What are you willing to put aside in order to make a relationship work?
What would you be willing to do for your partner?
examples: you are both heavy smokers,, clearly it is bad for you, your partner wants to quit. would you be willing to quit to help the relationship? think of it this way...... when one quits... the sense of smell and taste return......... so now the smoker smells like cigarettes and taste like an ashtray when you kiss??
next: you both enjoy a night out and drinking.......... but your partner has a serious drinking problem and just don't know when to stop... NOT GOOD. so the partner decides they have to quit. A real alcoholic...when quitting has to get away from the alcohol completely to stay quit. Would you be willing to quit to not only improve the relationship..... but also their health??
If it really is LOVE, How far are you wiling to go to make it work?
It is easy to just say.... I would quit this or that...... but lets be honest.
If I was in a serious relationship & these issues arose, yes, I would definitely try. That's what love is, isn't it? Doing for each other & helping each other out!
Anything that would be counterproductive or detrimental to the other person in my life is a problem that I would actively take a stance to correct. There is nothing that I would not turn away from that impaired either her, myself or us. How could anyone profess to Love someone else nevermind themselves if they would trade Love for a cigarette or alcohol or any other thing that would ruin what they share?
BarrenPneuma: Anything that would be counterproductive or detrimental to the other person in my life is a problem that I would actively take a stance to correct. There is nothing that I would not turn away from that impaired either her, myself or us. How could anyone profess to Love someone else nevermind themselves if they would trade Love for a cigarette or alcohol or any other thing that would ruin what they share?
BarrenPneuma: Anything that would be counterproductive or detrimental to the other person in my life is a problem that I would actively take a stance to correct. There is nothing that I would not turn away from that impaired either her, myself or us. How could anyone profess to Love someone else nevermind themselves if they would trade Love for a cigarette or alcohol or any other thing that would ruin what they share?
Thanks.
I know it is a tough question, and really hard to get honest answers. people are people? heck... some will cheat even though they know for a fact that it will destroy a relationship.
Some doctors claim drinking is a sickness????!!!! if so.. wouldnt there be a pill or shot to cure it by now...
I know it is a tough question, and really hard to get honest answers. people are people? heck... some will cheat even though they know for a fact that it will destroy a relationship.
Some doctors claim drinking is a sickness????!!!! if so.. wouldnt there be a pill or shot to cure it by now...
Actually, I thought there WAS a pill you could take. Unfortunately, my ex didn't like taking pills....
sweetowen: If I was in a serious relationship & these issues arose, yes, I would definitely try. That's what love is, isn't it? Doing for each other & helping each other out!
Good thread!!
Maybe give an example of something you have put aside to help a relationship??
I don't agree about compromising to person's personal habits, I don't like.
example: If they smoked, took illegal drugs, "cheating", lying, or anything I dislike, why would I want begin a relationship, knowning that there's a conflict of interest at the start.
I won't compromise or settle, it's better to start a trusting, healthy and loving relationship from the beginning.
Yes, you can fall in "Love" with someone.
In the long term, if their unhealthy habits continue, you'll agree that you wish you never had. JMO
God forbid of course, but no disfiguring incident could ever sway my heart. The body is merely the vehicle we are given in life to have some means of mobility. The woman who holds my heart regardless of her current physical beauty, would never worry about being traded in or up or down. She has the most impressive headlights, the sweetest chassis, and every other part of her rings a peal in my head all day long but she is who she is on the inside so much more than the trappings of her outward self. Age is the ultimate equalizer for those who see with their eyes rather than their hearts. Nothing wrong with polishing, buffing oil changes and every other sort of comfort to prolong her form but in the end she will age gracefully or not but she will age. If the woman of your dreams (or man) pulls up in the snazziest car (or truck) you've ever imagined do you leave them because the got into an accident? Or because the vehicle gets rust spots? How could anyone draw such lines and enforce their views upon one they claim to Love?
sweetowen: I would certainly hope so! You take those vows... for better or worse, in sickness & in health, til death do you part.
But I must say that my ex-boyfriend had sustained a brain injury in a motorcycle accident. He would become both verbally & physically abusive. I tried to stay with him, but for my own safety, & SANITY, I couldn't stay with him for the long haul. I think when you try, nobody can blame you when it just CAN'T work. It doesn't mean I don't still love him, I just couldn't stay. But it wasn't without effort.
Then again in this circumstance the inside was obviously changed and the person you loved was no longer present. I still would go the route of the Notebook though as I could never lose her even for a moment if their was hope of one more second in her presence.
gangelPlovdiv, Bulgaria, Hampshire, England UK5,028 posts
2008mm: I don't agree about compromising to person's personal habits, I don't like.
example: If they smoked, took illegal drugs, "cheating", lying, or anything I dislike, why would I want begin a relationship, knowning that there's a conflict of interest at the start.
I won't compromise or settle, it's better to start a trusting, healthy and loving relationship from the beginning.
Yes, you can fall in "Love" with someone.
In the long term, if their unhealthy habits continue, you'll agree that you wish you never had. JMO
Barring cheating,drugs and drinking, anything else is acceptable in a relationship.Almost.If you are not willing to compromise or take things as they are for the partner and accept their habits, good or bad, then you'll stay alone to the rest of your life with your pets lets say, or you'll be continue your search for the perfect one, who actually doesn't exist.
well I for one refuse to believe you aren't in a serious relationship. why, you're like a young debbie harry. if the men aren't laying siege at your door there's something very wrong with the world.
dillinger: well I for one refuse to believe you aren't in a serious relationship. why, you're like a young debbie harry. if the men aren't laying siege at your door there's something very wrong with the world.
Thank you. You just made my day!
No serious relationship here. I had to take time to like ME. I'm now comfortable in my own skin & ready to find my diamond in the rough.
But that said, he doesn't have to be perfect. He just has to be perfect for me.
gangel: Barring cheating,drugs and drinking, anything else is acceptable in a relationship.Almost.If you are not willing to compromise or take things as they are for the partner and accept their habits, good or bad, then you'll stay alone to the rest of your life with your pets lets say, or you'll be continue your search for the perfect one, who actually doesn't exist.
There are many women who "don't" smoke, use illegal drugs, "cheating", or lying habits.
There might be a great possiblity that I can find such women on this site, who don't have the above "bad" habits.
Some people think in the beginning of a relationship, they can change that other persons habits.
Wrong!!, only that person can change their habit, if they really want to, then it may be too late to save their relationship.
Report threads that break rules, are offensive, or contain fighting. Staff may not be aware of the forum abuse, and cannot do anything about it unless you tell us about it. click to report forum abuse »
If one of the comments is offensive, please report the comment instead (there is a link in each comment to report it).
What would you be willing to do for your partner?
examples: you are both heavy smokers,, clearly it is bad for you, your partner wants to quit.
would you be willing to quit to help the relationship?
think of it this way...... when one quits... the sense of smell and taste return......... so now the smoker smells like cigarettes and taste like an ashtray when you kiss??
next: you both enjoy a night out and drinking..........
but your partner has a serious drinking problem and just don't know when to stop... NOT GOOD.
so the partner decides they have to quit.
A real alcoholic...when quitting has to get away from the alcohol completely to stay quit.
Would you be willing to quit to not only improve the relationship..... but also their health??
If it really is LOVE,
How far are you wiling to go to make it work?
It is easy to just say.... I would quit this or that...... but lets be honest.