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What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol ( Archived) (21)

Oct 6, 2008 6:14 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
Caught speeding


Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: Don't have one?

Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.

Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: Stole it?

Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please!

The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.

The first officer is stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Woman: Betcha the lying buzzard told you I was speeding too.

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 6, 2008 6:16 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
Dknew
DknewDknewBarrington, New Hampshire USA319 Threads 14 Polls 9,166 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 6, 2008 6:17 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA99 Threads 20,283 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

Moral: Don't mess with women! We're smarter than men!

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 6, 2008 6:18 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
Hugz_n_Kissez
Hugz_n_KissezHugz_n_KissezSomeplace, Ontario Canada82 Threads 3 Polls 34,865 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing sir bobby
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Oct 6, 2008 6:20 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
omurchu2
omurchu2omurchu2Dundalk, Louth Ireland5 Threads 205 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing the sly dog rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 6, 2008 6:27 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
druidess6308: Moral: Don't mess with women! We're smarter than men!


Yeah, recognized the 9 signs we give men, in my thread below?
Someone knew the women's psyche for sure!

rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 6, 2008 6:29 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
livinglarge
livinglargelivinglargein a good place, Kildare Ireland13 Threads 8,222 Posts
laugh laugh
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Oct 6, 2008 6:30 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
omurchu2: the sly dog


Wonder if men who get away with it?
Take notes anyway rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 6, 2008 6:37 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
omurchu2
omurchu2omurchu2Dundalk, Louth Ireland5 Threads 205 Posts
hollandgirl: Wonder if men who get away with it?
Take notes anyway



I remember a car i crashed into when i was on the wrong side of the road speeding.

well the owner got out after we moved our cars safely off the main road and accepted my apologys....she was shaking a bit and i told her not to worry i would admit to everything and that my insurance would cover the costs


I offered her a glass of port i had in the car to settle her nerves and when the police arrived i mentioned to them that i could smell alcohol off her breath and how she was swerving everywhere before hitting me devil ....rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing











yes im only kidding grin
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Oct 6, 2008 6:44 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
katiecharlyn
katiecharlynkatiecharlyndublin, Georgia USA8 Threads 3,424 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing thumbs up applause
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Oct 6, 2008 6:52 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
epicure
epicureepicureAlanya/Antalya, Mediterranean Turkey454 Threads 14 Polls 6,373 Posts
It's announced on the radio that one stupid driver is driving in the opposite direction





One stupid driver? says the man




One?





All of them are driving in the opposite direction.
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Oct 6, 2008 6:55 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
omurchu2: I remember a car i crashed into when i was on the wrong side of the road speeding.

well the owner got out after we moved our cars safely off the main road and accepted my apologys....she was shaking a bit and i told her not to worry i would admit to everything and that my insurance would cover the costs I offered her a glass of port i had in the car to settle her nerves and when the police arrived i mentioned to them that i could smell alcohol off her breath and how she was swerving everywhere before hitting me .... yes im only kidding


I was just about to say oh no! you didn't.
When I saw the; I am kidding.
This could easily be done for real huh rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 6, 2008 6:56 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
epicure: It's announced on the radio that one stupid driver is driving in the opposite direction One stupid driver? says the man

One? All of them are driving in the opposite direction.


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 6, 2008 6:57 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
katiecharlyn
katiecharlynkatiecharlyndublin, Georgia USA8 Threads 3,424 Posts
epicure: It's announced on the radio that one stupid driver is driving in the opposite direction One stupid driver? says the man

One? All of them are driving in the opposite direction.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 6, 2008 7:07 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
wantstrue
wantstruewantstrueeverett, Washington USA8 Threads 45 Posts
good onerolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing thumbs up doh
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Oct 7, 2008 7:11 AM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
lktolbert
lktolbertlktolbertAtlanta, Georgia USA1 Threads 190 Posts
Funny! rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 7, 2008 10:28 AM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
Dusty45
Dusty45Dusty45Louisville, Kentucky USA57 Threads 3,238 Posts
This is true.

I got pulled over by the police for speeding on this windy, curvey well use road.
He asked if I had anythng to say since I was driving 50 in a 30mph limit.
I said in all earnest that I was just driving with the flow of traffic.
His reply: "Well, according to our radar, you were the only one on the road."

:::true::::

I got the ticket (about $85) and had to go to driving school to avoid getting points.
I try to follow the speed limit, now.
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Oct 7, 2008 12:08 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
Hannasthe1
Hannasthe1Hannasthe1Wesley Chapel, Florida USA6 Threads 1 Polls 173 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 7, 2008 7:56 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
hollandgirl
hollandgirlhollandgirlSomewhere in Canada. B.C., British Columbia Canada711 Threads 6,072 Posts
Dusty45: This is true.

I got pulled over by the police for speeding on this windy, curvey well use road.
He asked if I had anythng to say since I was driving 50 in a 30mph limit.
I said in all earnest that I was just driving with the flow of traffic .
His reply: "Well, according to our radar, you were the only one on the road."

:::true::::

I got the ticket (about $85) and had to go to driving school to avoid getting points.
I try to follow the speed limit, now.



Good try though, but this cop had no sense of humour rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 7, 2008 11:28 PM CST What to say when you are caught speeding.............Great one!...........lol
charlos
charloscharlosPhoenix, Arizona USA1 Threads 303 Posts
When commuting between Berkeley and SLC for a while I used to take I 80 driving in "Autobahn style"....of course not for long.

When pulled over for speeding I always started to talk in German to the officer "was is los ?" explaining that I just saw all these blue signs "80" and they look very similar to the German signs for minimum speed. Usually they gave me a smile...what a silly guy...and let me go on.

p.s.
That advice on the bottle of Port sounds nice, especially for trips in and out of Utah drinking
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by hollandgirl (711 Threads)
Created: Oct 2008
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