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Why does love hurt so much? ( Archived) (67)

Sep 7, 2008 11:35 PM CST Why does love hurt so much?
I think it's the absence of mutual love that hurts.


Love is a bond between two people that goes beyond logic and reason, one that overwhelms the mind and senses enough to do things that are aporiable. But when only one person out of these two have this emotion they might not realize that the other might not reciprocate and it is this naiveity that blinds them from the plain and simple truth that they might get hurt as if they were in a relationship that doesn't mean anything what so ever! When/if they do get hurt then they can't understand why this person, who apparently loved them, did what they did. The answer is quite simple: Either that other person doesn't reciprocate or they need reminding that what they are doing to those that they love the most is in fact hurting them! If they change their ways, at least enough to show that they desperately want to try, then they love you back. If they don't then they don't love you back.
Unfortunately the word love is used far too often or perhaps the bond associated with that word is perceived to be far stronger that it actually is.
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Sep 7, 2008 11:37 PM CST Why does love hurt so much?
diogenes
diogenesdiogenesLongview, Texas USA100 Threads 8 Polls 7,200 Posts
I might comment later.....

first I have to go look up aporiable.
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Sep 7, 2008 11:38 PM CST Why does love hurt so much?
Hugz_n_Kissez
Hugz_n_KissezHugz_n_KissezSomeplace, Ontario Canada82 Threads 3 Polls 34,865 Posts
somechick: I think it's the absence of mutual love that hurts.Love is a bond between two people that goes beyond logic and reason, one that overwhelms the mind and senses enough to do things that are aporiable. But when only one person out of these two have this emotion they might not realize that the other might not reciprocate and it is this naiveity that blinds them from the plain and simple truth that they might get hurt as if they were in a relationship that doesn't mean anything what so ever! When/if they do get hurt then they can't understand why this person, who apparently loved them, did what they did. The answer is quite simple: Either that other person doesn't reciprocate or they need reminding that what they are doing to those that they love the most is in fact hurting them! If they change their ways, at least enough to show that they desperately want to try, then they love you back. If they don't then they don't love you back.
Unfortunately the word love is used far too often or perhaps the bond associated with that word is perceived to be far stronger that it actually is.



Are you talking unrequitted love and sabotage here????

wave wink hug
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Sep 7, 2008 11:39 PM CST Why does love hurt so much?
dazzling_dave
dazzling_davedazzling_daveWaynesboro, Virginia USA7 Threads 2,686 Posts
When you give expecting,you are selfish, and that does not bring you more money or better relationships. - Dave Ramsey
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Sep 7, 2008 11:40 PM CST Why does love hurt so much?
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
comfort
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Sep 7, 2008 11:41 PM CST Why does love hurt so much?
friendsfirst
friendsfirstfriendsfirstBurbank, Illinois USA122 Threads 1 Polls 7,648 Posts
popcorn
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Sep 7, 2008 11:41 PM CST Why does love hurt so much?
diogenes
diogenesdiogenesLongview, Texas USA100 Threads 8 Polls 7,200 Posts
confused

Nope I still don't get it.
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Sep 7, 2008 11:46 PM CST Why does love hurt so much?
Dro505
Dro505Dro505Toronto, Ontario Canada1 Posts
It's true, the word "love" does get thrown around a lot. Majority of the time people just like to hear it cuz it triggers something inside them.. an emotion if you will that makes them feel good. Do they actually mean it though. I've been in a few relationships where I indeed loved someone, cared for them...was always there for them when they needed me. There wasn't anything I wasn't willing to do for them and in the end they chose to take advantage of me and no talk to me for a month...sometimes up to a year. They said everything was fine but then when the time came, boom..."It's not that I didn't love you, I just don't anymore." The question still lingers...why did she keep going like nothing was wrong saying she loved me when she really didn't. Unfortunately, I've learned the hard was that love is a mystery...waiting to be unwrapped in time. It may take awhile,months...sometimes even years but once it hits both partners...it will be an amazing feeling.

The absence of mutal love ties into this because how much can you really know that your partner's feelings are true. Trust is the key factor in all this, they could tell you everyday or everytime they see you but in the end, what if they really don't. It's just a part of life that's always a challenge, that will always be difficult but I say...

bring it on ;)
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Sep 7, 2008 11:47 PM CST Why does love hurt so much?
friendsfirst
friendsfirstfriendsfirstBurbank, Illinois USA122 Threads 1 Polls 7,648 Posts
diogenes: Nope I still don't get it.


here.popcorn
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Sep 7, 2008 11:55 PM CST Why does love hurt so much?
Hugz_n_Kissez
Hugz_n_KissezHugz_n_KissezSomeplace, Ontario Canada82 Threads 3 Polls 34,865 Posts
I'll take a stab...when one is interested and the other party isn't particularly where there is a friendship involved to begin with...the person who is interested should indeed respect the person who is not decision not to take things any further...if that person can't just be friends and feels the friendship should end then so be it...but the one deciding not to take it to a relationship level should not be punished for not being interested....hug


Yes the word love is thrown around an awful lot these days...when I say it...I mean it...even if it's to friends...because there are different meanings of love....but all of them should mean a solid bond....however sometimes it's just a word to some people with an empty meaning if their actions don't show it....hug teddybear hug bouquet
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Sep 8, 2008 12:04 AM CST Why does love hurt so much?
Is it "love" that hurts or simply our own inadequacy to allow another to simply travel "their" journey?dunno
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Sep 8, 2008 12:07 AM CST Why does love hurt so much?
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
Well honestly , i think its important to be honest about your feelings to the other person and make an effort to keep it up. The rest then is left to the flow of things.

Lack of communication can lead to misunderstandings and hurt.

comfort
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Sep 8, 2008 12:14 AM CST Why does love hurt so much?
solitare
solitaresolitareBariloche, Rio Negro Argentina106 Threads 6,639 Posts
It's not the word or concept of Love nor the bond to it in all its wonderful meanings that is weak; it is , sadly, the people and many have lost their faith in it or have let it die out of neglect...it takes too much time and effort...
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Sep 8, 2008 12:16 AM CST Why does love hurt so much?
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
solitare: It's not the word or concept of Love nor the bond to it in all its wonderful meanings that is weak; it is , sadly, the people and many have lost their faith in it or have let it die out of neglect...it takes too much time and effort...


hug

Maybe one needs to attach more value to how they feel and make another feel . Maybe understand that the hurt you give can come back someday.

sigh
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Sep 8, 2008 12:29 AM CST Why does love hurt so much?
solitare
solitaresolitareBariloche, Rio Negro Argentina106 Threads 6,639 Posts
riyablossom: Maybe one needs to attach more value to how they feel and make another feel . Maybe understand that the hurt you give can come back someday.


Very true our reactions often come back and hit us when least expected. Sadly, I don't think most people ever develop a true or deeper understanding of the concept Love but only think of it as the immediate satisfaction of some desparate urge regardless of the emotions of the other person or that love means the purchase of some trinket for someone else to wear almost as a sign of bonded servitude...empathy is the least understood or accepted it seems...
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Sep 8, 2008 12:32 AM CST Why does love hurt so much?
Hugz_n_Kissez
Hugz_n_KissezHugz_n_KissezSomeplace, Ontario Canada82 Threads 3 Polls 34,865 Posts
solitare: Very true our reactions often come back and hit us when least expected. Sadly, I don't think most people ever develop a true or deeper understanding of the concept Love but only think of it as the immediate satisfaction of some desparate urge regardless of the emotions of the other person or that love means the purchase of some trinket for someone else to wear almost as a sign of bonded servitude...empathy is the least understood or accepted it seems...



wave wink hug cheers Well said....thumbs up
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Sep 8, 2008 12:32 AM CST Why does love hurt so much?
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
solitare: Very true our reactions often come back and hit us when least expected. Sadly, I don't think most people ever develop a true or deeper understanding of the concept Love but only think of it as the immediate satisfaction of some desparate urge regardless of the emotions of the other person or that love means the purchase of some trinket for someone else to wear almost as a sign of bonded servitude...empathy is the least understood or accepted it seems...


crying crying
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Sep 8, 2008 12:38 AM CST Why does love hurt so much?
mbcasey
mbcaseymbcaseyNorth Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA78 Threads 7 Polls 21,350 Posts
somechick: I think it's the absence of mutual love that hurts.Love is a bond between two people that goes beyond logic and reason, one that overwhelms the mind and senses enough to do things that are aporiable. But when only one person out of these two have this emotion they might not realize that the other might not reciprocate and it is this naiveity that blinds them from the plain and simple truth that they might get hurt as if they were in a relationship that doesn't mean anything what so ever! When/if they do get hurt then they can't understand why this person, who apparently loved them, did what they did. The answer is quite simple: Either that other person doesn't reciprocate or they need reminding that what they are doing to those that they love the most is in fact hurting them! If they change their ways, at least enough to show that they desperately want to try, then they love you back. If they don't then they don't love you back.
Unfortunately the word love is used far too often or perhaps the bond associated with that word is perceived to be far stronger that it actually is.


If there is only one person in a relationship that has love, then there cannot be a bond between two people that goes beyond logic and reason. That one person in love is bound to be hurt.

I agree with you...when there is true love, it does go beyond logic and reason, and for me, words to describe it.
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Sep 8, 2008 1:16 AM CST Why does love hurt so much?
Is not real love letting another go? Allowing them "their" journey in life. We humans are simply very selfish creatures, what we care about is what "we" want..sigh
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Sep 8, 2008 1:19 AM CST Why does love hurt so much?
Hugz_n_Kissez
Hugz_n_KissezHugz_n_KissezSomeplace, Ontario Canada82 Threads 3 Polls 34,865 Posts
HJFinAZ: Is not real love letting another go? Allowing them "their" journey in life. We humans are simply very selfish creatures, what we care about is what "we" want..



Yes...and why would you want to hold someone to a place the don't want to be anyway!!!!!





wave wink hug teddybear lips
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