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Lovers of the English language.................unite lol................... ( Archived) (42)

Oct 5, 2008 5:10 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
You think English is easy???

Read to the end . . . a new twist
1) The bandage was wound around the wound.

2) The farm was used to produce produce .

3) The dump was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.

4) We must polish the Polish
furniture.

5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.

6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.

7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present

8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.

9) When shot at, the dove SPAN
dove into the bushes.

10) I did not object to the object.

11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.

12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row ...

13) They were too close to the door to close it.

14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.

15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.

16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.

17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.

STRONG18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.

19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.

20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Let's face it - English is a crazy language. There is no egg in eggplant, nor ham in hamburger; neither apple nor pine in pineapple. English muffins weren't invented in England or French fries in France . Sweetmeats are candies while sweetbreads, which aren't sweet, are meat. We take English for granted. But if we explore its paradoxes, we find that quicksand can work slowly, boxing rings are square and a guinea pig is neither from Guinea nor is it a pig.

rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 5, 2008 5:52 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
The_Kansan
The_KansanThe_KansanKnoxville, Tennessee USA476 Threads 1 Polls 4,695 Posts
Hmmm... I posted this quite some time ago (more than a year) and it's good to see it again! Thank you! handshake

From my perspective - that of a lover and student of American English as well as American History - I quite enjoy the way our language works! Keeps things interesting and yet it's still easy to say exactly what you mean. For example, "I know you believe you understood what you think I said, I'm just not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant." makes perfect sense to me and is easily understood, though I realize that most reader's initial response is "Huh?"

It's like anything else; You can look at it as an unpleasant chore or a job and be frustrated to distraction, or you can look at it as an enjoyable challenge that needs to be met and actually have some fun with it! thumbs up
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Oct 5, 2008 6:18 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
And why is it that writers write but fingers don't fing, grocers don't groce and hammers don't ham? If the plural of tooth is teeth, why isn't the plural of booth, beeth? One goose, 2 geese. So one moose, 2 meese? One index, 2 indices? Doesn't it seem crazy that you can make amends but not one amend? If you have a bunch of odds and ends and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call it?

If teachers taught, why didn't preachers praught? If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat? Sometimes I think all the English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane. In what languag e do people recite at a play and play at a recital? Ship by truck and send cargo by ship? Have noses that run and feet that smell?

How can a slim chance and a fat chance be the same, while a wise man and a wise guy are opposites? You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn up as it burns down, in which you fill in a form by filling it out and in which, an alarm goes off by going on.

English was invented by people, not computers, and it reflects the creativity of the human race, which, of course, is not a race at all. That is why, when the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible.

PS. - Why doesn't 'Buick' rhyme with 'quick' ?

You lovers of the English language might enjoy this .

There is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is ' UP.'

It's easy to understand UP, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we wake UP ? At a meeting, why does a topic come UP ? Why do we speak UP and why are the officers UP for election and why is it UP to the secretary to write UP a report ?

We call UP our friends. And we use it to brighten UP a room, polish UP the silver; we warm UP the leftovers and clean UP the kitchen. We lock UP the house and some guys fix UP the old car. At other times the little word has real special meaning. People stir UP trouble, line UP for tickets, work UP an appetite, and think UP excuses. To be dressed is one thing, but to be dressed UP is s pecial.
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Oct 5, 2008 6:25 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
The_Kansan
The_KansanThe_KansanKnoxville, Tennessee USA476 Threads 1 Polls 4,695 Posts
And finally, part two. (Or is that part, too?) Was afraid you'd only found part one - In which case it'd also be part one, won.

While we're at it, Jenny, can you tell us why 2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 rights make a left? grin
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Oct 5, 2008 6:54 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
CuspofMagic
CuspofMagicCuspofMagiclight, South Australia Australia320 Threads 2 Polls 10,696 Posts
--- innuendo laugh
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Oct 5, 2008 6:57 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
Galactic_bodhi
Galactic_bodhiGalactic_bodhiAkron, Ohio USA786 Threads 2 Polls 12,449 Posts
This is no time to say you know that I mean no when I say that I know....grin

rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 5, 2008 6:57 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
Remember back in the late 70s and early, there was an over the counter diet candy call Ayds like HIV?
I think they took that product off the market because they didnt people to get confuse.
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Oct 5, 2008 7:02 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
The_Kansan: And finally, part two. (Or is that part, too?) Was afraid you'd only found part one - In which case it'd also be part one, won.

While we're at it, Jenny, can you tell us why 2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 rights make a left?


rolling on the floor laughing No I can't.
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Oct 5, 2008 7:03 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
Galactic_bodhi
Galactic_bodhiGalactic_bodhiAkron, Ohio USA786 Threads 2 Polls 12,449 Posts
The_Kansan: And finally, part two. (Or is that part, too?) Was afraid you'd only found part one - In which case it'd also be part one, won.

While we're at it, Jenny, can you tell us why 2 wrongs don't make a right, but 3 rights make a left?



2 wrongs dont make a right, but three lefts do...grin thumbs up

rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 5, 2008 7:04 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
CuspofMagic
CuspofMagicCuspofMagiclight, South Australia Australia320 Threads 2 Polls 10,696 Posts
Galactic_bodhi: This is no time to say you know that I mean no when I say that I know....


---I know what you mean - its just understanding what your on about that I can't grasp
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Oct 5, 2008 7:07 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
Galactic_bodhi
Galactic_bodhiGalactic_bodhiAkron, Ohio USA786 Threads 2 Polls 12,449 Posts
CuspofMagic: ---I know what you mean - its just understanding what your on about that I can't grasp


There's not thyme like this present...It said that on a spice rack I got for xmas once...doh laugh roll eyes
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Oct 5, 2008 7:13 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
This word I never hear anymore being said; Strange or weird.
Every thing is funny to a lot of people.
They will tell me something and say; Was that not funny?
Sorry, but there was nothing funny about what you just said.
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Oct 5, 2008 7:17 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
CuspofMagic
CuspofMagicCuspofMagiclight, South Australia Australia320 Threads 2 Polls 10,696 Posts
hollandgirl: This word I never hear anymore being said; Strange or weird.
Every thing is funny to a lot of people.
They will tell me something and say; Was that not funny?
Sorry, but there was nothing funny about what you just said.



so it wasn't funny - ha ha , twas funny wierd laugh
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Oct 5, 2008 7:23 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
CuspofMagic: so it wasn't funny - ha ha , twas funny wierd


Your strange! rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 5, 2008 7:37 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
I use this one a lot.
"Can I help you?"
My response; "I hope so!"
No one has so far caught on.
They are really asking me if they are capable.

rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 5, 2008 7:43 PM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
CuspofMagic
CuspofMagicCuspofMagiclight, South Australia Australia320 Threads 2 Polls 10,696 Posts
hollandgirl: Your strange!

in a familiar sort of way laugh
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Oct 6, 2008 1:27 AM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
CuspofMagic: in a familiar sort of way


Hmmm come again?

help
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Oct 6, 2008 1:36 AM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
CuspofMagic
CuspofMagicCuspofMagiclight, South Australia Australia320 Threads 2 Polls 10,696 Posts
hollandgirl: Hmmm come again?


--- were all human and being
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Oct 6, 2008 1:41 AM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
CuspofMagic: --- were all human and being


Maybe You are I am an angel
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Oct 6, 2008 1:58 AM CST Lovers of the English language.................unite lol...................
rusty_knight
rusty_knightrusty_knightGozo, Malta254 Threads 4 Polls 10,684 Posts
I like English. It's my native tongue.

One word really gets me.

It's spelt 'buoy'. In the ENGLISH language it is pronounced 'boy'.

For some strange reason Americans pronouce it 'boo-ee'.

Weird!

My theory is that some self-taught American read the word and decided that was the way it was pronounced. He was a big guy and packed a big gun. Nobody dared argue with him; so everybody started pronouncing 'buoy' as 'boo-ee' instead of the correct 'boy'.

That's Democracy in action for you!

I have to laugh at the French though getting apoplectic at 'Franglais' words creeping in like 'Le Hamburger' and 'Le weekend'.

grin
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