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Things My Mother Taught Me ( Archived) (28)

Oct 23, 2008 9:05 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE
"If you're going to kill each other, do it outside - I just finished cleaning!"

My mother taught me RELIGION
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."

My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle
of next week!"

My mother taught me REASON
"Because I said so, that's why."

My Mother taught me LOGIC
"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."

My mother taught me FORESIGHT
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident"

My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS
"Shut your mouth and eat your supper!"

My mother taught me about CONTORTIONISM
"Will you "look" at the dirt on the back of your neck!"

My mother taught me about STAMINA
"You'll sit there 'till all that spinach is finished."

My mother taught me about WEATHER
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."

My mother taught me how to solve PHYSICS PROBLEMS
"If I yelled because I saw a meteor coming toward you, would you listen

THEN?"

My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY
"If I've told you once, I've told you a million times--Don't
exaggerate!!!"

My mother taught me THE CIRCLE OF LIFE
"I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."

My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION
"Stop acting like your father!"

My mother taught me about ENVY!
"There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have wonderful parents like you do!"

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION
"Just wait until we get home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING
"You are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE
"If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD
"If you don't pass your spelling test, you'll never get a good job."

My Mother taught me ESP
"Put your sweater on; don't you think I know when you're cold?"

My Mother taught me HUMOR
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT
"If you don't eat your vegetables, you'll never grow up."

My Mother taught me about SEX
"How do you THINK you got here?"

My Mother taught me about GENETICS
"You're just like your father."

My Mother taught me about my ROOTS
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"

My Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE
"When you get to be my age, you will understand."

And my all time favorite...

My Mother taught me about JUSTICE
"One day you'll have kids ... and I hope they turn out just like you!
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Oct 23, 2008 9:06 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
mindfful
mindffulmindffulChicago, Illinois USA307 Threads 9 Polls 25,009 Posts
my mother taught me to duck and to so quiet maybe i would become invisible
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Oct 23, 2008 9:08 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
Dknew
DknewDknewBarrington, New Hampshire USA319 Threads 14 Polls 9,166 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 23, 2008 9:10 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA99 Threads 20,283 Posts
My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."


This was my mother's favorite to use...

but I still find this funny.

laugh laugh laugh tongue heart wings
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Oct 23, 2008 9:10 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
jlw45
jlw45jlw45lake Dallas, Texas USA101 Threads 1 Polls 21,759 Posts
my mother taught me, i'de better not ever piss her off againuh oh ...rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 23, 2008 9:12 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
mindfful
mindffulmindffulChicago, Illinois USA307 Threads 9 Polls 25,009 Posts
im so glad my pain can serve as your entertainment dknew
crying





















rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 23, 2008 9:13 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
druidess6308
druidess6308druidess6308Aliquippa, Pennsylvania USA99 Threads 20,283 Posts
mindfful: my mother taught me to duck and to so quiet maybe i would become invisible



hug
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Oct 23, 2008 9:13 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
mindfful
mindffulmindffulChicago, Illinois USA307 Threads 9 Polls 25,009 Posts
jlw45: my mother taught me, i'de better not ever piss her off again ...



is that what happened to your hair?









When I was your age, television was called books.
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Oct 23, 2008 9:14 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
jlw45
jlw45jlw45lake Dallas, Texas USA101 Threads 1 Polls 21,759 Posts
mindfful: is that what happened to your hair?
When I was your age, television was called books.
rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing yep....she snatched me baldheadedrolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 23, 2008 9:16 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
jlw45
jlw45jlw45lake Dallas, Texas USA101 Threads 1 Polls 21,759 Posts
mindfful: is that what happened to your hair?
When I was your age, television was called books.
oh yea.....''never trust a ceacilian, when death is on the line''.....rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 23, 2008 9:22 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
Dknew
DknewDknewBarrington, New Hampshire USA319 Threads 14 Polls 9,166 Posts
mindfful: im so glad my pain can serve as your entertainment dknew



That wasn't meant for you Mindfful but Anna's post. hug





"My Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE"


If you think that hurts now wait till we get home.
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Oct 23, 2008 9:33 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
sigh AS women get older, they seem to forget what their mothers taught them..devil


uh oh






hole
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Oct 23, 2008 9:35 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
HJFinAZ: AS women get older, they seem to forget what their mothers taught them..



I have a perfect memory. Hmm What did you say your name was again?rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 23, 2008 9:47 PM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
somechick: I have a perfect memory. Hmm What did you say your name was again?


I don't remember....sigh Old & senile ya know..grin
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Oct 24, 2008 3:41 AM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
laugh thumbs up
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Oct 26, 2008 4:39 AM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
BarrenPneuma
BarrenPneumaBarrenPneumaGolden Staircase, Ontario Canada121 Threads 4 Polls 2,496 Posts
bump just to bury that obnoxious thread...
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Oct 26, 2008 8:59 AM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
Dknew
DknewDknewBarrington, New Hampshire USA319 Threads 14 Polls 9,166 Posts
BarrenPneuma: bump just to bury that obnoxious thread...




thumbs up thumbs up thumbs up
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Oct 26, 2008 9:00 AM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
Indyfella
IndyfellaIndyfellaindianapolis, Indiana USA230 Threads 9 Polls 27,698 Posts
rolling on the floor laughing
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Oct 26, 2008 9:03 AM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
Sommerauer71
Sommerauer71Sommerauer71Salzburg, Austria164 Threads 4 Polls 19,249 Posts
Wonderful..
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Oct 26, 2008 9:06 AM CST Things My Mother Taught Me
lusciousmile
lusciousmilelusciousmileThere, Aland Islands Finland31 Threads 2 Polls 17,895 Posts
My mother taught me IRONY
"Keep crying and I'll give you something to cry about."

Yep, that was mum!


rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing rolling on the floor laughing
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