would you (14)

Would you date someone who was still living with their childrens' other parent? They claim it's plantonic. Could be a financial arrangement? Kids are +12 years old.
Would you give your time/energy/and or heart to this part-time person(it's still a secret to meet)?

Just wondering if I'm living in the dark ages, because I have issues with dating him. I've known him over 20 years, but just can't cause I'd feel like the other woman....

What do you think?

Hug me tight: l met a man who was in the same kind of relationship with his ex. They lived in the same house but didnt share a bed or room. They were in the same house together for their child.
He lived there for 6 months before he finally moved out and got his own place. We met and we were together from that day on but l am sad to say it never worked out. lt had nothing to do with the fact that he lived with his ex. We dated for a year and it was all good.
Mine worked out to be what he said it was and l trusted in him and that what he was telling me was true.
The only problem l had well he was living there was l could never call him because he didnt want my number on the phone and didnt want his ex to know he was dating someone. He thought that if she knew he was dating me it would do nothing but cause problems for him living there, so we kept it a secret and he would call me when he wanted to reach me. We didnt spend alot of time during that six month span but we talked online and he called at least once a day to check in.
All l can say is take the chance if you truly believe that he is separated and only liing there for the sake of his kids...ya never know he might just be that person.....

good luck and hope all your wishes and dreams come true.....

I don't know Canadian_Angel...
he's been asking me out for years..it just bothers me...i think he's waiting to be thrown out of the house rather than leave..????? he says they haven't slept together for 10 years....it's just a feeling i have that he's not leaving on his own.....
she apparently drinks, and when she's been drinking she tells him to get a life, get a woman..in front of the kids...i just don't know what to do
I've always cared for him..he's always been a good friend, i don't think i'm ready to cross the line

ok..i'm not going to do it...
i think he needs to grow up too and maybe make some sort of move, or encourage her to leave, as she supposedly has a man... i know if she throws him out he'll be on my doorstep..and i'm not comfortable with that as his kids don't want to stay with their mother...and my kids have not had any man live with us since their father left 11 years ago...
this is really hard..live in a small town and our kids go to school together, and both our youngest kids are in fact friends...
Thanks for listening to me straighten things out in my head

"I have issues with dating him."

Trust your instincts. If it does not feel right, don't do it.

There are divorced parents that live in the same house for the sake of their child(ren). Know a couple that did that after their oldest son was almost killed on a hit and run. Their son suffered brain damage and with both of them in the same house, it helps.

The man sleeps and has his area in the basement. She has the third floor with the son. The main floor is the eating, socializing, and TV area.

If it does not feel comfortable or alright with you, Hug me, trust your instincts and feelings.

Hug_Me_Tighter,
I agree with the above to trust your instincts. Your gut has spoken, thank goodness you have listened or you could be waking up to a whole lot of trouble.

People who are eager to get into another relationship without truly finishing with the last and not bothering to take time to heal or find out who they are on their own are bad news waiting to happen for so many reasons it is tough to even know where to start. Trust that when we are truly available and seek truly available people for love interests, things will be less complicated, confusing and conflicting.

If he is truly a good friend he wouldn't put you or your and his children in such an awkward position in the first place. If you can't walk up to his door, ring the bell and say hi honey, and sit down to dinner or help cook the dinner, it is a go no where proposition destined to be filled with pain. I don't understand why people willingly and knowingly sign up for that. Keep a clear head and don't be manipulated. I know there are strong words said so far in these posts, but better to hear and really listen now than be kicking yourself later.

Beware, he may just want a safe, convenient place to land when things finally blow up at home as they are destined to do in such a situation. But deep down I believe you already know this. Take care of, trust and honour yourself.

Trust your instincts Hug me... you are a smart lady. If it does not feel right, it isn't.