used that phrase a time or two...

I've said it when my EX didnt like what i said or wanted to argue my opinion of something...i had nothing more to say on the topic and after repeating myself again and again...i didnt know what to tell him to make him happy, content or for him to just shut up.Or...that i dont agree with "you" on something and theres no way to put it thats its gonna make sense.Or I have too much on my mind or have thought to much about it and no conclusions have been made...Im thinking now, i may use that more then i thought...


hmmm Not sure what to tell you about that, Trudy...confused laugh wave

Seriously, thanks for that detailed response! I'm wondering what your EX didn't like about you said - what was that kind of conversation about typically (I'm guessing some controversial subject)? If you don't mind my asking, Blue.heart beating
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Aug 6, 2008 12:14 PM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
roseofsharon
roseofsharonroseofsharonmanchester, Hampshire, England UK60 Threads 3 Polls 8,699 Posts
Ambrose2007: I'm thinking that it's largely equivalent to "What do you want me to tell you?" mainly because the two often seem to come up in the same conversation (in my experience).

I see them both as *usually* being evasive - that is, they are either a "stalling for time to think" or a "I'm not sure I dare tell you what I really think" strategy.


I believe you have hit the nail on the head, Ambrose!! thumbs up
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Aug 6, 2008 12:28 PM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
Ambrose2007
Ambrose2007Ambrose2007BFE, South Dakota USA67 Threads 10 Polls 8,881 Posts
roseofsharon: I believe you have hit the nail on the head, Ambrose!!


Thanks, Alison! hug

But I suspect there are times when it means something closer to its actual words. I can see, for instance, someone saying "I don't know what to tell you" in response to: "Why does Planck's Constant exist?"laugh

On the other hand, "What do you want me to tell you?" doesn't, in my opinion, often lend itself to such a literal meaning. It could be an expression of legitimate confusion, but perhaps more commonly would be a stalling for time or other form of evasive verbal maneuver.
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Aug 6, 2008 12:34 PM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK107 Threads 9 Polls 15,888 Posts
LovingMassage: yep, usually it is said when they don't WANT to tell you because they are done thinking about it and you are being a pest. At least that is what my sister tells me. I have never heard those words personally.


Yep I think that's what it is too.

wave
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Aug 6, 2008 12:35 PM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK107 Threads 9 Polls 15,888 Posts
trish123:
I know, it mentions praying and I apologise to all my Atheist buddies..........


giggle

Hellooooo bouquet hug
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Aug 6, 2008 12:38 PM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
bubbles69
bubbles69bubbles69Inverness, Highland, Scotland UK17 Threads 1 Polls 1,984 Posts
In my experience it generally means I dont want to say because its going to hurt you one way or another.

Hiya Claire, hIya Jeff.wave
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Aug 6, 2008 12:40 PM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria133 Threads 4 Polls 12,414 Posts
Claayer: Hellooooo



It means stumped for words.

Which does not happen to me often.

If my expartner was stressed, which EVERYTHING was a drama, I would say 'I do not know what to say to make you feel better'

Evening Claayer.
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Aug 6, 2008 12:41 PM CST What does "I don't know what to tell you" mean in a romantic relationship?
Claayer
ClaayerClaayerWild Wild South West, Cornwall, England UK107 Threads 9 Polls 15,888 Posts
Sommerauer71: It means stumped for words.

Which does not happen to me often.

If my expartner was stressed, which EVERYTHING was a drama, I would say 'I do not know what to say to make you feel better'

Evening Claayer.


Evening Modom snooty

laugh wave hug
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