This is a waste of my time, online dateing. (141)
Alan_50501: im with ya not doing well in person or on any sites..finding out maybe i was meant to be and stay single
I'm sure you will meet someone.By the way nice to meet you. You should stat a thread and introduce yourself.jmo
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mastic55: When I made this thread I was a little down, feeling better now, I guess thats life...Thanks to all
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To Riyablossom.
thank you.
thank you.------ This thread is Archived ------
mastic55: To Riyablossom.
thank you.
thank you.
I look forward to meeting more people this time over as my first experience was definitely worth it.
Sooooo theres lots of hope out there for everyone
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riyablossom: I look forward to meeting more people this time over as my first experience was definitely worth it.
Sooooo theres lots of hope out there for everyone
Sooooo theres lots of hope out there for everyone
Good going.
Positive Karma from you.
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Hugz_n_Kissez: Well CS is my kingdom so I would have to say...UMMMMMMMM YES!!!!!!!!!
kingdom or queendom? Who is the king then?
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friendsfirst: Good going.
Positive Karma from you.
Positive Karma from you.
Thankyou and sending some to you ..
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Alan_50501: im with ya not doing well in person or on any sites..finding out maybe i was meant to be and stay single
P.M.A.
Positive
Mental
Attitude
Shake it up in here!
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riyablossom: Thankyou and sending some to you ..
Appreciate that.
Now thats what it's all about folks!
Sending double back to you Riya.
Positive in Positive out!
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Rexus: kingdom or queendom? Who is the king then?
There is a competition running in another thread for the king position!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Hugz_n_Kissez: There is a competition running in another thread for the king position!!!!!!!!!!!!
Which will never end, I guess.
better declare it as a queendom------ This thread is Archived ------
Rexus: Which will never end, I guess. better declare it as a queendom
Well yes in fact...it will end at page 51...so it's beyond my control now!!!!!
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lktolbert: Hi Mastic55!
I have read many of your forum posts over time, and my impression of you is that you are a lovely, witty, adorable person.
I have read a number of posts referring to the wonderful "friends" met here on CS. I came to realize that all those "friends" with whom I was chatting were really "acquaintances." My friends were the people nearby whom I was neglecting by spending so much time on line! My friends are the people who pick up my kid from school when I have a flat tire, accompany me to the funeral of a loved one when they know I need a shoulder to lean on, help me pack when I'm moving, lend me a cup of sugar when I'm too just too tired or lazy to go to the store, bring me chicken soup when I'm sick, let me sleep at their place when a storm causes an electrical outage at mine, etc., etc., etc. I reciprocate such acts of friendship for them as well. I have realized that friendship is a lot of work.
Although there are MANY fabulous people on CS whom I am sure would be great friends, the inherent geographic challenge prevents friendship (by my definition). The most anyone here can offer is a kind word or solicited/unsolicited advice. To me, that is an acquaintance. I decided that it is worthwhile to forego 100 cyber-acquaintances for 1 three-dimensional friend.
Well, my 15-minute internet time has expired. I'm outta here! Again, I think you're great!
I have read many of your forum posts over time, and my impression of you is that you are a lovely, witty, adorable person.
I have read a number of posts referring to the wonderful "friends" met here on CS. I came to realize that all those "friends" with whom I was chatting were really "acquaintances." My friends were the people nearby whom I was neglecting by spending so much time on line! My friends are the people who pick up my kid from school when I have a flat tire, accompany me to the funeral of a loved one when they know I need a shoulder to lean on, help me pack when I'm moving, lend me a cup of sugar when I'm too just too tired or lazy to go to the store, bring me chicken soup when I'm sick, let me sleep at their place when a storm causes an electrical outage at mine, etc., etc., etc. I reciprocate such acts of friendship for them as well. I have realized that friendship is a lot of work.
Although there are MANY fabulous people on CS whom I am sure would be great friends, the inherent geographic challenge prevents friendship (by my definition). The most anyone here can offer is a kind word or solicited/unsolicited advice. To me, that is an acquaintance. I decided that it is worthwhile to forego 100 cyber-acquaintances for 1 three-dimensional friend.
Well, my 15-minute internet time has expired. I'm outta here! Again, I think you're great!
This probably will come as no surprise to you, Linda, but I disagree with this on several counts. I, too, have those helpful people in my life, too - for instance, I have a great neighbor whom I count as a good friend who has granted me safe harbor in his basement during a tornado (we all know what a voracious appetite they have for mobile homes!!) - but I count most of those helpful, flesh-and-blood people as acquaintances, in marked contrast to your own classification scheme.
What is the essence of friendship? I wouldn't say it consists of people who perform various services for you (yes, I know you're not making this claim, either, but you are placing an emphasis on this above, ergo....); rather, I believe the essence of friendship consists of caring about and being interested in the other person, and its primary handmaiden is *communication.* That is, the sharing of ourselves - our deepest desires, our humor, our observations - is the primary thing. Yes, I like having a neighbor who will - and has! - taken me under his wing, but I we don't enjoy a relationship that is nearly as intimate as some of those I've experienced online, where I've met a few people with whom I'm comfortable sharing extremely personal details about our lives.
I think one reason for this is that a cyberdating site simply allows you to efficiently meet and observe far larger numbers of people versus RL (for most of us). You can pick and choose from a much larger pool of people. The odds are far better - at least for rather unusual individuals such as myself - of finding like-minded individuals within such a "pool."
Then you can easily enough get to what I consider to be the essence of friendship - talking and sharing one's thoughts with one another. Certainly if one has the attitude that this is pointless because it might not lead to corporeal interactions, then one won't devote the time and energy necessary to reap the rewards of such a friendship (as you said, "it's a lot of work" - but it's hard work either way...just different kinds of work with different paybacks). If, however, one values friendship aside from doing things physically together (most of those things, one should note, consist of *talking* in different settings) - if one sees communication as the essential friendship ingredient - then one can reap enormous rewards from virtual friendships, I think.
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Ambrose2007: This probably will come as no surprise to you, Linda, but I disagree with this on several counts. I, too, have those helpful people in my life, too - for instance, I have a great neighbor whom I count as a good friend who has granted me safe harbor in his basement during a tornado (we all know what a voracious appetite they have for mobile homes!!) - but I count most of those helpful, flesh-and-blood people as acquaintances, in marked contrast to your own classification scheme.
What is the essence of friendship? I wouldn't say it consists of people who perform various services for you (yes, I know you're not making this claim, either, but you are placing an emphasis on this above, ergo....); rather, I believe the essence of friendship consists of caring about and being interested in the other person, and its primary handmaiden is *communication.* That is, the sharing of ourselves - our deepest desires, our humor, our observations - is the primary thing. Yes, I like having a neighbor who will - and has! - taken me under his wing, but I we don't enjoy a relationship that is nearly as intimate as some of those I've experienced online, where I've met a few people with whom I'm comfortable sharing extremely personal details about our lives.
I think one reason for this is that a cyberdating site simply allows you to efficiently meet and observe far larger numbers of people versus RL (for most of us). You can pick and choose from a much larger pool of people. The odds are far better - at least for rather unusual individuals such as myself - of finding like-minded individuals within such a "pool."
Then you can easily enough get to what I consider to be the essence of friendship - talking and sharing one's thoughts with one another. Certainly if one has the attitude that this is pointless because it might not lead to corporeal interactions, then one won't devote the time and energy necessary to reap the rewards of such a friendship (as you said, "it's a lot of work" - but it's hard work either way...just different kinds of work with different paybacks). If, however, one values friendship aside from doing things physically together (most of those things, one should note, consist of *talking* in different settings) - if one sees communication as the essential friendship ingredient - then one can reap enormous rewards from virtual friendships, I think.
What is the essence of friendship? I wouldn't say it consists of people who perform various services for you (yes, I know you're not making this claim, either, but you are placing an emphasis on this above, ergo....); rather, I believe the essence of friendship consists of caring about and being interested in the other person, and its primary handmaiden is *communication.* That is, the sharing of ourselves - our deepest desires, our humor, our observations - is the primary thing. Yes, I like having a neighbor who will - and has! - taken me under his wing, but I we don't enjoy a relationship that is nearly as intimate as some of those I've experienced online, where I've met a few people with whom I'm comfortable sharing extremely personal details about our lives.
I think one reason for this is that a cyberdating site simply allows you to efficiently meet and observe far larger numbers of people versus RL (for most of us). You can pick and choose from a much larger pool of people. The odds are far better - at least for rather unusual individuals such as myself - of finding like-minded individuals within such a "pool."
Then you can easily enough get to what I consider to be the essence of friendship - talking and sharing one's thoughts with one another. Certainly if one has the attitude that this is pointless because it might not lead to corporeal interactions, then one won't devote the time and energy necessary to reap the rewards of such a friendship (as you said, "it's a lot of work" - but it's hard work either way...just different kinds of work with different paybacks). If, however, one values friendship aside from doing things physically together (most of those things, one should note, consist of *talking* in different settings) - if one sees communication as the essential friendship ingredient - then one can reap enormous rewards from virtual friendships, I think.
I am getting myself a glass of vino collapso and going to read that Ambrose.
I will comment, I can feel it.
Hope you are well.
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Sommerauer71: I am getting myself a glass of vino collapso and going to read that Ambrose.
I will comment, I can feel it.
Hope you are well.
I will comment, I can feel it.
Hope you are well.
I'm procuring some cheap beer and readying myself to comment on your comment, Sommer.
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Ambrose2007: I'm happy that you have a "view," Sommer - but please take pity on those of us who aren't similarly blessed.
I think there's massive amounts of potential to find friendship and even love here, for those who are willing to put in the effort to do so. Putting in the effort can mean a lot of things, but I think most importantly it means taking the time to take an honest, even brutal, look at oneself and especially every facet of one's attitudes and behaviors regarding relationships. I hear so many people here and elsewhere lamenting the cruelty of love or life or reality or whathaveyou, and I'm fairly sure these individuals aren't making the aforementioned "effort."
Instead of bemoaning one's bad luck or the unfair attitudes/behaviors of others - things which you are powerless to change, and therefore believing in them serves only a self-crippling/self-paralytic purpose) - I think one should take responsibility for one's life-situation, including its romantic elements. If you can't find romance, it's not because the gods of love or the very world itself is conspiring against you - but rather because you're not looking in the right way or for the right things.
I think there's massive amounts of potential to find friendship and even love here, for those who are willing to put in the effort to do so. Putting in the effort can mean a lot of things, but I think most importantly it means taking the time to take an honest, even brutal, look at oneself and especially every facet of one's attitudes and behaviors regarding relationships. I hear so many people here and elsewhere lamenting the cruelty of love or life or reality or whathaveyou, and I'm fairly sure these individuals aren't making the aforementioned "effort."
Instead of bemoaning one's bad luck or the unfair attitudes/behaviors of others - things which you are powerless to change, and therefore believing in them serves only a self-crippling/self-paralytic purpose) - I think one should take responsibility for one's life-situation, including its romantic elements. If you can't find romance, it's not because the gods of love or the very world itself is conspiring against you - but rather because you're not looking in the right way or for the right things.
Well said b/f.....
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Ambrose2007: I'm happy that you have a "view," Sommer - but please take pity on those of us who aren't similarly blessed.
I think there's massive amounts of potential to find friendship and even love here, for those who are willing to put in the effort to do so. Putting in the effort can mean a lot of things, but I think most importantly it means taking the time to take an honest, even brutal, look at oneself and especially every facet of one's attitudes and behaviors regarding relationships. I hear so many people here and elsewhere lamenting the cruelty of love or life or reality or whathaveyou, and I'm fairly sure these individuals aren't making the aforementioned "effort."
Instead of bemoaning one's bad luck or the unfair attitudes/behaviors of others - things which you are powerless to change, and therefore believing in them serves only a self-crippling/self-paralytic purpose) - I think one should take responsibility for one's life-situation, including its romantic elements. If you can't find romance, it's not because the gods of love or the very world itself is conspiring against you - but rather because you're not looking in the right way or for the right things.
I think there's massive amounts of potential to find friendship and even love here, for those who are willing to put in the effort to do so. Putting in the effort can mean a lot of things, but I think most importantly it means taking the time to take an honest, even brutal, look at oneself and especially every facet of one's attitudes and behaviors regarding relationships. I hear so many people here and elsewhere lamenting the cruelty of love or life or reality or whathaveyou, and I'm fairly sure these individuals aren't making the aforementioned "effort."
Instead of bemoaning one's bad luck or the unfair attitudes/behaviors of others - things which you are powerless to change, and therefore believing in them serves only a self-crippling/self-paralytic purpose) - I think one should take responsibility for one's life-situation, including its romantic elements. If you can't find romance, it's not because the gods of love or the very world itself is conspiring against you - but rather because you're not looking in the right way or for the right things.
I must procure myself some cheap beer.
It makes you talk sense.
Wine, makes me spout rubbish.
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Hugz_n_Kissez: Well said b/f.....
Thanks, Hugsy honey!
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Sommerauer71: I must procure myself some cheap beer.
It makes you talk sense.
Wine, makes me spout rubbish.
It makes you talk sense.
Wine, makes me spout rubbish.
I haven't noticed you spouting much rubbish, Sommer. Quite the opposite - surely one of our most thoughtful and fair-minded posters. What a splendid addition you've made to the CS "family." ------ This thread is Archived ------
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im with ya not doing well in person or on any sites..finding out maybe i was meant to be and stay single