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Vunce upon a time......... (15)

Sep 5, 2008 2:22 AM CST Vunce upon a time.........
rusty_knight
rusty_knightrusty_knightGozo, Malta254 Threads 4 Polls 10,684 Posts
Once upon a time, in the second millennium, a great sage from Zurich named 'Uncle Googlius' stumbled upon an interesting fact concerning the reproductive habits of a rather imposing plant that lived in the uppper Amazon basin.

Hastily Uncle Googlius posted a photograph of this plant onto the EU forum. This plant, whose scientific name I cannot even attempt to spell, was known by the natives as the 'kwambanangankokobwannyahnyah' plant - which simply translates into English:

'bloodydangerousgetthehelloutofthewayofthisthingy' plant

The plant looks a little like a venus fly trap thingy plant, but is about 1,000 times bigger............ it normally devours bats and flying foxes but has been known to suck off the arm of a man, woman or child stupid enough to stick a hand on it's pretty, 'delicate' leaves that cover it's huge 'jaws'.

Anyway, Uncle Googlius (being rather bored that day) decided to charter a private plane and take a small team to investigate this exotic and evil plant.

He rang up his intrepid explorer friend Smoky 'I'm up for it' Jones, and a few other characters who loved a little adventure.

Three days later they set off..........
Sep 6, 2008 1:22 AM CST Vunce upon a time.........
CuspofMagic
CuspofMagicCuspofMagiclight, South Australia Australia320 Threads 2 Polls 10,696 Posts
and were never heard of again.
Sep 6, 2008 3:17 AM CST Vunce upon a time.........
rusty_knight
rusty_knightrusty_knightGozo, Malta254 Threads 4 Polls 10,684 Posts
CuspofMagic: and were never heard of again.


~GULP~ !!!!!!
Sep 7, 2008 1:24 PM CST Vunce upon a time.........
Cherokeegrandma
CherokeegrandmaCherokeegrandmaValencia, Spain11 Threads 230 Posts
Rusty, sweet knight, just wanna greet you as lately I am more into deeper threads on our native sites, meaning America´s First People...I know you understand me...it s fun here but too superficial for my taste, but I promise if TV is very boring to check in on you and Hollandgirl, as your threads are my favourites here. Hugs and many blessingsbouquet
teddybear
Sep 7, 2008 1:55 PM CST Vunce upon a time.........
smoky
smokysmokyUnterland, Zurich Switzerland300 Threads 6 Polls 13,267 Posts
rusty_knight: Once upon a time, in the second millennium, a great sage from Zurich named 'Uncle Googlius' stumbled upon an interesting fact concerning the reproductive habits of a rather imposing plant that lived in the uppper Amazon basin.

Hastily Uncle Googlius posted a photograph of this plant onto the EU forum. This plant, whose scientific name I cannot even attempt to spell, was known by the natives as the 'kwambanangankokobwannyahnyah' plant - which simply translates into English:

'bloodydangerousgetthehelloutofthewayofthisthingy' plant

The plant looks a little like a venus fly trap thingy plant, but is about 1,000 times bigger............ it normally devours bats and flying foxes but has been known to suck off the arm of a man, woman or child stupid enough to stick a hand on it's pretty, 'delicate' leaves that cover it's huge 'jaws'.

Anyway, Uncle Googlius (being rather bored that day) decided to charter a private plane and take a small team to investigate this exotic and evil plant.

He rang up his intrepid explorer friend Smoky 'I'm up for it' Jones, and a few other characters who loved a little adventure.

Three days later they set off..........


............................But, not before consulting the Shaman of the Site, the WiseWoman known as Cherokeegrandmother - before coming before her in supplication, on bended knees they approached her Tepee, and sat silently under the Big Tree outside her Lodge, awaiting her summons......... They waited for three days and three nights, without sating their hunger or slating their thirst, listening to her chanting to the Four Winds and Entreating the Elders in the Sky.

On the morning of the fourth day, after Cherokeegrandmother had greeted the dawn with upraised arms and completed her ritual bathe in the icy waters of the swift flowing stream from the mountains - they were finally bade to approach the Sacred Tepee.

"Greetings my children" her soft voice greeted them, "You have come to ask my blessings on your trip to investigate this exotic plant known as the "Bloodydangerousplantgetthehelloutoftheway"?

With eyes downcast they muttered in unison "Yes, oh Mother of the Earth, if you will bless us, we undertake this most dangerous journey".

"And what the heck do you hope to achieve with this undertaking - Exactly - May I ask?" encouraged Cherokeegrandmother.

"We are hoping, Oh Wise One, to propogate it in many countries, and ...... Do you realy want to know Oh Cherokeegrandmother?"

"Yes, you have to be honest with me, my children, if you are needing my blessings on this most dangerous journey".

"Well ......... you see ... we were thinking that, well, maybe .... maybe we could send little pot plants to all the Politicians of the countries of the world? ... and hope, that when the plants grow up, they could perhaps save a lot of future misery, in a natural sort of way, if you know what we mean?"

"Go. Go my children, and may your venture prove to be successful!" and Cherokeegrandmother of the First People drew back her hands and made a gesture towards the glowing coals of the fire before her Great Lodge - and thick white billowing smoke issued forth. As the smoke dissipated ...... Cherokeegrandmother was nowhere to be seen!....

They turned their backs on the Great Lodge and retraced their steps thru the forest, cadged a lift in a furniture delivery truck .... and got off at the first McDonalds on the highway ..........Where they sat and munched their way thru many Big Macs and Cokes while discussing their means of getting to the Rain Forests to find this plant.........
Sep 9, 2008 11:56 AM CST Vunce upon a time.........
smoky
smokysmokyUnterland, Zurich Switzerland300 Threads 6 Polls 13,267 Posts
(.... oh goody, I`m all alone here and can indulge my macabre sense of humour, I see.......)

The diner door flew open and a blast of wind blew all the sugar basins off the tables and the tablecloths out the windows....

"Ah HA! I found you all, just in time!!! You all thought you could go a sneakin`off to find my find huh?! But I got news for you all" The two truck drivers were mesmerised by the sheer size of the man accosting them and the wildness of his hair, and his red glaring eyes. "Who yo talkin`aboot mon?" said the truck driver as he unwound the tablecloth from around his head where it had landed on its abortive attempt to escape thru the window, spilling the sugar into his soup.

Pointing his finger in the cringing truck drivers face he said "YOU, you miserable two-timing sneak - sneaking up to the WiseWomans Tepee and indulging all MY secrets that I entrusted to you thru my email!"

"Nah Mon, Yo got da wrong man most definitely, mon, we`s just havin`a burger and soup àfor we hits da road to deliver ours cargo of TV`s to Ikea".

Just then the wild-eyed man swung round as the door behind him closed after Professor Googlie-Wooglie, Wall-Eyed Elly, The Kid (cause he always carried gum in his pocket), and Her Royal Highness Queen Smoky sneaked out the door and raced for an un-attended truck.

"AH ha, gotcha" cried the wild-eyed mad-dog-haired guy.... "You think you can outwit the Pimple of Gozo HEY?!!! Well, you got another think coming to you all!" he yelled as he raced after them.

The truck careened out of the parking lot, and The Pimple of Gozo gave a flying lurch and clung onto the door handles at the back of the truck where he managed eventually to lever himself up onto the roof.

................................??

...........................?

.................any takers to continue? If not, I shall return, and mention your names in this saga!

..... go on .... Give it a try!

grin cheers hug
Sep 10, 2008 9:05 AM CST Vunce upon a time.........
Cherokeegrandma
CherokeegrandmaCherokeegrandmaValencia, Spain11 Threads 230 Posts
smoky: ............................But, not before consulting the Shaman of the Site, the WiseWoman known as Cherokeegrandmother - before coming before her in supplication, on bended knees they approached her Tepee, and sat silently under the Big Tree outside her Lodge, awaiting her summons......... They waited for three days and three nights, without sating their hunger or slating their thirst, listening to her chanting to the Four Winds and Entreating the Elders in the Sky.

On the morning of the fourth day, after Cherokeegrandmother had greeted the dawn with upraised arms and completed her ritual bathe in the icy waters of the swift flowing stream from the mountains - they were finally bade to approach the Sacred Tepee.

"Greetings my children" her soft voice greeted them, "You have come to ask my blessings on your trip to investigate this exotic plant known as the "Bloodydangerousplantgetthehelloutoftheway"?

With eyes downcast they muttered in unison "Yes, oh Mother of the Earth, if you will bless us, we undertake this most dangerous journey".

"And what the heck do you hope to achieve with this undertaking - Exactly - May I ask?" encouraged Cherokeegrandmother.

"We are hoping, Oh Wise One, to propogate it in many countries, and ...... Do you realy want to know Oh Cherokeegrandmother?"

"Yes, you have to be honest with me, my children, if you are needing my blessings on this most dangerous journey".

"Well ......... you see ... we were thinking that, well, maybe .... maybe we could send little pot plants to all the Politicians of the countries of the world? ... and hope, that when the plants grow up, they could perhaps save a lot of future misery, in a natural sort of way, if you know what we mean?"

"Go. Go my children, and may your venture prove to be successful!" and Cherokeegrandmother of the First People drew back her hands and made a gesture towards the glowing coals of the fire before her Great Lodge - and thick white billowing smoke issued forth. As the smoke dissipated ...... Cherokeegrandmother was nowhere to be seen!....

They turned their backs on the Great Lodge and retraced their steps thru the forest, cadged a lift in a furniture delivery truck .... and got off at the first McDonalds on the highway ..........Where they sat and munched their way thru many Big Macs and Cokes while discussing their means of getting to the Rain Forests to find this plant.........


rolling on the floor laughing cheering applause Naaaaa you are not alone Smoky and you got my blessings for being a wonderful story teller....just have in mind I hate ice cold water and would never bath in there...the warm mediterranean sea is doing just fine for my rituals .-)
Used to go sking in Switzerland as a child and no go I return to such ice cold place...unless in summer.
Now seriously talking, I would aprove them seeking for that plant and giving it to all politicians if it would make them talk truth as a side effectdevil would be a huge human benefit.
And as to being Shaman, you hit ground, I am...but not like those foolish Hollywood films teach youtongue
May all your days be blessed and ....people you can start breathing again, no curse is coming Smoky´s wayrolling on the floor laughing
teddybear
Sep 10, 2008 9:21 AM CST Vunce upon a time.........
smoky
smokysmokyUnterland, Zurich Switzerland300 Threads 6 Polls 13,267 Posts
Cherokeegrandma: Naaaaa you are not alone Smoky and you got my blessings for being a wonderful story teller....just have in mind I hate ice cold water and would never bath in there...the warm mediterranean sea is doing just fine for my rituals .-)
Used to go sking in Switzerland as a child and no go I return to such ice cold place...unless in summer.
Now seriously talking, I would aprove them seeking for that plant and giving it to all politicians if it would make them talk truth as a side effect would be a huge human benefit.
And as to being Shaman, you hit ground, I am...but not like those foolish Hollywood films teach you
May all your days be blessed and ....people you can start breathing again, no curse is coming Smoky´s way


Oh I am so happy that you are not annoyed at being in this story! But we realy needed a WisePerson for the travellers to consult and of course you were the first person to come to mind as being perfect for this role!

Only the last part of your post is disturbing - for the reason that a curse should never ever be used because, (perhaps you did not know this? but if you do then I apologise but feel it is worth mentioning anyway).... Unless a person is able to completely disassociate themselves from the dimensions of the earth - the curse WILL rebound on the person issuing it - It is a very dangerous practice to indulge in.

You as a young person (opposed to me being much much older) safer methods to indulge in is to impart goodwill and blessings on others - as they also rebound on the person issuing them.

I wish you much joy and delight in your Life Journey! Shalom
Sep 11, 2008 3:37 PM CST Vunce upon a time.........
Cherokeegrandma
CherokeegrandmaCherokeegrandmaValencia, Spain11 Threads 230 Posts
Smoky, I am well aware of what a curse can do, maybe even much better than you might have the slightest idea about...so I suppose you also know that all we feel, think and talk (write) comes back to us. In our native way, the circle is well known, so we just sit and wait to see how people punish themsleves...without knowing that their subconcious mind is creating it. Pitty is that some of our native people have forgotten our ancient wisdom and act like non-natives love to do.
Suppose the silence of Rusty and the rest of our friends here should have given you an idea that even non-natives are able to learn respect in a much deeper way.
Now, as you love tales, I will post one today, so you are invited to sit by my fire and listen...maybe after you might like to think about before talking up. Many blessings to you.
teddybear
Sep 12, 2008 1:39 PM CST Vunce upon a time.........
smoky
smokysmokyUnterland, Zurich Switzerland300 Threads 6 Polls 13,267 Posts
Cherokeegrandma: Smoky, I am well aware of what a curse can do, maybe even much better than you might have the slightest idea about...so I suppose you also know that all we feel, think and talk (write) comes back to us. In our native way, the circle is well known, so we just sit and wait to see how people punish themsleves...without knowing that their subconcious mind is creating it. Pitty is that some of our native people have forgotten our ancient wisdom and act like non-natives love to do.
Suppose the silence of Rusty and the rest of our friends here should have given you an idea that even non-natives are able to learn respect in a much deeper way.
Now, as you love tales, I will post one today, so you are invited to sit by my fire and listen...maybe after you might like to think about before talking up. Many blessings to you.


Well, young lady, you are the one who has been complaining about the quality of this site - and recently bade us all farewell. It was attempted to bring you back into the circle of friends here - but seems your esteemed position of self-importance inhibits the traditional humble role of the ancient Shamans, and your forked-tongue approach to writing to one who bade you no ill does nothing to credit you with the native intelligence inherent in the folk whom you are attempting to represent.

Seems this is a sort of cult thing that some folk just latch onto? I have known many who have these similar claims, some of them are re-incarnations or claim some depleted bloodline - The strange thing I find is none of them seem to live amongst their "own" downtrodden folk where assistance and numbers would surely assist them more than mere words in foreign countries? The tragedies of their FAS babies should surely invoke some sympathy from their "own Shamans" who could assist?

Well, thanks for the offer of sitting at your fire but I decline because having read all the histories of the Native Americans, I doubt any New Age Shaman could have better stories than Black Elk?
Sep 14, 2008 8:25 PM CST Vunce upon a time.........
CuspofMagic
CuspofMagicCuspofMagiclight, South Australia Australia320 Threads 2 Polls 10,696 Posts
rusty_knight: ~GULP~ !!!!!!


--- and then silence - Annie pensively sipped her cup of peppermint tea as she contemplated the next move . Annie- who's father was on that supposedly fateful expedition into the rain forests of Ecuador- had squeezed and kissed her firmly as tears streamed upon her rosy cheeks " I'll be back in a few weeks" were his parting words.
Sep 15, 2008 1:52 PM CST Vunce upon a time.........
smoky
smokysmokyUnterland, Zurich Switzerland300 Threads 6 Polls 13,267 Posts
CuspofMagic: --- and then silence - Annie pensively sipped her cup of peppermint tea as she contemplated the next move . Annie- who's father was on that supposedly fateful expedition into the rain forests of Ecuador- had squeezed and kissed her firmly as tears streamed upon her rosy cheeks " I'll be back in a few weeks" were his parting words.


And ... true to his words ..... his back arrived back .... the entire gleaming vertabrae all shiny and clean with his gleamingly white skull perched atop it.

Attached was a little note .....

"Please accept your fathers back - tis all that is left of him after he leaned against the stem of the "'kwambanangankokobwannyahnyah' plant - which, simply translated into English means 'bloodydangerousgetthehelloutofthewayofthisthingy' plant. He should have known better, but he forgot, it seems.

Yours sincerely,

Chief Headman
chicken
(no thumbprint cause I lost my hands to dang plant last week and rely on missionary with long nose to do typing)
PS. We still have his torso. Would you like it mailed as well? We have eaten the meat off it, but the bones are all still intact.

Please advise soonest.
Wambango-Gablushi Court (I am related to esteemed Pimple of Gozo - my grandfather ate his grandfather)
Sep 15, 2008 4:31 PM CST Vunce upon a time.........
rusty_knight
rusty_knightrusty_knightGozo, Malta254 Threads 4 Polls 10,684 Posts
smoky: And ... true to his words ..... his back arrived back .... the entire gleaming vertabrae all shiny and clean with his gleamingly white skull perched atop it.

Attached was a little note .....

"Please accept your fathers back - tis all that is left of him after he leaned against the stem of the "'kwambanangankokobwannyahnyah' plant - which, simply translated into English means 'bloodydangerousgetthehelloutofthewayofthisthingy' plant. He should have known better, but he forgot, it seems.

Yours sincerely,

Chief Headman

(no thumbprint cause I lost my hands to dang plant last week and rely on missionary with long nose to do typing)
PS. We still have his torso. Would you like it mailed as well? We have eaten the meat off it, but the bones are all still intact.

Please advise soonest.
Wambango-Gablushi Court (I am related to esteemed Pimple of Gozo - my grandfather ate his grandfather)


The Grand Pimple studied his visage in the mirror that the beautiful young Amazonian woman held for him in her trembling hands.

'Damn these mossies and flies' he growled menacingly

Then he thought of the oodles of cash he'd make when he found and took back the thingybob tree - if only Uncle Googlius and Queen Smoky didn't get to it first........

He smiled sweetly at the Amazonian girl and thought how her figure was similar to that of a very nice Swedish volleyball player he'd seduced just before this adventure began; then he shook his head and said firmly:

'Business before pleasure!'

His beautiful Amazonian wriggled her lithe body seductively (thinking that the Grand Pimple might be about to give her another piece of yummy bubble gum, but it was not meant to be).

The Grand Pimple strode off purposefully into the jungle, the Amazonian running behind him bobbing ever so sweetly, and a cloud of blood sucking insects followed them - hovering over their heads like a million miniature vampires.............
Sep 16, 2008 5:07 AM CST Vunce upon a time.........
CuspofMagic
CuspofMagicCuspofMagiclight, South Australia Australia320 Threads 2 Polls 10,696 Posts
--- they had not gone a hundred meters when all of a sudden the mozzies changed into powder blue pink and white humming birds strumming silver harp-pets --- the gossamer strings glistened in the bright sunshine and silkened notes carried through the soft breeze that made all the creatures in the rain forest stand still
Sep 18, 2008 8:37 AM CST Vunce upon a time.........
smoky
smokysmokyUnterland, Zurich Switzerland300 Threads 6 Polls 13,267 Posts
CuspofMagic: --- they had not gone a hundred meters when all of a sudden the mozzies changed into powder blue pink and white humming birds strumming silver harp-pets --- the gossamer strings glistened in the bright sunshine and silkened notes carried through the soft breeze that made all the creatures in the rain forest stand still


The Man of Magic Cusp had cast a spell over the entire rain-forest! Everything was frozen in Time! The Grand Pimple of Gozo was standing one leg suspended over a rotting log, even the powder blue pink and white humming birds were frozen too. Only his eyes could move, and he gazed about him fearfully... "Oh no! I`m gonna miss my cruise ship" he wailed to himself inside his head.

Eventually he fell asleep. Three days later he awoke. Joyfully he discovered everything was un-frozen! He just could not figure out why he was wearing a short pink tutu and clutching a Volley Ball? He scratched his head in puzzlement, and then noticed a fluttering piece of paper tacked to the rotting tree trunk next to him. He bent down to read it .... "Welcome to the Volley Ball Team! signed: Phoenix" it said.

"Oh no!" he cried and scrabbled in his rucksack and brought out a small mirror wherein he looked at himself ....... Gazing back at him was a suntanned blonde with bright red lipstick and mascared eyelashes!
"Oh Joy!" he cried "At LAST! I get to be a Beach Volley Ball Player!"

Next Chapter ....... The Rusty Blonde meets a Match!
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