Interesting Day (21)
I received an email from my ex-girlfriend today. This requires a little set-up.
We had dinner some 2 1/2 months ago. We've always been cordial, and stay in touch. Went to the nice little Italian place across the street, just like we always used to. It was nice and awkward at the same time. It always is. This time, even a little more awkward, as she told me she had parted company with her boyfriend.
We said our goodbyes, and promised to stay in touch. Paralysis by Analysis followed. I know we loved each other very much. I am also a firm believer that we were not together for a reason (mostly, I blame myself). I struggled with what to do, sometimes mightily. In the end, I accepted things as they are. I did nothing.
I sent a "hey, how are you?" type note last night. Told her about my father in the hospital, and that I got a new bike - siginificant since I had to sell the one we more-or-less bought together to get the new one. I also suggested dinner sometime.
I got a reply today. She said sorry to hear about my father, nice bike, and, well, she reconciled with said boyfriend and they are engaged.
Wow.
Of course, I am very happy for her, and she deserves to be happy. In fact, made it a point to tell her so. But why do I feel so odd? Did I not fully let her go? I am the sort that reconciles things and moves on. Why, in this particular situation, am I finding this difficult?
I know we must live with the decisions we make. I accept this. I have to. This chapter of my life has been closed for me.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you react?
Hopefully you were at South Coast Plaza so at least you got some shopping in. I think things and people look better when we can't have them. Everyone goes through this. Let it go and find someone new. Exes are exes for a reason.
We had dinner some 2 1/2 months ago. We've always been cordial, and stay in touch. Went to the nice little Italian place across the street, just like we always used to. It was nice and awkward at the same time. It always is. This time, even a little more awkward, as she told me she had parted company with her boyfriend.
We said our goodbyes, and promised to stay in touch. Paralysis by Analysis followed. I know we loved each other very much. I am also a firm believer that we were not together for a reason (mostly, I blame myself). I struggled with what to do, sometimes mightily. In the end, I accepted things as they are. I did nothing.
I sent a "hey, how are you?" type note last night. Told her about my father in the hospital, and that I got a new bike - siginificant since I had to sell the one we more-or-less bought together to get the new one. I also suggested dinner sometime.
I got a reply today. She said sorry to hear about my father, nice bike, and, well, she reconciled with said boyfriend and they are engaged.
Wow.
Of course, I am very happy for her, and she deserves to be happy. In fact, made it a point to tell her so. But why do I feel so odd? Did I not fully let her go? I am the sort that reconciles things and moves on. Why, in this particular situation, am I finding this difficult?
I know we must live with the decisions we make. I accept this. I have to. This chapter of my life has been closed for me.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you react?
Hopefully you were at South Coast Plaza so at least you got some shopping in. I think things and people look better when we can't have them. Everyone goes through this. Let it go and find someone new. Exes are exes for a reason.
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thanks for sharing this
so good for you to reveal a bit
i understand the sadness/feeling of loss..i'd have it, even if i were 'over' him
for me its been the feeling of loss of the concept...more than the person
and also i have a tendency to either languish in the shame game or mourn what was actually rather potential than a real quality item lost
acceptance
there is a plan for you
and she was and is a part of it-just not 'that way' maybe?
so good for you to reveal a bit
i understand the sadness/feeling of loss..i'd have it, even if i were 'over' him
for me its been the feeling of loss of the concept...more than the person
and also i have a tendency to either languish in the shame game or mourn what was actually rather potential than a real quality item lost
acceptance
there is a plan for you
and she was and is a part of it-just not 'that way' maybe?
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sorry Robert! But time to move on. I think I need to take that same advice . I just got off the phone with my ex-wife. She is remarried, but we are still friendsa.You're a great guy and you'll do what YOU know is right
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I can't really say Robert. I CANNOT stay in contact with an ex; just doesn't work for me. Total complete never, ever, ever, ever talk to, see, ever again. But that's just me.
As long as you feel better typing it out.
As long as you feel better typing it out.
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elevator's broken
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Robert, What ever the reason , you had some feelings that were brought back by seeing and talking to her again. It happens. You are a very good man and the right one will come along for you.
Just move on, and now maybe you can.
In my situation , ever time I see my ex husband I can still feel some of the love I had for him. But thats long past and I also remember my pain so I don't have to feel a lost love thing.
Just move on, and now maybe you can.
In my situation , ever time I see my ex husband I can still feel some of the love I had for him. But thats long past and I also remember my pain so I don't have to feel a lost love thing.
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rwantin: I received an email from my ex-girlfriend today. This requires a little set-up.
We had dinner some 2 1/2 months ago. We've always been cordial, and stay in touch. Went to the nice little Italian place across the street, just like we always used to. It was nice and awkward at the same time. It always is. This time, even a little more awkward, as she told me she had parted company with her boyfriend.
We said our goodbyes, and promised to stay in touch. Paralysis by Analysis followed. I know we loved each other very much. I am also a firm believer that we were not together for a reason (mostly, I blame myself). I struggled with what to do, sometimes mightily. In the end, I accepted things as they are. I did nothing.
I sent a "hey, how are you?" type note last night. Told her about my father in the hospital, and that I got a new bike - siginificant since I had to sell the one we more-or-less bought together to get the new one. I also suggested dinner sometime.
I got a reply today. She said sorry to hear about my father, nice bike, and, well, she reconciled with said boyfriend and they are engaged.
Wow.
Of course, I am very happy for her, and she deserves to be happy. In fact, made it a point to tell her so. But why do I feel so odd? Did I not fully let her go? I am the sort that reconciles things and moves on. Why, in this particular situation, am I finding this difficult?
I know we must live with the decisions we make. I accept this. I have to. This chapter of my life has been closed for me.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you react?
Apologies for the long-winded typing. Feels good to tap it out.
We had dinner some 2 1/2 months ago. We've always been cordial, and stay in touch. Went to the nice little Italian place across the street, just like we always used to. It was nice and awkward at the same time. It always is. This time, even a little more awkward, as she told me she had parted company with her boyfriend.
We said our goodbyes, and promised to stay in touch. Paralysis by Analysis followed. I know we loved each other very much. I am also a firm believer that we were not together for a reason (mostly, I blame myself). I struggled with what to do, sometimes mightily. In the end, I accepted things as they are. I did nothing.
I sent a "hey, how are you?" type note last night. Told her about my father in the hospital, and that I got a new bike - siginificant since I had to sell the one we more-or-less bought together to get the new one. I also suggested dinner sometime.
I got a reply today. She said sorry to hear about my father, nice bike, and, well, she reconciled with said boyfriend and they are engaged.
Wow.
Of course, I am very happy for her, and she deserves to be happy. In fact, made it a point to tell her so. But why do I feel so odd? Did I not fully let her go? I am the sort that reconciles things and moves on. Why, in this particular situation, am I finding this difficult?
I know we must live with the decisions we make. I accept this. I have to. This chapter of my life has been closed for me.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you react?
Apologies for the long-winded typing. Feels good to tap it out.
My ex and I got along great after we split. So well we even got back together for a short time. We soon rediscovered the reason for our initial split and went ydifferent ways again. Still, we maintained a good friendship. When she got into a relationship later it really didn't bother me. I guess the situation was different because we tried twice and both really liked the way things ended up.
Even so, I don't think it's odd to have those feelings or to find it difficult. I guess you can find comfort in the fact that you handled this the best way anyone could and the fact that you do care speaks volumes about you.
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Sparky55: My ex and I got along great after we split. So well we even got back together for a short time. We soon rediscovered the reason for our initial split and went ydifferent ways again. Still, we maintained a good friendship. When she got into a relationship later it really didn't bother me. I guess the situation was different because we tried twice and both really liked the way things ended up.
Even so, I don't think it's odd to have those feelings or to find it difficult. I guess you can find comfort in the fact that you handled this the best way anyone could and the fact that you do care speaks volumes about you.
Even so, I don't think it's odd to have those feelings or to find it difficult. I guess you can find comfort in the fact that you handled this the best way anyone could and the fact that you do care speaks volumes about you.
I agree------ This thread is Archived ------
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Yep...still going through it. He's an ex, but not, since we never really dated. Still friends, still trying to date. Can't kill the love we share, but he can't share it. I, too, am the type to make a clean break...and yet with this one I can't. Sometimes, you just have to accept that you will always love them, and move on...and that becomes its own way of letting go and reconciling. The heart is, unfortunately, not logical.
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I am a bit new to these forums so please let me know if I overstep any bounds.
I have found myself in a similar situation and feel for you. To see someone you loved enough that, even when things went off in the relationship area you still kept in your life, moving on is really difficult. I have experienced almost that same thing. The only difference being that he stopped all calls and emails to me when his relationship got more serious. It was a blessing, I think. But I hope that should I have to face the situation like you had to that my behavoir is as graceful and honorable as yours.
Question though. Is it possible that in selling an item that was bought when you were together and that, no doubt, must have had may memories attached could have caused you to rethink the past? Along with having some family stress in your life at the moment? You seem to be going through a lot right now. Is it possible seeing her move on has in some way caused you to realise that you wish someone was in your life to help share some emotional burden?
Just guessing.
I have found myself in a similar situation and feel for you. To see someone you loved enough that, even when things went off in the relationship area you still kept in your life, moving on is really difficult. I have experienced almost that same thing. The only difference being that he stopped all calls and emails to me when his relationship got more serious. It was a blessing, I think. But I hope that should I have to face the situation like you had to that my behavoir is as graceful and honorable as yours.
Question though. Is it possible that in selling an item that was bought when you were together and that, no doubt, must have had may memories attached could have caused you to rethink the past? Along with having some family stress in your life at the moment? You seem to be going through a lot right now. Is it possible seeing her move on has in some way caused you to realise that you wish someone was in your life to help share some emotional burden?
Just guessing.
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rwantin: I received an email from my ex-girlfriend today. This requires a little set-up.
We had dinner some 2 1/2 months ago. We've always been cordial, and stay in touch. Went to the nice little Italian place across the street, just like we always used to. It was nice and awkward at the same time. It always is. This time, even a little more awkward, as she told me she had parted company with her boyfriend.
We said our goodbyes, and promised to stay in touch. Paralysis by Analysis followed. I know we loved each other very much. I am also a firm believer that we were not together for a reason (mostly, I blame myself). I struggled with what to do, sometimes mightily. In the end, I accepted things as they are. I did nothing.
I sent a "hey, how are you?" type note last night. Told her about my father in the hospital, and that I got a new bike - siginificant since I had to sell the one we more-or-less bought together to get the new one. I also suggested dinner sometime.
I got a reply today. She said sorry to hear about my father, nice bike, and, well, she reconciled with said boyfriend and they are engaged.
Wow.
Of course, I am very happy for her, and she deserves to be happy. In fact, made it a point to tell her so. But why do I feel so odd? Did I not fully let her go? I am the sort that reconciles things and moves on. Why, in this particular situation, am I finding this difficult?
I know we must live with the decisions we make. I accept this. I have to. This chapter of my life has been closed for me.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you react?
Apologies for the long-winded typing. Feels good to tap it out.
We had dinner some 2 1/2 months ago. We've always been cordial, and stay in touch. Went to the nice little Italian place across the street, just like we always used to. It was nice and awkward at the same time. It always is. This time, even a little more awkward, as she told me she had parted company with her boyfriend.
We said our goodbyes, and promised to stay in touch. Paralysis by Analysis followed. I know we loved each other very much. I am also a firm believer that we were not together for a reason (mostly, I blame myself). I struggled with what to do, sometimes mightily. In the end, I accepted things as they are. I did nothing.
I sent a "hey, how are you?" type note last night. Told her about my father in the hospital, and that I got a new bike - siginificant since I had to sell the one we more-or-less bought together to get the new one. I also suggested dinner sometime.
I got a reply today. She said sorry to hear about my father, nice bike, and, well, she reconciled with said boyfriend and they are engaged.
Wow.
Of course, I am very happy for her, and she deserves to be happy. In fact, made it a point to tell her so. But why do I feel so odd? Did I not fully let her go? I am the sort that reconciles things and moves on. Why, in this particular situation, am I finding this difficult?
I know we must live with the decisions we make. I accept this. I have to. This chapter of my life has been closed for me.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you react?
Apologies for the long-winded typing. Feels good to tap it out.
Allright let me see if I can tap something for you along this line.
Your ex was feeling rather down 2 1/2 months ago, and you been the kind hearted, loving gentleman that you always were, obliged to the meal at the restaurant, a nice Italian restaurant. There is nothing as comforting as good food, good company, and a shoulder to cry on. It seems as if you could try getting back together(if), but then the bloke she suddenly called ex became resurrected to life again and soon becomes the gentleman that he is now, called Fiance. Wow! Life does smack us upside with reality sometimes. But I must say I understand where you are coming from because somewhere out there is a gentleman like yourself that likes to remind me how we(he and I) use to be good for each other. But let me give you a little insight, he is always so sure of himself, but let me tell you, 2 seconds into the conversation I snap right out of it and recall the reason for the demise of the relationship in the first place. Now the reason for telling you all this is to show you that you are a man with great potential, going places and not just for any ex but a future lady as well. Cheer up man. I believe there is an invitation coming soon for you to attend a Wedding. By all means accept graciously and take a new lady with you as well.
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rwantin: I received an email from my ex-girlfriend today. This requires a little set-up.
We had dinner some 2 1/2 months ago. We've always been cordial, and stay in touch. Went to the nice little Italian place across the street, just like we always used to. It was nice and awkward at the same time. It always is. This time, even a little more awkward, as she told me she had parted company with her boyfriend.
We said our goodbyes, and promised to stay in touch. Paralysis by Analysis followed. I know we loved each other very much. I am also a firm believer that we were not together for a reason (mostly, I blame myself). I struggled with what to do, sometimes mightily. In the end, I accepted things as they are. I did nothing.
I sent a "hey, how are you?" type note last night. Told her about my father in the hospital, and that I got a new bike - siginificant since I had to sell the one we more-or-less bought together to get the new one. I also suggested dinner sometime.
I got a reply today. She said sorry to hear about my father, nice bike, and, well, she reconciled with said boyfriend and they are engaged.
Wow.
Of course, I am very happy for her, and she deserves to be happy. In fact, made it a point to tell her so. But why do I feel so odd? Did I not fully let her go? I am the sort that reconciles things and moves on. Why, in this particular situation, am I finding this difficult?
I know we must live with the decisions we make. I accept this. I have to. This chapter of my life has been closed for me.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you react?
Apologies for the long-winded typing. Feels good to tap it out.
We had dinner some 2 1/2 months ago. We've always been cordial, and stay in touch. Went to the nice little Italian place across the street, just like we always used to. It was nice and awkward at the same time. It always is. This time, even a little more awkward, as she told me she had parted company with her boyfriend.
We said our goodbyes, and promised to stay in touch. Paralysis by Analysis followed. I know we loved each other very much. I am also a firm believer that we were not together for a reason (mostly, I blame myself). I struggled with what to do, sometimes mightily. In the end, I accepted things as they are. I did nothing.
I sent a "hey, how are you?" type note last night. Told her about my father in the hospital, and that I got a new bike - siginificant since I had to sell the one we more-or-less bought together to get the new one. I also suggested dinner sometime.
I got a reply today. She said sorry to hear about my father, nice bike, and, well, she reconciled with said boyfriend and they are engaged.
Wow.
Of course, I am very happy for her, and she deserves to be happy. In fact, made it a point to tell her so. But why do I feel so odd? Did I not fully let her go? I am the sort that reconciles things and moves on. Why, in this particular situation, am I finding this difficult?
I know we must live with the decisions we make. I accept this. I have to. This chapter of my life has been closed for me.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you react?
Apologies for the long-winded typing. Feels good to tap it out.
NO APOLOGIES needed! That is why we are all here. We have all been there at some time in our lives. I feel for you. You have my friendship and Support, You are a very fine Man RW. There is some very lucky girl looking for you and she will be quite Blessed when she finds you as will you Be. ------ This thread is Archived ------
Sparky55: My ex and I got along great after we split. So well we even got back together for a short time. We soon rediscovered the reason for our initial split and went ydifferent ways again. Still, we maintained a good friendship. When she got into a relationship later it really didn't bother me. I guess the situation was different because we tried twice and both really liked the way things ended up.
Even so, I don't think it's odd to have those feelings or to find it difficult. I guess you can find comfort in the fact that you handled this the best way anyone could and the fact that you do care speaks volumes about you.
Even so, I don't think it's odd to have those feelings or to find it difficult. I guess you can find comfort in the fact that you handled this the best way anyone could and the fact that you do care speaks volumes about you.
Well said!------ This thread is Archived ------
It's quite obvious you really did care about this woman and likely still harbour some feelings for her. It's somewhere I've been myself more than once and in time the feeling goes away again, hopefully never to return, but there's no guarantee.
I don't think I'll ever stop caring for most of the women I've known, and I don't think it's a bad thing, just have to bear in mind it's over for whatever reason. I still talk to a few and it's always nice to catch up, occasionally go out and all that, but I can't see ever revisiting the past.
Pick up another hobby, or just work more. It's always worked for me.
Ok, maybe not.
I don't think I'll ever stop caring for most of the women I've known, and I don't think it's a bad thing, just have to bear in mind it's over for whatever reason. I still talk to a few and it's always nice to catch up, occasionally go out and all that, but I can't see ever revisiting the past.
Pick up another hobby, or just work more. It's always worked for me.
Ok, maybe not.
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Robert
,maybe you feel odd cause something that once was,came so close to being what is now and I personally would be hurting some now after her last reply,it's natural when an ex love moves on and yo still have some type of feelings for her.I am sorry
.Keep the good memories and move on you seem to have so much to offer a woman.Maybe if the last one was in your mind gone because of something you did or didn't do.Learn from mistakes and you will be stronger and be a better partner next time.Still I have felt that feeling as you,happy for the ex,but not wanting to know it is over for good.Time heals some wounds.Hope you feel better soon.
Like I have said in here before,oh if I were only his age,
hey I can dream.Seriously tho
,maybe you feel odd cause something that once was,came so close to being what is now and I personally would be hurting some now after her last reply,it's natural when an ex love moves on and yo still have some type of feelings for her.I am sorry .Keep the good memories and move on you seem to have so much to offer a woman.Maybe if the last one was in your mind gone because of something you did or didn't do.Learn from mistakes and you will be stronger and be a better partner next time.Still I have felt that feeling as you,happy for the ex,but not wanting to know it is over for good.Time heals some wounds.Hope you feel better soon.Like I have said in here before,oh if I were only his age,
hey I can dream.Seriously tho ------ This thread is Archived ------
Thank you all, so much, for your thoughts and insights. It is beyond greatly appreciated. My intent was less to seek sympathy but rather, sort it out in my head. This helped (a great deal). I love the people on this site.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Good night.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Good night.
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rwantin: Thank you all, so much, for your thoughts and insights. It is beyond greatly appreciated. My intent was less to seek sympathy but rather, sort it out in my head. This helped (a great deal). I love the people on this site.
Tomorrow is a new day.
Good night.
Goodnight Robert , SleepwellTomorrow is a new day.
Good night.
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Robert............ One woman married me 3 times. I know we had real love but........... My experience is, going back has never worked "FOR ME" (important words)..
I still "have love" for my last relationship, I wish her the best of everything. Everything does NOT include me..
I still "have love" for my last relationship, I wish her the best of everything. Everything does NOT include me..
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We had dinner some 2 1/2 months ago. We've always been cordial, and stay in touch. Went to the nice little Italian place across the street, just like we always used to. It was nice and awkward at the same time. It always is. This time, even a little more awkward, as she told me she had parted company with her boyfriend.
We said our goodbyes, and promised to stay in touch. Paralysis by Analysis followed. I know we loved each other very much. I am also a firm believer that we were not together for a reason (mostly, I blame myself). I struggled with what to do, sometimes mightily. In the end, I accepted things as they are. I did nothing.
I sent a "hey, how are you?" type note last night. Told her about my father in the hospital, and that I got a new bike - siginificant since I had to sell the one we more-or-less bought together to get the new one. I also suggested dinner sometime.
I got a reply today. She said sorry to hear about my father, nice bike, and, well, she reconciled with said boyfriend and they are engaged.
Wow.
Of course, I am very happy for her, and she deserves to be happy. In fact, made it a point to tell her so. But why do I feel so odd? Did I not fully let her go? I am the sort that reconciles things and moves on. Why, in this particular situation, am I finding this difficult?
I know we must live with the decisions we make. I accept this. I have to. This chapter of my life has been closed for me.
Have you ever found yourself in a similar situation? How did you react?
Apologies for the long-winded typing. Feels good to tap it out.