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Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating? ( Archived) (38)

Oct 24, 2008 8:25 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
fireliter
fireliterfireliterAllen Park, Michigan USA635 Threads 17 Polls 7,934 Posts
personally, it has never worked out for me.

While I know of some who marry the very next one they get emotionally /physically involved with.
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Oct 24, 2008 8:35 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
Dknew
DknewDknewBarrington, New Hampshire USA319 Threads 14 Polls 9,166 Posts
I don't know, It's been a few months now since the break up so I don't think anything starting now would be a rebound. dunno
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Oct 24, 2008 8:41 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
fireliter
fireliterfireliterAllen Park, Michigan USA635 Threads 17 Polls 7,934 Posts
Dknew: I don't know, It's been a few months now since the break up so I don't think anything starting now would be a rebound.


was it a relationship that lasted over 2 or 3 years? , have you dated at all since the end of the last one ( dated the same woman more than 3 times)?

there used to be a formula I read somewhere where that was more of a guidline to determine if indeed someone was/could be on the rebound... just cannot recall what it was.
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Oct 24, 2008 8:47 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
Dknew
DknewDknewBarrington, New Hampshire USA319 Threads 14 Polls 9,166 Posts
fireliter: was it a relationship that lasted over 2 or 3 years? , have you dated at all since the end of the last one ( dated the same woman more than 3 times)?

there used to be a formula I read somewhere where that was more of a guidline to determine if indeed someone was/could be on the rebound... just cannot recall what it was.




Nope only 8 months total and no haven't dated since I left Kentucky.
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Oct 24, 2008 8:48 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
Hugz_n_Kissez
Hugz_n_KissezHugz_n_KissezSomeplace, Ontario Canada82 Threads 3 Polls 34,865 Posts
fireliter: personally, it has never worked out for me.

While I know of some who marry the very next one they get emotionally /physically involved with.



I think if you jump too soon...it's really only a distraction from dealing with the pain of the original break-up...not necessarily based on ones true feelings but the feelings of being cut deep by another...while in that relationship...you deal with all your pain...are thankful to the one who supported you through it all and was there for you but now realize that you don't want to settle for the first person who came along...you want to get out there and live and date and see what all the possibilities are before making a decision to truly commit again.....now that you have let go of all your baggage with the help of your partner and feel better about yourself than you have in a long time....and your partner who thought you were in love with them all this time was really just someone to lean on and distract you in your time of need...this is why rebounds don't work and won't work cause you have to heal and deal on your own first before you can begin the next stage with a new relationship!!!!!!!!


wave wink hug teddybear hug bouquet
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Oct 24, 2008 8:49 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
jbibiza
jbibizajbibizaIbiza, Balearic Islands Spain133 Threads 6 Polls 7,679 Posts
I dated a man in Italy and we were supposed to be "transition" people for each other... He was getting over the death of fiance and I was starting a whole new chapter in my life.... we fell in love, which wasn´t supposed to happen... he was 13 years younger then I and wanted a family, I was finished with that part of my life. We´re still in touch with each other... he´s married and has a child, we both still miss each other.

So rebounds can often turn into the real thing... make sure your rebound is suitable for the long term, or you may find yourself in a painful situation.
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Oct 24, 2008 8:55 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
riyablossom
riyablossomriyablossomsomewhere, Pennsylvania USA201 Threads 21 Polls 13,583 Posts
I believe that involvements of any kind ought to be very selective. Every time u put yourself out there , a part of you gets eroded if its painful in the end.

One needs to know what they want and then venture into a relationship. So , rebound or not If it is special it will be just that and maybe become more ...
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Oct 24, 2008 9:09 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
MysticErf
MysticErfMysticErfTampa, Florida USA8 Threads 1 Polls 241 Posts
The one rebound relationship I had was a absolute failure at the end(it was a rebound for both of us), but it proved to be a catalyst for my current high standards.

Sometimes I wonder if they're too high, I haven't had a date since!
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Oct 24, 2008 9:11 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
DazzleYou
DazzleYouDazzleYouSeattle, WA, Washington USA60 Threads 2 Polls 1,343 Posts
I have always said one should wait a year before getting back into dating after an end to marriage.

I waited 2 before dating seriously.
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Oct 24, 2008 9:12 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
fireliter
fireliterfireliterAllen Park, Michigan USA635 Threads 17 Polls 7,934 Posts
not everyone feels the degree o fhurt and emotional destruction from a relationship that ended badly.


For many, I can see the reasoning in needing another to reinforce their self worth and esteem.

Sadly, once that is established they come to realize/accept they must move on. get to dating again so they can find that "special someone". what scary is everyone being different, how does one determine if they themselves are ready to date or if someone who catches their attention is ready.
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Oct 24, 2008 9:25 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
Rebound relationships are a bad idea. It's a bad tool to get back into dating without taking the time for yourself to emotionally heal independently and develop a stronger sense of independent happiness and understanding without relying on somebody.
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Oct 24, 2008 11:48 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
brokenspirit
brokenspiritbrokenspiritLittlespot, Nebraska USA53 Threads 803 Posts
StressFree: Rebound relationships are a bad idea. It's a bad tool to get back into dating without taking the time for yourself to emotionally heal independently and develop a stronger sense of independent happiness and understanding without relying on somebody.




I waited 3 years after my husband passed. I met someone on CS. He had lost his wife aboutthe same time I lost my husband. We after several months decided we were madly in love, never met, just here and many very long phone converdations. Needless to say we discovered what was really happening and ended the relationship. It is different with each individual as to how long you wait.
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Oct 24, 2008 11:50 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
brokenspirit
brokenspiritbrokenspiritLittlespot, Nebraska USA53 Threads 803 Posts
brokenspirit: I waited 3 years after my husband passed. I met someone on CS. He had lost his wife aboutthe same time I lost my husband. We after several months decided we were madly in love, never met, just here and many very long phone converdations. Needless to say we discovered what was really happening and ended the relationship. It is different with each individual as to how long you wait.


spell check: conversationsprofessor
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Oct 24, 2008 11:51 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
mbcasey
mbcaseymbcaseyNorth Myrtle Beach, South Carolina USA78 Threads 7 Polls 21,350 Posts
I gathered in the rebound...now I am looking to shoot and score!!!banana grin
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Oct 24, 2008 11:55 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
It's been over a year since I've been with anyone, no I don't think if I meant and fell for someone it would considered on the rebound.

I wouldn't expect the new guy in my life to fulfill all my needs nor take the place of my late husband cause that would be totally unfair to expect of anyone.
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Oct 24, 2008 11:56 AM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
jbibiza
jbibizajbibizaIbiza, Balearic Islands Spain133 Threads 6 Polls 7,679 Posts
mbcasey: I gathered in the rebound...now I am looking to shoot and score!!!


... and he runs.... he shoots.... nothing but net! Score!!!! cheering cheering cheering
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Oct 24, 2008 12:08 PM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
I don't feel rebound dating last because using a person to get over another is not the right way to get off to a good start with them. People tend to talk alot about their exes when they aren't over them, even if the comments are negative the one who is the reboundee can feel like the rebounder has their ex on their mind just a little too much. There tends to also be alot of comparisons in the rebounders mind of the ex to the reboundee. Whether r or not they voice these comparisons, the person who is basically being used can tell that the rebounder has something and someone else on their mind.
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Oct 24, 2008 12:14 PM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
sweetowen
sweetowensweetowenSomewhere, Pennsylvania USA344 Threads 5 Polls 11,456 Posts
I'm in agreement with the others on this. Rebound relationships never work, from my experience. Actually, I've been the "rebounder" a few times & it's not fun. What usually ended up happening in my situation was that they'd go back to the ex. In a way, I felt as though I was used to make her jealous, so that she'd want him back. In the end, I was hurt & alone. I won't let myself be caught up in that sort of situation anymore. I always ask how long they've been apart BEFORE going any further with the relationship.
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Oct 24, 2008 12:17 PM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
Dknew
DknewDknewBarrington, New Hampshire USA319 Threads 14 Polls 9,166 Posts
somechick: I don't feel rebound dating last because using a person to get over another is not the right way to get off to a good start with them. People tend to talk alot about their exes when they aren't over them, even if the comments are negative the one who is the reboundee can feel like the rebounder has their ex on their mind just a little too much. There tends to also be alot of comparisons in the rebounders mind of the ex to the reboundee. Whether r or not they voice these comparisons, the person who is basically being used can tell that the rebounder has something and someone else on their mind.



Agreed, But also it depends on the individual as to how long it takes to get over a break up and what caused it. In my case I'm going to say it wasn't long before I moved on and she'll alway have a place in my heart but theres no going back.
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Oct 24, 2008 12:20 PM CST Rebound relationships... do they last or just a tool/path to get back into dating?
Any hot chicks looking for a rebound??devil

Temporary of course, everything is temporary..grin
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by fireliter (635 Threads)
Created: Oct 2008
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