I just saw this ad on Craigs list!! ( Archived) (393)

maybe I should switch to colored briefs?

That won't help darlin...the wet spot isn't what's gonna give you away!!!!!!!!!!

Well, it's been fun kids. I'm off to bed, but first(get it, "but first") I better wipe my a.................er, well, don't want to do the tmi thing. Maybe that cow is out of the barn though?

Need to find home for neighbors

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Data: 2002-11-02, 6:26PM PST



We got our new neighbors about 3 months ago. We need to find them a new home. They take more energy, time and drugs than we can handle. They come with 3 adult generations of methamphetamine users, 7 or 8 cars including several pick up trucks, the occasional stolen car and one stunning early 60's "Beverly Hillbillys" piece o'crap complete with garbage piled up over the racks and not one, but *TWO* battered full size American flags. They are apparently very well socialized, as they have thousands of friends who stop by day and night. They are primarily nocturnal creatures.
They have been trained in:
-Using air ratchets/compressors (again primarily a nocturnal behavior)
-Flicking cigarette butts and chucking beer cans/bottles with accuracy from the front porch.
-Belching
-Screaming matches/domesic violence
-Tweaking/twiching/amping
-Avoiding the police

We really have tried everything, but we know now that we must find them a new home, one better equiped to handle this kind of behavior. Please, no flames. We only want what is best for everyone.
Please -if you have room in your neighborhood for these folks, consider taking them - even if its only a "Foster" situation. Will consider trading for - 420 users (much quieter- and chances are thier house wont blow up), a decent garage band, teenage kids with hotrods who will eventually go off to college. Sorry, but we cant consider "crazy cat ladies and/or raving lunatics" we have one of those already.

Goodnight Bob , Sleepwell

Nighty Night Bob....

Rave: Tide Detergent

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Date: 2004-02-03, 12:28PM EST




Dear Tide:


I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since the beginning of my married life, and now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better! In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.


One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent, but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I stopped and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!


In fact, the stains came out so well, that the detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect!


I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...


Signed,


A relieved menopausal wife