How do you keep your 'Love' alive: Despite time, aging, quarrells, sickness.....? (160)
woody636: Doesn't that really depend on what the arguement/quarrel is about? Seems to me that happens mostly in the early stage of a relationship; when pride/individuality plays a large part of things. Later on you tend to grow together and accept each others faults/idiosyncrasies as part of why you love the other person in the first place.
That is, IF you get over the early stage and not break up because your pride was hurt too much.
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BarrenPneuma: Jenny I do meditate and fast quite often as well. I find it is very cleansing to remove myself from the physical especially when I am delving into abstracts. Love for me is a force separate from humanity, much like electricity but not with as much work involved to use. It radiates upon us all and will easily enter us and then can be shared freely. The greatest resource we have any hope of ever using. Some people have managed to build up a sort of sun-screen to prohibit this but they are not immune just defiant.
I also analyse everything that goes into my brain. Usually days or months after I have absorbed it to make certain that the events which led me to it or the idea of it do not conflict or colour what it really is.
When you meet someone for the first time, sit back after that encounter and write down everything you can about it. Put it away and do not look at it again. A month or two later write down everything you can about that person again. And then take out the first copy and look at them beside each other. There is sure to be many things that we guessed or wished, or otherwise misinterpreted. The entirety of your relationship with this person you will always find these little oddities and discrepancies because we are getting a clearer and clearer look into what makes them who they are. Also we will begin seeing them for who they are and not who we want or need them to be.
Money and any material resource are fine but I would trade everything for a Love that is as I Love. All the other stuff can be regained with a little elbow grease and determination.
Love is eternal and cannot be forced, beguiled, begged for or any other sort of manipulative desire. I take Love into me that is pure and give it out in the same form as often as possible. Trying to light your house with a burnt bulb is useless, and sometimes we have to get a new one, but Love is infinite and with some healing of our hardwiring we can learn again and again to give it out freely to others. Sometimes we share a bit of Love with someone and it does not come back, but it does manage to fire up their own ability to Love themselves again and from this they will be able to go out and share Love with others themselves. Perhaps in doing so they might 'heal' someone else who heals someone else who ends up healing the one you were meant to find. When I Love someone it is forever. I may not have the opportunity to openly share this Love with them but I will always Love them.
Wow , All I can say to this is Whew, if you wrote these words into poetry, I would fall out of my chair, your words are so deep and so meaningfully true.I also analyse everything that goes into my brain. Usually days or months after I have absorbed it to make certain that the events which led me to it or the idea of it do not conflict or colour what it really is.
When you meet someone for the first time, sit back after that encounter and write down everything you can about it. Put it away and do not look at it again. A month or two later write down everything you can about that person again. And then take out the first copy and look at them beside each other. There is sure to be many things that we guessed or wished, or otherwise misinterpreted. The entirety of your relationship with this person you will always find these little oddities and discrepancies because we are getting a clearer and clearer look into what makes them who they are. Also we will begin seeing them for who they are and not who we want or need them to be.
Money and any material resource are fine but I would trade everything for a Love that is as I Love. All the other stuff can be regained with a little elbow grease and determination.
Love is eternal and cannot be forced, beguiled, begged for or any other sort of manipulative desire. I take Love into me that is pure and give it out in the same form as often as possible. Trying to light your house with a burnt bulb is useless, and sometimes we have to get a new one, but Love is infinite and with some healing of our hardwiring we can learn again and again to give it out freely to others. Sometimes we share a bit of Love with someone and it does not come back, but it does manage to fire up their own ability to Love themselves again and from this they will be able to go out and share Love with others themselves. Perhaps in doing so they might 'heal' someone else who heals someone else who ends up healing the one you were meant to find. When I Love someone it is forever. I may not have the opportunity to openly share this Love with them but I will always Love them.
Dam I wish I could express my feelings as you can, but even more so find someone who understands what love really is about as what you have wrote.. Wow!!
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BarrenPneuma: Jenny I do meditate and fast quite often as well. I find it is very cleansing to remove myself from the physical especially when I am delving into abstracts. Love for me is a force separate from humanity, much like electricity but not with as much work involved to use. It radiates upon us all and will easily enter us and then can be shared freely. The greatest resource we have any hope of ever using. Some people have managed to build up a sort of sun-screen to prohibit this but they are not immune just defiant.
I also analyse everything that goes into my brain. Usually days or months after I have absorbed it to make certain that the events which led me to it or the idea of it do not conflict or colour what it really is.
When you meet someone for the first time, sit back after that encounter and write down everything you can about it. Put it away and do not look at it again. A month or two later write down everything you can about that person again. And then take out the first copy and look at them beside each other. There is sure to be many things that we guessed or wished, or otherwise misinterpreted. The entirety of your relationship with this person you will always find these little oddities and discrepancies because we are getting a clearer and clearer look into what makes them who they are. Also we will begin seeing them for who they are and not who we want or need them to be.
Money and any material resource are fine but I would trade everything for a Love that is as I Love. All the other stuff can be regained with a little elbow grease and determination.
I wish to elaborate with you more about this Barren, minds like yours intrique me.
Will mail you what I want your advise about okay? Hsve to formulate my thought first.
So much is going on in this busy mind of mine. Like a jumping bean at times!
I also wished you would tell us about meditation, I feel I would benefit from this, need this very much really!
Love is eternal and cannot be forced, beguiled, begged for or any other sort of manipulative desire. I take Love into me that is pure and give it out in the same form as often as possible. Trying to light your house with a burnt bulb is useless, and sometimes we have to get a new one, but Love is infinite and with some healing of our hardwiring we can learn again and again to give it out freely to others. Sometimes we share a bit of Love with someone and it does not come back, but it does manage to fire up their own ability to Love themselves again and from this they will be able to go out and share Love with others themselves. Perhaps in doing so they might 'heal' someone else who heals someone else who ends up healing the one you were meant to find. When I Love someone it is forever. I may not have the opportunity to openly share this Love with them but I will always Love them.
I also analyse everything that goes into my brain. Usually days or months after I have absorbed it to make certain that the events which led me to it or the idea of it do not conflict or colour what it really is.
When you meet someone for the first time, sit back after that encounter and write down everything you can about it. Put it away and do not look at it again. A month or two later write down everything you can about that person again. And then take out the first copy and look at them beside each other. There is sure to be many things that we guessed or wished, or otherwise misinterpreted. The entirety of your relationship with this person you will always find these little oddities and discrepancies because we are getting a clearer and clearer look into what makes them who they are. Also we will begin seeing them for who they are and not who we want or need them to be.
Money and any material resource are fine but I would trade everything for a Love that is as I Love. All the other stuff can be regained with a little elbow grease and determination.
I wish to elaborate with you more about this Barren, minds like yours intrique me.
Will mail you what I want your advise about okay? Hsve to formulate my thought first.
So much is going on in this busy mind of mine. Like a jumping bean at times!
I also wished you would tell us about meditation, I feel I would benefit from this, need this very much really!
Love is eternal and cannot be forced, beguiled, begged for or any other sort of manipulative desire. I take Love into me that is pure and give it out in the same form as often as possible. Trying to light your house with a burnt bulb is useless, and sometimes we have to get a new one, but Love is infinite and with some healing of our hardwiring we can learn again and again to give it out freely to others. Sometimes we share a bit of Love with someone and it does not come back, but it does manage to fire up their own ability to Love themselves again and from this they will be able to go out and share Love with others themselves. Perhaps in doing so they might 'heal' someone else who heals someone else who ends up healing the one you were meant to find. When I Love someone it is forever. I may not have the opportunity to openly share this Love with them but I will always Love them.
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At one stage, I did a bit of autimatic writing to answer a q about relationships ...
This is an extract of what "my hand" wrote:
... encouraging both to use faith in self and the other as an underlying force within the relationship. With faith (in self & the other) comes trust and motivation and peace. Faith in oneself and the other allows the truth that whatever the other does is never for the detriment of the relationship in intention. Faith (in self & the other) erradicates doubt in self and other. It brings positive reactions and ways of being. Positive ways of being bring positive reactions from other and so on and so forth.
When things go wrong, and you are both wondering what the heck is going on and how you got there... Your sabotaging minds and allowing doubt to set in, is how you got there. And letting negativity take hold above love and commitment.
Moving on from such negative place is easy!! Call a truce. Make it possible for the other to make first step or make it yourself. Understand the other's view point and then forgive!! Don't forget!! Just forgive. Accepting each other as you are is not easy. Accept from the other what does not affect you personally, by that I mean quality of life. Tolerate the rest if possible. Tolerate does not mean embrace. It means tolerate without fuss. It's a kind of acceptance without encouragement...
PS. Automatic writing can be used to allow a higher level of consciousness to "speak". To do automatic writing, get pen and paper, sit confortably, relax, ask a question, void your mind, let your hand do the writing without interruption or pause. Don't stop to question clarify or draw conclusions. Just keep on writing, don't worry about spelling or punctuation. Let it flow ...
This is an extract of what "my hand" wrote:
... encouraging both to use faith in self and the other as an underlying force within the relationship. With faith (in self & the other) comes trust and motivation and peace. Faith in oneself and the other allows the truth that whatever the other does is never for the detriment of the relationship in intention. Faith (in self & the other) erradicates doubt in self and other. It brings positive reactions and ways of being. Positive ways of being bring positive reactions from other and so on and so forth.
When things go wrong, and you are both wondering what the heck is going on and how you got there... Your sabotaging minds and allowing doubt to set in, is how you got there. And letting negativity take hold above love and commitment.
Moving on from such negative place is easy!! Call a truce. Make it possible for the other to make first step or make it yourself. Understand the other's view point and then forgive!! Don't forget!! Just forgive. Accepting each other as you are is not easy. Accept from the other what does not affect you personally, by that I mean quality of life. Tolerate the rest if possible. Tolerate does not mean embrace. It means tolerate without fuss. It's a kind of acceptance without encouragement...
PS. Automatic writing can be used to allow a higher level of consciousness to "speak". To do automatic writing, get pen and paper, sit confortably, relax, ask a question, void your mind, let your hand do the writing without interruption or pause. Don't stop to question clarify or draw conclusions. Just keep on writing, don't worry about spelling or punctuation. Let it flow ...
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livinglarge: What ? As in , Cee . You . Next . Tuesday.
NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
"C", as in commitment. In todays society, commitment is for as long as things go my way..
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Dawn7z: By taking it one day at a time realizing you are in it together and not enemies.
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The way to keep your LOVE alive is not to choke her to death when she says for the third time,"You know what? I liked the furniture the other way."
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HJFinAZ: NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!
"C", as in commitment. In todays society, commitment is for as long as things go my way..
"C", as in commitment. In todays society, commitment is for as long as things go my way..
It seems to me that commitment in a relationship isn't 100% like it should be. Some believe a realtionship is only 50/50 instead.
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An "opinion", and maybe some personal experience.
Love is a choice and an action, not a feeling. The feeling we experience is called Utopia, it is not real, it is simply a feeling. "Feelings", are not right or wrong, they just are. People get married, into relationships only because there is something material in it for them. When people are no longer having their "expectations" met, they cut an run.
Cutting and running is so much easier than sticking around for the long haul.
Love is a choice and an action, not a feeling. The feeling we experience is called Utopia, it is not real, it is simply a feeling. "Feelings", are not right or wrong, they just are. People get married, into relationships only because there is something material in it for them. When people are no longer having their "expectations" met, they cut an run.
Cutting and running is so much easier than sticking around for the long haul.
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somechick: It seems to me that commitment in a relationship isn't 100% like it should be. Some believe a realtionship is only 50/50 instead.
And some may think it is 1oo/o.........
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shipoker58: At least it is water soluable!!
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somechick: It seems to me that commitment in a relationship isn't 100% like it should be. Some believe a realtionship is only 50/50 instead.
Ironic how so many fail to see that 50/50 and so/so are much the same thing. They then fail to see the irony in the failing of their relationships as they expected so much more yet only put in their 50/50 or so/so... expecting the rest to come unfairly from the other.
Place any man or woman in a den of lions and I am sure the definition of 100% will soon come to mind and then they will wish they had their significant other with them to give their equal allotment as well to give them a fair chance to overcome the odds.
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I am human, therefor subject to human error. On some days I may be able to give 110%, on some days I may have absolutely nothing to give.
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Somechick, you are absolutely right, when in a relationship, I beleive that both parties should put in a 100%
Barren...
Your words are wonderful as always...
Barren...
Your words are wonderful as always...
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BarrenPneuma: Ironic how so many fail to see that 50/50 and so/so are much the same thing. They then fail to see the irony in the failing of their relationships as they expected so much more yet only put in their 50/50 or so/so... expecting the rest to come unfairly from the other.
Place any man or woman in a den of lions and I am sure the definition of 100% will soon come to mind and then they will wish they had their significant other with them to give their equal allotment as well to give them a fair chance to overcome the odds.
Place any man or woman in a den of lions and I am sure the definition of 100% will soon come to mind and then they will wish they had their significant other with them to give their equal allotment as well to give them a fair chance to overcome the odds.
Right...it's when one falls down on their percentage of giving that the other feels taken for granted...then resentment sets in...doubts and countless other things begin to crop up...so so just doesn't cut it....
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Some great responses so far. Thanks to all
Yes for sure, this is a singles site - everybody knows this - but we still have to love others each day.[for those who are wondering]. Most of the members here have had relationships which broke up because there was a breakdown in love, or what they expect love to be.
Lots of good posts on the 'Theories of Love', but how do we really Maintain the love we have for someone? I think women are better at this. Most women will still cook supper despite the fact that she is in a bad marriage. Maybe the husband will not eat it, because of fear, but I might be fearful too
My experience of LOVE is that it is very precious, but fragile. God must have created it to keep couples together. I for one sometimes ponder why a man would live with one woman - and vice versa - all his life when there are so many other beautiful women out there. Apart from wedding vows, joint property, and children, a desire to be with each other is the only thing that would make everything bearable.
Yes for sure, this is a singles site - everybody knows this - but we still have to love others each day.[for those who are wondering]. Most of the members here have had relationships which broke up because there was a breakdown in love, or what they expect love to be.
Lots of good posts on the 'Theories of Love', but how do we really Maintain the love we have for someone? I think women are better at this. Most women will still cook supper despite the fact that she is in a bad marriage. Maybe the husband will not eat it, because of fear, but I might be fearful too
My experience of LOVE is that it is very precious, but fragile. God must have created it to keep couples together. I for one sometimes ponder why a man would live with one woman - and vice versa - all his life when there are so many other beautiful women out there. Apart from wedding vows, joint property, and children, a desire to be with each other is the only thing that would make everything bearable.
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FlowerOfTheSun: At one stage, I did a bit of autimatic writing to answer a q about relationships ...
This is an extract of what "my hand" wrote:
... encouraging both to use faith in self and the other as an underlying force within the relationship. With faith (in self & the other) comes trust and motivation and peace. Faith in oneself and the other allows the truth that whatever the other does is never for the detriment of the relationship in intention. Faith (in self & the other) erradicates doubt in self and other. It brings positive reactions and ways of being. Positive ways of being bring positive reactions from other and so on and so forth. When things go wrong, and you are both wondering what the heck is going on and how you got there... Your sabotaging minds and allowing doubt to set in, is how you got there. And letting negativity take hold above love and commitment.
Moving on from such negative place is easy!! Call a truce. Make it possible for the other to make first step or make it yourself. Understand the other's view point and then forgive!! Don't forget!! Just forgive. Accepting each other as you are is not easy. Accept from the other what does not affect you personally, by that I mean quality of life. Tolerate the rest if possible. Tolerate does not mean embrace. It means tolerate without fuss. It's a kind of acceptance without encouragement...PS. Automatic writing can be used to allow a higher level of consciousness to "speak". To do automatic writing, get pen and paper, sit confortably, relax, ask a question, void your mind, let your hand do the writing without interruption or pause. Don't stop to question clarify or draw conclusions. Just keep on writing, don't worry about spelling or punctuation. Let it flow ...
This is an extract of what "my hand" wrote:
... encouraging both to use faith in self and the other as an underlying force within the relationship. With faith (in self & the other) comes trust and motivation and peace. Faith in oneself and the other allows the truth that whatever the other does is never for the detriment of the relationship in intention. Faith (in self & the other) erradicates doubt in self and other. It brings positive reactions and ways of being. Positive ways of being bring positive reactions from other and so on and so forth. When things go wrong, and you are both wondering what the heck is going on and how you got there... Your sabotaging minds and allowing doubt to set in, is how you got there. And letting negativity take hold above love and commitment.
Moving on from such negative place is easy!! Call a truce. Make it possible for the other to make first step or make it yourself. Understand the other's view point and then forgive!! Don't forget!! Just forgive. Accepting each other as you are is not easy. Accept from the other what does not affect you personally, by that I mean quality of life. Tolerate the rest if possible. Tolerate does not mean embrace. It means tolerate without fuss. It's a kind of acceptance without encouragement...PS. Automatic writing can be used to allow a higher level of consciousness to "speak". To do automatic writing, get pen and paper, sit confortably, relax, ask a question, void your mind, let your hand do the writing without interruption or pause. Don't stop to question clarify or draw conclusions. Just keep on writing, don't worry about spelling or punctuation. Let it flow ...
So true. I would hate to know that the girl I let slip away at 18 was truly my soul mate. It would mean no one else will do. Loving someone is not a skill we were born with: we have to develop it.
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If and when love "dies", is it in one party or always both?
Does one party perceive the grass to be greener on the other side or does both?
Does one party perceive the grass to be greener on the other side or does both?
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HJFinAZ: If and when love "dies", is it in one party or always both?
Does one party perceive the grass to be greener on the other side or does both?
Does one party perceive the grass to be greener on the other side or does both?
Usually it is one party first. That is why there is so much hurt feelings and anger when the other finds out. Of course this is usually due to the fact that they did not see the signs or was trying to flog a dead horse. JMO
Not sure about this. However a battered or unloved spouse would see ANY grass as greener.
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Please tell, do you meditate or are an analyzer, to come to these conclusions the way you are?
Your a deep thinker that is for sure.
I don't care how much money someone has it does not impress me, to have insight into the psyche, sure does!
I fogot laughter. I kept it goin 28 yrs with a devisting illness for 19 of those yrs 19 long years we were buddies He didn't stop loving me nor I him. You have to want not to give up
No amount of advice is going to change that You apologize a lot to each other. you have to find thing to laugh at. There's never enough time