Is a healthy relationship towards money a must for you? (34)
livinglargein a good place, Kildare Ireland10 Threads 5,879 PostsHugz_n_Kissez: To me if it's your money spend it as you choose...BUT if we live together after the bills etc are paid by both of us....then go to town!!!!!!!!!!As long as someone knows their priorities...it doesn't much matter to me!!!!!!!!
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livinglarge: Well fantastic !! I think you will find that the majority of the human race experienced what you did , I know I certainly did , but hold on , IMO the guy has every right to spend as he pleases , as long as he is paying his bills , not spending other peoples money ! Who knows ? He could be very generous to charities without crowing about it .
I wasn't commenting on this particular person, so much as the idea of not having any respect for money and also the dependency that having someone bail you out can have.
One thing in particular that Norse mentioned was that he wouldn't pick up a $20 he dropped, because it meant nothing to him. Maybe he does give to charities, maybe not, that's not the issue.
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A guy I have seen once before asked me on a second date last week. He lives here on campus.
I turned him down with the explanation that I don’t think certain of our values match.
The thing is that he comes from a very wealthy family and thus he spends a lot of money. His dad has worked hard so he could give his family financial freedom and this guy enjoys the benefits of it, which I see no problem with.
The problem, on the other hand, is how he is spending. I'm not a cheap, but I grew up with a single-dad in the military and 2 brothers. We never had a lot and had to really think twice before spending money even though we never needed anything that is to say we weren’t poor, but perhaps a bit under middle class.
I just don't feel like I can relate to that kind of spending. I know that in my field of study the employment and pay when finished will be... let’s just say it’ll be pretty okay. Of course I will benefit from it and in time buy a nice house, a car, a lot of shoes and other luxurious things. But I can't see myself spending 10$ on a cab FOR A PIZZA just because my favourite pizza place doesn't deliver themselves and I can't bother to get the damn pizza myself, not out of laziness but because I'd rather pay my way out of it. Or spending a 3 figured amount of money on designer laces for my shoes and throwing them in the trash after a week because I suddenly decided against it... Things that some people perhaps consider luxurious, but I just find right out silly.
I decided it was too much when on our first date he dropped 20$ and was too lazy or unbothered to pick them up again. People who waste money so uncaringly are just not my cup of tea, even if they can afford it.How important is stuff like that to you when searching for a partner?[/quote
I understand what you are trying to say and I totally agree with you.
This man's attitude about money is totally wrong. Arrogant really and it is too bad it came much too easy in his posession.
I am not a hypocrite and will not tell you I don't like money. If it is ALL a man has then he does not have enough for me.
I now have had two men tell me, after I had turned them downn, that now they could tell me that they were wealthy.
I told them; we ALL have problems.
I turned him down with the explanation that I don’t think certain of our values match.
The thing is that he comes from a very wealthy family and thus he spends a lot of money. His dad has worked hard so he could give his family financial freedom and this guy enjoys the benefits of it, which I see no problem with.
The problem, on the other hand, is how he is spending. I'm not a cheap, but I grew up with a single-dad in the military and 2 brothers. We never had a lot and had to really think twice before spending money even though we never needed anything that is to say we weren’t poor, but perhaps a bit under middle class.
I just don't feel like I can relate to that kind of spending. I know that in my field of study the employment and pay when finished will be... let’s just say it’ll be pretty okay. Of course I will benefit from it and in time buy a nice house, a car, a lot of shoes and other luxurious things. But I can't see myself spending 10$ on a cab FOR A PIZZA just because my favourite pizza place doesn't deliver themselves and I can't bother to get the damn pizza myself, not out of laziness but because I'd rather pay my way out of it. Or spending a 3 figured amount of money on designer laces for my shoes and throwing them in the trash after a week because I suddenly decided against it... Things that some people perhaps consider luxurious, but I just find right out silly.
I decided it was too much when on our first date he dropped 20$ and was too lazy or unbothered to pick them up again. People who waste money so uncaringly are just not my cup of tea, even if they can afford it.How important is stuff like that to you when searching for a partner?[/quote
I understand what you are trying to say and I totally agree with you.
This man's attitude about money is totally wrong. Arrogant really and it is too bad it came much too easy in his posession.
I am not a hypocrite and will not tell you I don't like money. If it is ALL a man has then he does not have enough for me.
I now have had two men tell me, after I had turned them downn, that now they could tell me that they were wealthy.
I told them; we ALL have problems.
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kidatheart: I wasn't commenting on this particular person, so much as the idea of not having any respect for money and also the dependency that having someone bail you out can have.
One thing in particular that Norse mentioned was that he wouldn't pick up a $20 he dropped, because it meant nothing to him. Maybe he does give to charities, maybe not, that's not the issue.
One thing in particular that Norse mentioned was that he wouldn't pick up a $20 he dropped, because it meant nothing to him. Maybe he does give to charities, maybe not, that's not the issue.
Yes the guy wouldn't pick up the 20 bucks , that suggests he was out to impress and maybe has self asteem issues , to be that is more worrying rather than the guy being uber rich!------ This thread is Archived ------
Upside Norse.......when Obama gets in....all those dudes will end up poor...so it'll be a moot point 
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Indyfella: Upside Norse.......when Obama gets in....all those dudes will end up poor...so it'll be a moot point
Whatever you're drinking send me a case
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NorseMedic: A guy I have seen once before asked me on a second date last week. He lives here on campus.
I turned him down with the explanation that I don’t think certain of our values match.
The thing is that he comes from a very wealthy family and thus he spends a lot of money. His dad has worked hard so he could give his family financial freedom and this guy enjoys the benefits of it, which I see no problem with.
The problem, on the other hand, is how he is spending. I'm not a cheap, but I grew up with a single-dad in the military and 2 brothers. We never had a lot and had to really think twice before spending money even though we never needed anything that is to say we weren’t poor, but perhaps a bit under middle class.
I just don't feel like I can relate to that kind of spending. I know that in my field of study the employment and pay when finished will be... let’s just say it’ll be pretty okay. Of course I will benefit from it and in time buy a nice house, a car, a lot of shoes and other luxurious things. But I can't see myself spending 10$ on a cab FOR A PIZZA just because my favourite pizza place doesn't deliver themselves and I can't bother to get the damn pizza myself, not out of laziness but because I'd rather pay my way out of it. Or spending a 3 figured amount of money on designer laces for my shoes and throwing them in the trash after a week because I suddenly decided against it... Things that some people perhaps consider luxurious, but I just find right out silly.
I decided it was too much when on our first date he dropped 20$ and was too lazy or unbothered to pick them up again. People who waste money so uncaringly are just not my cup of tea, even if they can afford it.How important is stuff like that to you when searching for a partner?
I turned him down with the explanation that I don’t think certain of our values match.
The thing is that he comes from a very wealthy family and thus he spends a lot of money. His dad has worked hard so he could give his family financial freedom and this guy enjoys the benefits of it, which I see no problem with.
The problem, on the other hand, is how he is spending. I'm not a cheap, but I grew up with a single-dad in the military and 2 brothers. We never had a lot and had to really think twice before spending money even though we never needed anything that is to say we weren’t poor, but perhaps a bit under middle class.
I just don't feel like I can relate to that kind of spending. I know that in my field of study the employment and pay when finished will be... let’s just say it’ll be pretty okay. Of course I will benefit from it and in time buy a nice house, a car, a lot of shoes and other luxurious things. But I can't see myself spending 10$ on a cab FOR A PIZZA just because my favourite pizza place doesn't deliver themselves and I can't bother to get the damn pizza myself, not out of laziness but because I'd rather pay my way out of it. Or spending a 3 figured amount of money on designer laces for my shoes and throwing them in the trash after a week because I suddenly decided against it... Things that some people perhaps consider luxurious, but I just find right out silly.
I decided it was too much when on our first date he dropped 20$ and was too lazy or unbothered to pick them up again. People who waste money so uncaringly are just not my cup of tea, even if they can afford it.How important is stuff like that to you when searching for a partner?
Plenty of money for the right woman.However the interest for me is each other.
He was obviously trying to impress.Ask him how much does he really know about you?
This is clearly not the way.
Picnic,sunny day,pack a lunch.Talk,walk.Laugh.How much can that cost?
Time,attentive behavior,patience.Common courtesy.
SHE can be extremely wealty and spoiled rotten,and generally unhappy.Wealth sometimes seems to accompany arrogance.
NOT INTERESTED!
Not saying you are.
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If I'm reading this correctly, he's not wasting his money...
he is wasting his dad's money, and while understandable depending on what life experiences he may not have had yet,
it is still disrepectfull, and a woman behaving that way would bother me.
he is wasting his dad's money, and while understandable depending on what life experiences he may not have had yet,
it is still disrepectfull, and a woman behaving that way would bother me.
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i just can't agree with what i just read, Norsemedic
u know...i had once a very beautiful silver ring ( it costed more than 20 dollars). it was a present from a very close relative. i always used to wear it even if it was a lil bit too big for my finger. And it happened on a rainy day that it fell down on the pavement. My first reaction was smiling while watching it rotating and departing from me, having no intention to pick it up ( it was raining and i was tired after the courses...so i just let it go with no regrets haha). Now imagine i tell this story to a guy i might date to and he jumps on me with smth like:" have u any idea how much money have u wasted by not picking up that ring? i will never date you coz we have too different values!!" Wouldn't that be ridiculous? This story ( similar somehow to the story of ur guy) doesn't show anything wrong abt me, maybe only i am a bit weird but not more....that doesn;'t mean i am THAT bad.
My point is try not to pay so much attention to all this value compatibility coz you risk to focus less on heart compatibility and the consequences would be by far more serious, trust me This guy might have a golden heart ( despite his desire of spending money)....try talk to him and don't be so exigent when there is no use for it:) JMO 
P.S. i also waste money uncaringly just for the pleasure of it and still most ppl consider me an angel
think abt it:)
u know...i had once a very beautiful silver ring ( it costed more than 20 dollars). it was a present from a very close relative. i always used to wear it even if it was a lil bit too big for my finger. And it happened on a rainy day that it fell down on the pavement. My first reaction was smiling while watching it rotating and departing from me, having no intention to pick it up ( it was raining and i was tired after the courses...so i just let it go with no regrets haha). Now imagine i tell this story to a guy i might date to and he jumps on me with smth like:" have u any idea how much money have u wasted by not picking up that ring? i will never date you coz we have too different values!!" Wouldn't that be ridiculous? This story ( similar somehow to the story of ur guy) doesn't show anything wrong abt me, maybe only i am a bit weird but not more....that doesn;'t mean i am THAT bad.My point is try not to pay so much attention to all this value compatibility coz you risk to focus less on heart compatibility and the consequences would be by far more serious, trust me
This guy might have a golden heart ( despite his desire of spending money)....try talk to him and don't be so exigent when there is no use for it:) JMO P.S. i also waste money uncaringly just for the pleasure of it and still most ppl consider me an angel
think abt it:)------ This thread is Archived ------
NorseMedic: A guy I have seen once before asked me on a second date last week. He lives here on campus.
I turned him down with the explanation that I don’t think certain of our values match.
The thing is that he comes from a very wealthy family and thus he spends a lot of money. His dad has worked hard so he could give his family financial freedom and this guy enjoys the benefits of it, which I see no problem with.
The problem, on the other hand, is how he is spending. I'm not a cheap, but I grew up with a single-dad in the military and 2 brothers. We never had a lot and had to really think twice before spending money even though we never needed anything that is to say we weren’t poor, but perhaps a bit under middle class.
I just don't feel like I can relate to that kind of spending. I know that in my field of study the employment and pay when finished will be... let’s just say it’ll be pretty okay. Of course I will benefit from it and in time buy a nice house, a car, a lot of shoes and other luxurious things. But I can't see myself spending 10$ on a cab FOR A PIZZA just because my favourite pizza place doesn't deliver themselves and I can't bother to get the damn pizza myself, not out of laziness but because I'd rather pay my way out of it. Or spending a 3 figured amount of money on designer laces for my shoes and throwing them in the trash after a week because I suddenly decided against it... Things that some people perhaps consider luxurious, but I just find right out silly.
I decided it was too much when on our first date he dropped 20$ and was too lazy or unbothered to pick them up again. People who waste money so uncaringly are just not my cup of tea, even if they can afford it.How important is stuff like that to you when searching for a partner?
He ought to be given a Championship Belt!!!I turned him down with the explanation that I don’t think certain of our values match.
The thing is that he comes from a very wealthy family and thus he spends a lot of money. His dad has worked hard so he could give his family financial freedom and this guy enjoys the benefits of it, which I see no problem with.
The problem, on the other hand, is how he is spending. I'm not a cheap, but I grew up with a single-dad in the military and 2 brothers. We never had a lot and had to really think twice before spending money even though we never needed anything that is to say we weren’t poor, but perhaps a bit under middle class.
I just don't feel like I can relate to that kind of spending. I know that in my field of study the employment and pay when finished will be... let’s just say it’ll be pretty okay. Of course I will benefit from it and in time buy a nice house, a car, a lot of shoes and other luxurious things. But I can't see myself spending 10$ on a cab FOR A PIZZA just because my favourite pizza place doesn't deliver themselves and I can't bother to get the damn pizza myself, not out of laziness but because I'd rather pay my way out of it. Or spending a 3 figured amount of money on designer laces for my shoes and throwing them in the trash after a week because I suddenly decided against it... Things that some people perhaps consider luxurious, but I just find right out silly.
I decided it was too much when on our first date he dropped 20$ and was too lazy or unbothered to pick them up again. People who waste money so uncaringly are just not my cup of tea, even if they can afford it.How important is stuff like that to you when searching for a partner?
with
Super-Dork embossed on the Buckle!
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yes....if she has no money, she's out!! Good-bye...sayanara.. auf wiedesehn, adios, caio. Come back when you can afford me!! CYA
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shipoker58: yes....if she has no money, she's out!! Good-bye...sayanara.. auf wiedesehn, adios, caio. Come back when you can afford me!! CYA
HA! Even Larry Flint took in 'charity cases'! %D
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Hey guys and thanks for all the replies, even the critical ones. It’s always a good thing to see your self a bit from the outside.
Some of you whom agreed with me mentioned the lack of respect for the value of things. That is exactly my point.
Whenever I spend money on something I feel grateful for that thing. I think about it and I only buy stuff I’m sure I really want to have – no matter how much money I got in that period of time.
I admit that I have a bit of a pride. Spending other people’s money doesn’t feel right to me; and he is spending his dad’s. And he doesn’t even seem to care and the lack of gratefulness. His dad worked hard to give him this life and it doesn’t seem like he gives a damn. He’s not grateful at all.
I don’t know if he were trying to impress me by not picking up the bill he dropped. Maybe that is, but the thing with the bill was just the small thing that really made up my mind. Together with his attitude and careless spending I just couldn’t feel comfortable.
Someone mentioned “arrogance with money” and that is really how I see it.
Yes, he should be able to spend his own money as he chooses. But I’m not looking for a casual flirt; I’m looking for something permanent. I had to ask myself how I would feel if he were spending “our” money like that in the future. And I may be rushing to conclusions and thinking too way ahead, but the values he showed are not ones I wish to pass on to my future children. I want them to be humble and grateful, and appreciate spending money on things they like and appreciate that they have the opportunity to do so. Not everyone is so fortunate.
I don’t want to ask him to change and that’s why I haven’t talked with him about it. As I see it, if you feel like your date needs a change after only one date, chances are he’s just not right for you.
I’m really not into that Hollyweird thing with bling bling and cars that can bounce for no practical reason or spending money on a pool that spurts out candyfloss-flavoured bubbles or wearing shoes that cost the same as putting a kid through college.
I won’t interfere with how people spend their own money, but that kind of lifestyle I find a little silly… Like shooting fish in a barrel for no reason at all… and the meaningless of it all is not something I want in my own life.
Some of you whom agreed with me mentioned the lack of respect for the value of things. That is exactly my point.
Whenever I spend money on something I feel grateful for that thing. I think about it and I only buy stuff I’m sure I really want to have – no matter how much money I got in that period of time.
I admit that I have a bit of a pride. Spending other people’s money doesn’t feel right to me; and he is spending his dad’s. And he doesn’t even seem to care and the lack of gratefulness. His dad worked hard to give him this life and it doesn’t seem like he gives a damn. He’s not grateful at all.
I don’t know if he were trying to impress me by not picking up the bill he dropped. Maybe that is, but the thing with the bill was just the small thing that really made up my mind. Together with his attitude and careless spending I just couldn’t feel comfortable.
Someone mentioned “arrogance with money” and that is really how I see it.
Yes, he should be able to spend his own money as he chooses. But I’m not looking for a casual flirt; I’m looking for something permanent. I had to ask myself how I would feel if he were spending “our” money like that in the future. And I may be rushing to conclusions and thinking too way ahead, but the values he showed are not ones I wish to pass on to my future children. I want them to be humble and grateful, and appreciate spending money on things they like and appreciate that they have the opportunity to do so. Not everyone is so fortunate.
I don’t want to ask him to change and that’s why I haven’t talked with him about it. As I see it, if you feel like your date needs a change after only one date, chances are he’s just not right for you.
I’m really not into that Hollyweird thing with bling bling and cars that can bounce for no practical reason or spending money on a pool that spurts out candyfloss-flavoured bubbles or wearing shoes that cost the same as putting a kid through college.
I won’t interfere with how people spend their own money, but that kind of lifestyle I find a little silly… Like shooting fish in a barrel for no reason at all… and the meaningless of it all is not something I want in my own life.
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shipoker58: I only associate with people on my financial level.
Me too!
I don' t date poor people
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