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Important Emails . . . ( Archived) (9)

Oct 10, 2008 5:59 PM CST Important Emails . . .
p_seg
p_segp_segCentral, Xlokk Malta481 Threads 7,245 Posts
Thanks to my friends who sent me such important emails in 2007 and 2008. It's so wonderful that you included me in your quest to inform! I'm sure you wish to thank me for the same!

Because of you:

I stopped drinking Coca-Cola after I found out from you that it's good for removing toilet stains. I stopped going to the movies for fear of sitting on a needle infected with AIDS.

I smell awful, but thank goodness I stopped using deodorant because you said it causes cancer. I don't leave my car in any parking lot even though I sometimes have to walk about seven blocks, because you said that someone might drug me with a perfume sample and then try to rob me.

I also stopped answering the phone because you said that they will ask me to dial a stupid number and then I get a phone bill from hell with calls to Uganda, Singapore, Tokyo and maybe the Mars Rover.

I stopped consuming several foods because you said the estrogen they contain may turn me gay.

I also stopped eating chicken and hamburgers because you told me they are nothing more than horrible mutant freaks with no eyes or feathers that are bred in a lab so that places like McDonalds can sell their Big Macs.

I also stopped drinking anything out of a can - you said that I will get sick from the rat feces and urine.

When I go to parties, I now don't mix with anybody - you said that someone will take my kidneys and leave me taking a nap in a bathtub full of ice.

I donated all my savings to the Amy Bruce account. That poor sick girl that was about to die in the hospital. Funny thing, she never seems to get any older.

I went bankrupt from bounced checks that I wrote, in anticipation of the $15,000.00 that Microsoft and AOL were supposed to send me when I participated in their special e-mail program. It's weird, though, that my new free cell phone never arrived, and neither did the passes for my paid vacation to Disneyland.

But I am positive that all this is because of the chain I broke or forgot to follow and I got a curse from hell.

PS: If you don't send this by e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next ten seconds, a bird will shit on you tomorrow at 3:00 PM!
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Oct 10, 2008 6:00 PM CST Important Emails . . .
jampet
jampetjampetwexford, Wexford Ireland40 Threads 1 Polls 3,914 Posts
too true!!rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 10, 2008 6:02 PM CST Important Emails . . .
mbcasey
mbcaseymbcaseyNorth Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA78 Threads 7 Polls 21,350 Posts
laugh rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 10, 2008 6:05 PM CST Important Emails . . .
livinglarge
livinglargelivinglargein a good place, Kildare Ireland13 Threads 8,222 Posts
laugh laugh laugh
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Oct 10, 2008 6:07 PM CST Important Emails . . .
Olsojente
OlsojenteOlsojenteOslo/Zadar, Oslo Norway68 Threads 5 Polls 6,857 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 10, 2008 6:17 PM CST Important Emails . . .
mike69spain
mike69spainmike69spainAlmuñécar, Andalusia Spain41 Threads 6 Polls 5,508 Posts
p_seg: PS: If you don't send this by e-mail to at least 1200 people in the next ten seconds, a bird will shit on you tomorrow at 3:00 PM!


P... why are you publicly displaying my emails to you?

rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing

beer
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Oct 10, 2008 6:25 PM CST Important Emails . . .
p_seg
p_segp_segCentral, Xlokk Malta481 Threads 7,245 Posts
mike69spain: P... why are you publicly displaying my emails to you?


oops, didn't notice that you were online! sigh

laugh wave cheers
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Oct 10, 2008 6:33 PM CST Important Emails . . .
mike69spain
mike69spainmike69spainAlmuñécar, Andalusia Spain41 Threads 6 Polls 5,508 Posts
p_seg: oops, didn't notice that you were online!


The Salamander of CS, that's me beer

How's Malta, are you having the winds we have? They are crasy here.
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Oct 10, 2008 6:47 PM CST Important Emails . . .
p_seg
p_segp_segCentral, Xlokk Malta481 Threads 7,245 Posts
mike69spain: The Salamander of CS, that's me

How's Malta, are you having the winds we have? They are crasy here.

nope, the weather's been fine since I've been back. but I missed the rainy days whilst I was in Barcelona!! grin
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by p_seg (481 Threads)
Created: Oct 2008
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