Arrange Marriages!!!!!! ( Archived) (220)

Yes i am right with you on that...

Really is terrible, once you think about it..

Not knocking anybody here..just giving opinion

Very good... I'm sure he is.





You are welcome & thank you.

Your a very nice lady

Some of the arranged marriages are arranged from birth, and the couple never get to interact with each other until the actual wedding ceremony. Now THAT would be too scary.

If it's to where you get the chance to meet the person & have a chance to get to know them a little ahead of time it might be different...but I think I'd want the final say. They could set up the first date, but where it goes from there....up to me & him.

My parents have been married for 56 years. They knew each other in high school. They each dated someone else in high school (as a group) before they started dating each other.

Hello and yes if they had time to meet and actually get to know
one another b4 the big day..would be ok..i quess...

Glad to know your parents too been married a long time...

but it is a scary thing..if you dont meet until the actual day..

Dont think i could do it or go through it..

Tks for commenting

Honestly.. I wouldn't even consider it..

absolutely not.

I am with you there Claire

Ladies, reading the entries I have to wonder at where in the world you get the bizarre notions of parents or family members giving you ultimatums ...it is NOT a 'do or die' or 'you marry who I tell you you to marry or we disown you and you get out of our lives' scenarios....this sounds more like the old contrived 'Hollywood' images of history. The social and family situations of 'arranged' marriages (read: advised)as written in Tolstoy's novel War And Peace are much more closer to the actual and realistic way these matters are conducted. The parents advise and council; they do not tell you what to think, or when to think just as no one tells you when to go to the bathroom or not.... There is no possible way anyone can force anyone to an altar except perhaps in some rural primitive town in the Ozark Mountains, or some primitive fishing village somewhere along the Atlantic or Mediterranean coasts, but even there the Church would not comply or sanction any such forced arrangement, parents or anyone be damned; perhaps not in some remote village in the Caucasus Mountains of eastern Europe....
One is introduced to any number of prospects that in the opinions of the parents that may and would be 'a good match'. There are no hard and fast rules that you or anyone MUST obey. That is just ludicrous. You are given the benefits of all the experiences of your parents as you grow up and so also in regards to boy/ girl friends and then in finding someone to make a good marriage with; that other has also been given their families council and advise...from within those social circles and even commercial circles you have your pick; the family can act as 'facilitators' helping make things easier for thing to work out, providing Cupid with enough room as it were to hit his targets...%)
In the end, it is all up to each party to decide on all the pros's and con's of the match; advantages and disadvantages ultimately the deciding factor will be on having kept an open mind and heart. In the idyllic situation; is don't forget that Love grows over time, while passions subside so if you 'click' from among the prospects, then everyone 'clicks'. The 'Romantic' side can still be brought out. No love does not equal a marriage in the end, no matter what. This is something that I have counseled my daughter on and so far after trying and failing on her own impetuous nature, she is maturing in seeing that yes, I do have her best interests at heart and that my and her mothers experiences can make her life a lot less frustrating and painful in these matters. I sort of act as her pathfinder, not her over-seer as it were. I'm relatively pleased so far. She knows the basics of what type of man I would like for her to marry and her current boyfriend, while he may not be enrolled in St. Cyr Military Academy, he's a lot better than some 'business' zombie in some sombre grey flannel suit; hell, even an Anarchist would be more interesting than that! At least the anarchist would have substance ! %D Hollywood images are not real life.

I would definitely not want my life arranged for me.