A day in the life. ( Archived) (1)

During the past year, I have attempted to make love to you 365 times. I have succeeded 36 times, which is an average of only once every 10 days. The following is a list of why I didn't succeed more often:1) We will wake the kids - 54 times2) It's too late - 15 times3) I'm too tired - 42 times4) It's too early - 12 times5) It's too hot - 18 times6) Pretending to be asleep - 31 times7) The neighbors will hear - 9 times8) Headache or backache - 26 times9) Sunburn - 10 times10) Your mother will hear us - 9 times11) Not in the mood - 21 times12) Watching the late show - 17 times13) Too sore - 26 times14) New hairdo - 6 times15) Wrong time of the month - 14 times16) You had to go to the bathroom - 19 timesOf the 36 times that I DID succeed, the result was not always satisfying because 6 times you just laid there, 8 times you reminded me that there was a crack in the ceiling, 4 times you told me to hurry up and get it over with, 7 times I had to wake you up to tell you I was finished.