HAS ANYTHING FUNNY HA-HA HAPPENED TO YOU THIS WEEK? (56)
smoky: Huh?
I`ve had to overcome my phobia about travelling on trains - for the next three months I need to travel twice a week - and Be On Time. So I been checking and double checking the train schedules at my local station - the guy there speaks good english.
My first day, I was dithering about whether or not I had time for a quick smoke before boarding ..... when over that loudspeaker that they normally use to tell you to GET OFF THE TRACKS, comes this voice........
"YES, THAT IS THE CORRECT TRAIN - GET ON IT - YOU WILL BE SAFE!!" .... in English!
... So I`m trying to sign language him that I want to have a smoke ... .and back comes the instruction - "GET ON THAT TRAIN!!!!"
So I had to get on that train.......
I`ve had to overcome my phobia about travelling on trains - for the next three months I need to travel twice a week - and Be On Time. So I been checking and double checking the train schedules at my local station - the guy there speaks good english.
My first day, I was dithering about whether or not I had time for a quick smoke before boarding ..... when over that loudspeaker that they normally use to tell you to GET OFF THE TRACKS, comes this voice........
"YES, THAT IS THE CORRECT TRAIN - GET ON IT - YOU WILL BE SAFE!!" .... in English!
... So I`m trying to sign language him that I want to have a smoke ... .and back comes the instruction - "GET ON THAT TRAIN!!!!"
So I had to get on that train.......
I am wetting myself Smoky.
Sommerauer71: I am wetting myself Smoky.
Yes, sometimes I feel like MR BEAN!
smoky: Yes, sometimes I feel like MR BEAN!
Nothing funny has happened to me this week, fat leg, feeling miserable.
But I was visiting a client in London at a hospital, we used to assess their HODS, I went to the lavatory, and thought I had locked the door, I was there, as you do, tinkling away, and suddenly the door opens, a doctor, he was stunned that he had walked in on me, and I looked at him and said.
'Can I help you'? With my knickers and sat on the crown peeing as though it was coming into prohibition.
smoky: Huh?
I`ve had to overcome my phobia about travelling on trains - for the next three months I need to travel twice a week - and Be On Time. So I been checking and double checking the train schedules at my local station - the guy there speaks good english.
My first day, I was dithering about whether or not I had time for a quick smoke before boarding ..... when over that loudspeaker that they normally use to tell you to GET OFF THE TRACKS, comes this voice........
"YES, THAT IS THE CORRECT TRAIN - GET ON IT - YOU WILL BE SAFE!!" .... in English!
... So I`m trying to sign language him that I want to have a smoke ... .and back comes the instruction - "GET ON THAT TRAIN!!!!"
So I had to get on that train.......
I`ve had to overcome my phobia about travelling on trains - for the next three months I need to travel twice a week - and Be On Time. So I been checking and double checking the train schedules at my local station - the guy there speaks good english.
My first day, I was dithering about whether or not I had time for a quick smoke before boarding ..... when over that loudspeaker that they normally use to tell you to GET OFF THE TRACKS, comes this voice........
"YES, THAT IS THE CORRECT TRAIN - GET ON IT - YOU WILL BE SAFE!!" .... in English!
... So I`m trying to sign language him that I want to have a smoke ... .and back comes the instruction - "GET ON THAT TRAIN!!!!"
So I had to get on that train.......
What a nice man Smoky. and I thought the Swiss didn't have a sense of humour...joke!!!!Nothing really funny haha happened to me, but I've been reading a lot lately about the KGB or FSB as they are now known as and I learnt that there was a bar where many agents frequent near Red Square. I asked one of my students to accompany me there. She thought I was crazy, but I just wanted to people watch...you know what I mean?
Anyway we went and I people watched. Today one of the security guys in the office where I'm teaching gave me a parcel....long story, and packed it well enough to carry while I patiently waited. Thank you, that's very good, I said in Russian. You're welcome he replied....in Russian, it's no problem, I am Lieutenant Colonel in the FSB and I'm used to preparing parcels...Yikes!!! I checked him out, and it's true! Everybody here has two jobs.
Last weekend I am pleading the 5th ...but it was very good....
Smoky!!!!! Can just imagine the scene!!!! I bet you were like?
Who? Moi? But, but I wanna 
I betta get in There!!! 
smoky: ... So I`m trying to sign language him that I want to have a smoke ... .and back comes the instruction - "GET ON THAT TRAIN!!!!"
So I had to get on that train.......
So I had to get on that train.......
Oh, I would have paid handsome money to have been there to see this
Good on them!
Sommerauer71: 'Can I help you'? With my knickers and sat on the crown peeing as though it was coming into prohibition.
It is all about keeping the cool
Doc or not, with that comment added he has got to have had a red face
mike69spain: It is all about keeping the cool
Doc or not, with that comment added he has got to have had a red face
Doc or not, with that comment added he has got to have had a red face
Poor man.
I have just signed for Barcelona, I need to book flights.
I need to find a hotel.
So much to do. ]
Sommerauer71: Poor man.
I have just signed for Barcelona, I need to book flights.
I need to find a hotel.
So much to do. ]
I have just signed for Barcelona, I need to book flights.
I need to find a hotel.
So much to do. ]
Eureka!
This is getting only better!
mike69spain: Eureka!
This is getting only better!
This is getting only better!
Whats the craic with your photo? Looks a bit like the shroud of turin?
phoenix: Whats the craic with your photo? Looks a bit like the shroud of turin?
Holy Ghost (pun intended) does it?
I was tired of the white regular profile face, added a pig nose and piggly eyes.
Cute, right?
mike69spain: Eureka!
This is getting only better!
This is getting only better!
I will be staying at the Hilton in Barcelona.
Anyway, funny story coming up.
My stepmother buys their dog, dog mince from the butchers, horrible stuff, about 75pplb.
So she had iot bubbling away on the stove, my father has just got in from the pub, he boiled some potatoes, added tabasco, to the dog mince, tarted it all up with herbs and spices and made himself a lovely Shepherd's Pie.
Stepmother comes home, dad snoring on the sofa, she sees the pan in the dishwasher, calls me and tells me dad has eaten the dog mince.
The cat thought it was hilarious, oh the hours of fun we are going to have.
phoenix: Whats the craic with your photo? Looks a bit like the shroud of turin?
Are you coming to Spain?
Sommerauer71: So she had iot bubbling away on the stove, my father has just got in from the pub, he boiled some potatoes, added tabasco, to the dog mince, tarted it all up with herbs and spices and made himself a lovely Shepherd's Pie.
A good man ... and so on
Hilton? I dont know the name of the place where I'll, somewhere close to where Mano stays
I spilled coffee on my man package today...It looked really funny walking out of the cafè with a huge coffee stain in the unit area Man, the looks I got...
Man, the looks I got...StressFree: I spilled coffee on my man package today...It looked really funny walking out of the cafè with a huge coffee stain in the unit area Man, the looks I got...
Ooooh, ouch.
Sommerauer71: Are you coming to Spain?
Qui moi? Love to but I needed here..
, next time maybe
busy guy..
Sommerauer71: Another funny story.
I bought her a chair, but she has not plugged it in yet, .
I bought her a chair, but she has not plugged it in yet, .
Mmmmmm......an electric chair for the mother-in law!
What a novel gift idea!
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Created: Sep 2008
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I`ve had to overcome my phobia about travelling on trains - for the next three months I need to travel twice a week - and Be On Time. So I been checking and double checking the train schedules at my local station - the guy there speaks good english.
My first day, I was dithering about whether or not I had time for a quick smoke before boarding ..... when over that loudspeaker that they normally use to tell you to GET OFF THE TRACKS, comes this voice........
"YES, THAT IS THE CORRECT TRAIN - GET ON IT - YOU WILL BE SAFE!!" .... in English!
... So I`m trying to sign language him that I want to have a smoke ... .and back comes the instruction - "GET ON THAT TRAIN!!!!"
So I had to get on that train.......